How to develop a tougher and less "nice" image?

[John_Smith]

It seems like I have always had a problem with this.
I am not un I believe that most girls label me a "nice"(nerds kinda the wrong word because I've had girls like me) just because I am smart and do well at school. I mean, I still have had girls like me, so its not that I'm unattractive but I just detest beinging viewed as so nice and innocent.

I don't really comprehend how i get stereotyped into that. I dont carry reading books around, I reasonable well well built and am pretty funny. I do not dress the way nerdy people do.

Instead, I'd rather develop a tougher and less good image. I won't do drugs or anything illegal, but i'd really want to lose the "nice" and "innocent" image. I thought about doing muay thai (i'm well trained no worries).


What do you suggest I do?

 

[Sometimes]

Well the people you hang around defines what sort of person you are.

For instance, I wanted to be more like a businessman, so I joined Toastmasters and a business club. I wanted to be more manly, I joined a gym full of muscel heads. I wanted to socialize more, I made some friends that went out alot. I wanted to be more aggressive, I did maui tai.

Now for me, talking to CEO's is normal. Skinny-weakass people are abnormal. Going out isnt an issue anymore *I used to be hardcore introverted*. Standing up for myself is normal. *I used to be a hardcore wuss*

Not bad for a 'nerd' eh?

The change is slow and gradual, but its REAL change.

So decide upon this 'less nice' image and immerse yourself in the apporiate envirnment

 

[Alpine]

^^^ good point.

You become like the people you are around, you change your values and attitudes over time. So you become that, not just categorised by your social group.

I suspect getting approval of that social group when you initially try to connect with them is the hard bit.

After all they probably thought you were the skinny weakass and abnormal when you first started getting to know them. How did you find it and how did you react to it?

 

[Jariel]

What you really should be asking is "How can I become tougher?"

You see, if it's just an image, you'll just be another wannabe and will fall flat as soon as you are challenged.

I used to have the same issue - people saw me as the sweet, harmless nice guy with no sex appeal.

The way I became tougher was through lifting weights. I'm a very academic person too, and I'm also a caring and polite person, but people instantly recognise me as a man now. Guys respect me and I ooze a lot of sex appeal to women (according to what I'm told and what I've experienced).

Weight lifting (and good diet) causes a rise in testosterone, which gives you a bolder feeling and a more masculine state of mind. And being in good physical form does wonders for how you feel about yourself.

I started the following thread when I first started bodybuilding as I was so astounded by the benefits I gained from it. Hopefully you can find some motivation from it.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=61926