This girl who I've been semi-dating is the type who loves to speak her mind and uses vulgarities quite a lot (got it from her parents). In a casual conversation, she'll call me an "azzhole" if I slightly annoy her or "stupid" if I slip up on something or "ugly" just for the hell of it. I'm sure she doesn't really mean it, it just comes natural to her because she has a dirty mouth to begin with. I don't take any offense to her insults, but it just bugs me-- So is there a safe way to disarm her when she says an insult?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
How to disarm insults?
- Thread starter bigbag
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
apocalypse later
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2007
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There's little you can do to reverse these. I've tried thinking up C+F things to say, but when they're simply plain insults, they're difficult to counter.
Really, the best thing you can do is just say "Don't say that again" in a serious manner. If she doesn't stop, next her.
Really, the best thing you can do is just say "Don't say that again" in a serious manner. If she doesn't stop, next her.
ObieJuan
Senior Don Juan
"Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
try to joke about it and give her a hint that it isn't appreciated. If she doesn't let up then just be honest and tell her not to talk to you like that because it's disrespectful. Teach that chick some manners...even then I probably wouldn't keep her because she probably has numerous other issues, anyway.
try to joke about it and give her a hint that it isn't appreciated. If she doesn't let up then just be honest and tell her not to talk to you like that because it's disrespectful. Teach that chick some manners...even then I probably wouldn't keep her because she probably has numerous other issues, anyway.
bigbag said:
If it bugs you, then you're taking offense. Same thing
You give power to an insult by choosing to pay attention to it. Without your permission, an insult is powerless.
Personally, I'd laugh at it and start calling her a hoe
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
^^^^^^
I agree with all of it
I agree with all of it
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
The best way to break her of this habit is to mimic her behavior to let her see how crass she sounds.
Next time she does it just say something like "Aren't you cute, you silly little tw@t"
When she looks at you like you're nuts and gives you hell just tell her you want her to see how she sounds when she does it to you. Grin playfully when you say this to her...but do it every time she does it. You only have to tell her once why you're doing it. If anything will stop her from doing it, this will.
Next time she does it just say something like "Aren't you cute, you silly little tw@t"
When she looks at you like you're nuts and gives you hell just tell her you want her to see how she sounds when she does it to you. Grin playfully when you say this to her...but do it every time she does it. You only have to tell her once why you're doing it. If anything will stop her from doing it, this will.