How to do the "take away" in a non-offensive manner

[Broo]

Let's say you ask a woman out for a weekday date. She then gives you the "Call back to verify" or "Text me / Remind me", and you want to gauge her level of interest which is the "take away" Of course you don't want to go out with someone knowing they're just planning to go out, just for the sake of going out.

These are some examples of "take aways" I've seen.
1) "When I make plans, I make them to be
there. If you can’t make plans with me Tuesday, then let’s just make it
another night."

2) "I want to take you out but I am only
going to take you out if we can make definite plans. If you can’t, then
let’s just do it some other time."

Any other suggestions on how to say this, without sounding too ****y?

 

[playa99]

Assume attraction and you wont have to verify like this...

Once you've asked her out and set a day, all you need to do is confirm on the day when your picking up, i'd say something like "i'll pick you up at 7, whats your address?"

Assume interest in how you say things and you should get a better response

 

[TheException]

This^

Although i would just set definite times and day at once. That way you dont even have to text her that day. The girl will often times end up texting you "Are we still good for tonight". You reply "Yes, see you there."

 

[Who Dares Win]

Assume attraction and you wont have to verify like this...

Once you've asked her out and set a day, all you need to do is confirm on the day when your picking up, i'd say something like "i'll pick you up at 7, whats your address?"

Assume interest in how you say things and you should get a better response

This^

Although i would just set definite times and day at once. That way you dont even have to text her that day. The girl will often times end up texting you "Are we still good for tonight". You reply "Yes, see you there."

He is not asking about how to avoid flakes but how to know if some girl is interested in going out with HIM or simply going out to not just stay at home.

OP: I hear you and the best line which works to me is simply saying that its better to have a great day after postponing than have a normal day right then, according to their reaction you can gauge whats going on.

Anyway the "text me, remind me" line is already itself a sign of low interest, a girl which goes out with a guy she likes will very likely be impatient to go out with him, let alone the chance of her forgetting it.

 

[TheException]

He is not asking about how to avoid flakes but how to know if some girl is interested in going out with HIM or simply going out to not just stay at home.

Hmmm true. It seems after re reading the OP is trying to come up with a way to do a "take away" without looking like a chump BECAUSE he is worried about interest level. I would propose then, the whole question is incorrect. You shouldnt be worrying about how to text her to gauge this. Thats just putting effort into something likely to decrease attraction. The examples provided are pathetic and are similar to an ultimatums....which never work. If she's not interested move on...

Anyway the "text me, remind me" line is already itself a sign of low interest

Truth^

 

[Broo]

He is not asking about how to avoid flakes but how to know if some girl is interested in going out with HIM or simply going out to not just stay at home.

Hmmm true. It seems after re reading the OP is trying to come up with a way to do a "take away" without looking like a chump BECAUSE he is worried about interest level. I would propose then, the whole question is incorrect. You shouldnt be worrying about how to text her to gauge this. Thats just putting effort into something likely to decrease attraction. The examples provided are pathetic and are similar to an ultimatums....which never work. If she's not interested move on...

Anyway the "text me, remind me" line is already itself a sign of low interest

Truth^

If you do get the "text me/remind me" wishy-washy kind of answer. What do you do from that point? Will you still stay on course with the date? Or cancel it altogether since you already know she's not that interested.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

If a girl says that to me after I suggest plans, I go complete NC.

A response like that from a girl means that her interest level is ROCK BOTTOM. I have no interest in fighting that uphill battle. I have better things to do with my time.

 

[Broo]

If a girl says that to me after I suggest plans, I go complete NC.

A response like that from a girl means that her interest level is ROCK BOTTOM. I have no interest in fighting that uphill battle. I have better things to do with my time.

What happened to me recently was I asked a girl out on a date, she confirmed early that week, but had asked me to remind her. So I did the day before. We went out next day, got signs also she just wasn't into me. She was constantly checking out her cell, mentions other guys, etc.

Following week tried to get another date but got the "I don't know I'm busy the whole week / I'm not sure" text. So I'm gonna heed your advice next time this happens to me. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result, might as well do NC.

 

[Bokanovsky]

These are some examples of "take aways" I've seen.
1) "When I make plans, I make them to be
there. If you can’t make plans with me Tuesday, then let’s just make it
another night."

2) "I want to take you out but I am only
going to take you out if we can make definite plans. If you can’t, then
let’s just do it some other time."

Any other suggestions on how to say this, without sounding too ****y?

I usually say "If you're not sure, I'd rather make other plans. Let's meet another time". If she's interested, she will backpedal and agree to a definite time.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

What happened to me recently was I asked a girl out on a date, she confirmed early that week, but had asked me to remind her. So I did the day before. We went out next day, got signs also she just wasn't into me. She was constantly checking out her cell, mentions other guys, etc.

Following week tried to get another date but got the "I don't know I'm busy the whole week / I'm not sure" text. So I'm gonna heed your advice next time this happens to me. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result, might as well do NC.

Now you know firsthand that piece of advice is spot on.

If a HOT girl asked you out, would you need a reminder of your date with her? :crackup:

She's just not attracted to you much at all if you get that kind of response. It is a "soft rejection". Remember NC isn't about trying to get her to come around. It is about YOU moving on and asking other girls out on dates. Don't forget that fundamental piece of advice.