how to establish emotional investment rather than IL?

[pete101]

it's been noted on here that IL is temporary but emotional investment is permanent or long term. the big difference is that interest level comes and goes, so she may be interested at the time of your interaction but by the time you contact her that interest has diminished and faded, HOWEVER emotional investment is more permanent and long lasting.

how does 1 establish this?

i heard it's to do with somehow getting her to invest into the conversation emotionally or investing somehow that if she does not continue with the interaction at a later date she's wasted her emotional investment.

basically this leads to less flakings.

would getting her to talk about stories from her childhood when she was a little girl within the 1st conversation/pick up be an example?

 

[corrector]

Well, this whole Interest Level thing I think comes from Doc Love. I've invested once in his literature, but like most books, I usually skim through it once, maybe try to give it a good shot, but then it collects dust.

In his world-view, he doesn't discuss emotional investment. Interest level is something that is set up like a volume. If it is below 50%, then it is 'friendzoned' or in terminal decline. If it is above 50%, going in, then you have a chance.

The problem with most dating advice is it always trys to sell the idea that your "looks" do not matter and over-emphasize game or some other analysis. If you had "looks" within the girl's preference, or you are a hot guy, then a woman will not flake, and will be very invested in the interaction. Therefore, if she likes you, then you should have 50% + interest level going in that you can actually work with. Otherwise, you are wasting your time.

The whole concept of interest level is to get guys realistic about their expectation and chances of a girl. The fact you are worried about technical definitions, etc... shows already that this girl has less than 50% interest, putting you into doubt, and no emotional investment will change that since you are not her "looks" preferance.

 

[sinnerman]

it's been noted on here that IL is temporary but emotional investment is permanent or long term. the big difference is that interest level comes and goes, so she may be interested at the time of your interaction but by the time you contact her that interest has diminished and faded, HOWEVER emotional investment is more permanent and long lasting.

how does 1 establish this?

i heard it's to do with somehow getting her to invest into the conversation emotionally or investing somehow that if she does not continue with the interaction at a later date she's wasted her emotional investment.

basically this leads to less flakings.

would getting her to talk about stories from her childhood when she was a little girl within the 1st conversation/pick up be an example?

emotional investment can happen only after you spend a lot of time together and know each other well..also if she's there with you in your emotional turmoil then she's emotionally invested. being emotionally invested means caring about how you feel. IL as you rightly said goes up and down but its only an indicator of how much attention the girl wants from you. its not about her caring about you.

I dont think you can make a stranger emotionally invested. however, talking about childhood and all could lead to a good rapport buildup as these stories are usually fun and could open up more threads.