how to discuss your negatives?

[FoolsCause]

I wear eyeglasses (can't wear contacts), so alot of women would dismiss me as a nerd. And I'm middle-aged, low-income (quit a steady job, and haven't found anything to replace the income) and reside at my mother's home. I have strengths such as musical ability, but it's hard to know which women value them. What's the proper way to deal with your negatives in conversations with potential dates?

 

[backbreaker]

first of all, it's because you view them as a negaitive doesn't mean it's a negative.

Look at it this way. I wear glasses too.. I can wear Contacts, but I am the laziest person on earth when it comes to putting them on, plus nothing looks better than a pair of sharp glasses with a nice suit, it gives you an itelligent look about yourself. plus I'm blind as a bat.

I am a nerd. I'm lucky to get my somewhat athletic ability from my dad (played AAU and varsity Basketball and Baseball, my dad played college basketball) but I take after my mom for the most part. For god's sake, I quit playing basketball so I can take computer classes... that should tell you enough right there.

Be proud of being who you are. one of my strong points are that I am into history, I keep up with current events, and although I am somewhat young (23) I can talk about anything, have a nice vocab, and I can speak 3 languages.

As far as income, Read my past post. I've been as broke as anyone on this forum, to being probably one of the most financially successful people here at a very young age. And you know what? Believe it or not, I mean most women CARE but not as much as you think. most women just want to know they aren't going to be living out of a trash can. You have the few girls who are just Gold Diggers, but I don't touch them anyway.

One woman who is 10 years older than me, who is from the UK, who to me is SMOKIN hot, she's a part time attress, very intelligent, like me can speak more than one lanague just got out of a long relationship with a guy who makes about 2k a month.. and lives in LA. And she loves him to death. he is living his dream, and I have met the guy before, he is happy. that is what all matters. the money is great and it has it's perks, but as I get older, I'm happy knowing I do what I love. I can't see how some peole kill themselves eeryday going to work, living for the weekend.

but the negatives that are truly negatives, write them down and work on them. don't mask, fix. I was overweight, so I got in shape. I've always been smart but there was alot of things I did not know, so I learned them. I had not been out side the country, so I took a 6 month mini tour of the world.


really, just work on yourself until you are happy until what you see. learn how to dress. take up a hobby. Take up two.

 

[Doc Dogg]

I'm with backbreaker on this one, don't try and mask your negatives, fix them. Plus, there is no need to make all the bad things about you a point of discussion, unless you want to make the girls turn and run.

When I was studying at university, I was lucky to have more than church change in my pockets. I was in my mid 20's, living at home and I had no car...but was it a problem? Hell no, I got more trim at uni than I have ever had in my life.

The reason why is because all the girls had such a good time just being around me that they didn't care about any of the material stuff. I went out with a fine young nursing student for about 6 months before she even found out my last name...All she was worried about was that I could make her *** 4 or 5 times before she had even taken her pants off and when she wore a skirt or a dress...lets just say her friends called me the "ventriloquist"

 

[backbreaker]

me... I'm not not tiny, but I'm not the tallest person on earth either (5'8). I don't have the deepest voice on earth. In fact I don't like my voice at all. But I guess it works. I am African American and most of the women I date (not on purposes) or have sex with are white, that can be an issue in itself if I let it, but it rarely is, as a matter of fact I think it works in my favor. I am very irritable and people who don't know me take this as me being arrogant

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I dont think it's necessary to discuss negatives on the first dates because you dont want to instill a frame that something is wrong with you - if you want to make a powerful impression then you cant show weakness or hang your dirty laundry out. So, raise this on a second date - chances are, you probably wont last part a first date in many cases anyway, so why worry about spilling the beans unless there is something more serious.

 

[FoolsCause]

I have to live at home for the time being because I'm saddled with credit card debt from emergency room expenses. I want to get a job and payoff the debt, then I can move. Bankruptcy isn't an option because I have too many assets, and the new bankruptcy laws suck anyways. Also, I think rent is about the biggest waste of money. I'd much rather invest it in coins.

As far as success goes, yes, I witnessed firsthand a couple months ago it's appeal to women. I wore business attire to a temporary job at the mall, and a young, latina cashier girl was basically in love with me, really deer-in-the-headlights, until I told her about some of my negatives, like I don't have another financial services job on the side.