How to do a completely cold approach?

[Asteconn]

Hello thar.

Whilst out tonight, in the pub with my 2 best chums, there were a couple of quite tidy blondes sitting a few tables away from us. I chickened out approaching them initially, and when I strolled past trying to engage eye contact, they were pretty oblivious. They were having a deep chat to each other.

So, instead of moping over a lost opportunity, I decided to have a think about it.

I've not actually done a completely cold approach before. It's quite intimidating. Should I have gone up and chatted, what should I say? "Hello"? or did I read the signs right?

 

[Asteconn]

That's not really a totally cold approach though, that's taking advantage of a situation (them coming in) to strike up a conversation. What I'm after help with is when someone (or a group) are minding their own business

 

[jacob]

you: Tanya?......... Tanya! Oh Sh!t, it's me Jack!
her: huh?
you: just kidding. wassup

 

[alnite]

Girls in pack are harder to approach. They look out for one another. Unfortunately I don't have the experience attracting a pack of females, so I can't say what to do there. I'd try to game just one, and isolate her briefly for a phone number, then leave.

 

[Asteconn]

Ladies in a group are very intimidating, yes. But! I think that if I can get on well with all of them I will have better chances on the whole.

 

[daygameguy]

Try to develop a personality and "game" that will make you attractive to everyone, all the girls should find you attractive, and all the guys should think you're cool. If you can do that you'll get laid like a rockstar.

That is what I aim for.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

+1 Rep for Daygameguy....yea, man def have a good personality(ur best own). But for the cold approach, i'd say go up to the group, Tell the women u want that u find her "Whatever attractive" and that u will talk to her, THEN.....Immediately talk to her friends and be very friendly with them. But if some aren't...don't bother with them and just talk to the friendly ones...after that, then give attention to the girl u like again.

Just remember, in groups...****blocking can be evident...its not ur fault...they just initially underestimate how much of a stud u are(Them initially believing ur an average chump....which ur not)

 

[Asteconn]

Gotcha.

Now I just have to sump up the balls to go and talk to someone without relying on situational circumstance to help; which is the bigger problem to be honest. I'm quite stumped at what to say to give me reason for talking to them; or what to say other than Hello =/

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

The only reason you need is that she's a sexy woman right before ur eyes. Its a gift. Thats all. Thinking of situational circumstances(within reason) will only hinder you. It doesn't matter what they're doing, besides if they're in a huge argument, they'll let you know . Good Luck man!

 

[The Forms]

The reason the cold approach is intimidating is because it is forced and strange and you have no idea if she's going to respond warmly or not.

Here's a few little things to keep in mind:

never approach in a way that she doesn't see you coming. IE, don't walk up behind a girl and tap her on the shoulder. She needs to see you coming so she can size you up and know you're approaching her. If you catch her off guard she's more likely to respond negatively because she'll be a little flustered (who is this guy and why is he talking to me?)

Also, one thing that will make it 100 times easier: make eye contact before you approach. One way to do this is to let her notice you looking at her. You can even smile or do a little wave. She will look away. That's fine. If she looks back within 45 seconds or so, she's interested. Then you walk over and say whatever it is you say, ("hi, I'm steve." or "you really remind me of my friend Sarah I haven't seen in a long time." for some reason that last one makes her want you to like her I've noticed. )

After that initial approach, the regular social dynamics hardwired into you will take over. If it feels wierd, you leave. If you're having fun, you stick around.

Still, the best opener is whatever feels most natural for the situation. For instance, I have a very loud and boisterous laugh. So if I'm with friends and laughing I'll notice a girl in my proximity kind of look at me and giggle a little bit when I laugh. So it's easy to just look at her and say "I know my laugh is way too loud. I shouldn't be allowed in public." or "Are you laughing at me? You're mean. I'm staying away from you." Then she'll inevitably say, "Oh no, I love your laugh! You just let is all out." Or, "your laugh in infectious! Hearing someone laugh so hard makes me happy." Conversation ensues.

I read a book called "Love Signals" that's all about body language and has a lot about approaching in it. They talk about how a successful approach entails her noticing you and giving you some sort of buying signal before you even say hi. Hence, why you don't walk up right behind a stranger and tap her shoulder.

 

[Lexington]

It's all about confidence. Even if you don't have it, you can learn to project it. Walk up them with a bounce in your step and let your intentions be known. Assume she likes you. It's also about not giving a flying fvck. What's the very worst thing that could happen? She might tell you to go away. Whatever.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

The reason the cold approach is intimidating is because it is forced and strange and you have no idea if she's going to respond warmly or not.

Here's a few little things to keep in mind:

never approach in a way that she doesn't see you coming. IE, don't walk up behind a girl and tap her on the shoulder. She needs to see you coming so she can size you up and know you're approaching her. If you catch her off guard she's more likely to respond negatively because she'll be a little flustered (who is this guy and why is he talking to me?)

Not necessarily. Sure they'll be caught off guard, but that can be used to ur advantage ;-). Them being flustered is good...it means that if they are affected by this kind of approach and are acting this way, it will be more meaningfull.

Also, one thing that will make it 100 times easier: make eye contact before you approach. One way to do this is to let her notice you looking at her. You can even smile or do a little wave. She will look away. That's fine. If she looks back within 45 seconds or so, she's interested. Then you walk over and say whatever it is you say, ("hi, I'm steve." or "you really remind me of my friend Sarah I haven't seen in a long time." for some reason that last one makes her want you to like her I've noticed. )

Yea, waiting for eye contact makes it easier BUT can be severly limiting as even if a girl likes u, most are shy with eye contact/will try to not make it so obvious.

After that initial approach, the regular social dynamics hardwired into you will take over. If it feels wierd, you leave. If you're having fun, you stick around.

Sometimes even if u feel weird, ur gonna have to stick in there if u want her. thats the discipline required in the game.

Still, the best opener is whatever feels most natural for the situation. For instance, I have a very loud and boisterous laugh. So if I'm with friends and laughing I'll notice a girl in my proximity kind of look at me and giggle a little bit when I laugh. So it's easy to just look at her and say "I know my laugh is way too loud. I shouldn't be allowed in public." or "Are you laughing at me? You're mean. I'm staying away from you." Then she'll inevitably say, "Oh no, I love your laugh! You just let is all out." Or, "your laugh in infectious! Hearing someone laugh so hard makes me happy." Conversation ensues.

Reminds me of my old man hahaha.

I read a book called "Love Signals" that's all about body language and has a lot about approaching in it. They talk about how a successful approach entails her noticing you and giving you some sort of buying signal before you even say hi. Hence, why you don't walk up right behind a stranger and tap her shoulder.

Sorry i disagree with this. Approach regardless if she notices you or not. Ur gonna not take the opportunity of going up to a woman who makes ur body get excited....just cuz she doesn't give off an IOI off the bat?

TC, PM Me when u've tried it. I await ur progress! :-D

 

[The Forms]

Yea, waiting for eye contact makes it easier BUT can be severly limiting as even if a girl likes u, most are shy with eye contact/will try to not make it so obvious.

If she's even mildly interested she'll do at least one quick glance back at you after she notices you noticing her. Even if she is shy. It isn't an issue of making eye contact, it's her glancing at you really quick (likely when she thinks you aren't looking anymore).




QUOTE=DonJoseCantosie] Sorry i disagree with this. Approach regardless if she notices you or not. Ur gonna not take the opportunity of going up to a woman who makes ur body get excited....just cuz she doesn't give off an IOI off the bat? [/QUOTE]

I'm not saying you HAVE to do these things, but the OP is having trouble making a cold approach, so I'm just giving hima few tips that will make approaching not so intimidating. It's much easier to approach a girl who's checked you out.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Oh ok. I understand what ur saying

 

[chinwaggler]

cold approaches are good because you instantly tell whether they are attracted to you. I did one today, she was sitting on her own looking glum and bored, my mate pointed her out, i walked up to her from the front, said 'you alrite', that was it lol. I'm gonna post a FR in a bit