This girl who I've been semi-dating is the type who loves to speak her mind and uses vulgarities quite a lot (got it from her parents). In a casual conversation, she'll call me an "azzhole" if I slightly annoy her or "stupid" if I slip up on something or "ugly" just for the hell of it. I'm sure she doesn't really mean it, it just comes natural to her because she has a dirty mouth to begin with. I don't take any offense to her insults, but it just bugs me-- So is there a safe way to disarm her when she says an insult?
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How to disarm insults?
- Thread starter bigbag
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
apocalypse later
Don Juan
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There's little you can do to reverse these. I've tried thinking up C+F things to say, but when they're simply plain insults, they're difficult to counter.
Really, the best thing you can do is just say "Don't say that again" in a serious manner. If she doesn't stop, next her.
Really, the best thing you can do is just say "Don't say that again" in a serious manner. If she doesn't stop, next her.
ObieJuan
Senior Don Juan
"Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
try to joke about it and give her a hint that it isn't appreciated. If she doesn't let up then just be honest and tell her not to talk to you like that because it's disrespectful. Teach that chick some manners...even then I probably wouldn't keep her because she probably has numerous other issues, anyway.
try to joke about it and give her a hint that it isn't appreciated. If she doesn't let up then just be honest and tell her not to talk to you like that because it's disrespectful. Teach that chick some manners...even then I probably wouldn't keep her because she probably has numerous other issues, anyway.
bigbag said:
If it bugs you, then you're taking offense. Same thing
You give power to an insult by choosing to pay attention to it. Without your permission, an insult is powerless.
Personally, I'd laugh at it and start calling her a hoe
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
^^^^^^
I agree with all of it
I agree with all of it
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
The best way to break her of this habit is to mimic her behavior to let her see how crass she sounds.
Next time she does it just say something like "Aren't you cute, you silly little tw@t"
When she looks at you like you're nuts and gives you hell just tell her you want her to see how she sounds when she does it to you. Grin playfully when you say this to her...but do it every time she does it. You only have to tell her once why you're doing it. If anything will stop her from doing it, this will.
Next time she does it just say something like "Aren't you cute, you silly little tw@t"
When she looks at you like you're nuts and gives you hell just tell her you want her to see how she sounds when she does it to you. Grin playfully when you say this to her...but do it every time she does it. You only have to tell her once why you're doing it. If anything will stop her from doing it, this will.