You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
lol the IRS means "I'm really sexy" joke.iqqi said:
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I'm glad that you came to this on your own. Now before you start re-acting, have you even identified what wasn't right about the date? Stop trying to fix something before you've even identified the problem.My Name is Nobody said:
Now that's funny!My Name is Nobody said:
Francisco d'Anconia said:
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
LovelyLady said:
And don't YOU deserve a woman who can treat you with the basic respect a coffee date meeting commands? :cheer: Of course you do!My Name is Nobody said:
Where should I start..... Question for 'ya, how did you go about pre-qualifying this woman? What did you do to make you decide that she was someone that you wanting to spend time with?My Name is Nobody said:
LovelyLady said:
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
It is what it is. Qualify.My Name is Nobody said:
Francisco d'Anconia said:
So, she had looks. Sounds like that was all that she had going for her, at least that was all that came through during your meeting. If that's all that you go for be ready to be the one who carried the date. Unless you meet and go directly to the bedroom expect to get out of your meetings the same things as you got from this one if you don't look for additional things to sustain it.My Name is Nobody said:
That's why I made this thread, I knew chemistry was going to be an issue. But that never stopped me before. I met a computer programmer a few years ago we had NOTHING in common, but she wanted sex and she told me that basically. It was sooo funny we had sex and then SHE left, like the guy usually does. I was like WTF???!?Francisco d'Anconia said:
So what are you going to do differently on the street which you wouldn't do online? You see a woman, you get her attenion, gain rapport, build comfort, qualify, escalate, etc... Why do you think that your outcomes are going to be any different?My Name is Nobody said:
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Francisco d'Anconia said:
I've found that most men put more due diligence into determining how to create a quality fantasy football team than into determining what is needed in a quality partner. :nervous:My Name is Nobody said:
For gitz and shiggles I searched the forum for threads that were specifically about qualifying. Surprisingly (or maybe not) there was only a handful. I guess this is why a lot of guys get into so much trouble, the choose to walk into a burning building just because the door was open. :nervous:Francisco d'Anconia said:
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.