"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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How to deal with this rejection?

Firefly

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I went out with a girl a couple of times. There were some initial signs of interest, but I could feel myself entering the Friendzone very quickly. The last time we went out, she froze when I went for a kiss close, and then cancelled on another date we had scheduled later this week. I cut off contact with her for ten days. She then was the one of the first people to turn up to an event I organised, and spent much of the evening chatting to me. However, she left with a guy whom I now know she had started seeing a few days ago. The next day, I went out with a daytrip with 40+ people, and she turned up with her now boyfriend. He spent the whole day glued next to her, and she seemed to be avoiding talking to me when he was around. The one time he was away, she came by and we chatted like normal.

I am now trying to work out how I should react to this rejection. I am happy to admit I feel hurt that she turned me down, especially since the guy she decided to go with is a bit of loser. So my initial reaction is to next her and freeze her entirely out of my life. This could have some impact on her, as I organise a lot of the social events for our group so freezing her out would mean she would get frozen out by the group. At the same time, I have to admit she has not done anything wrong - For example, when it became obvious I was interested in her, she refused to let me pay for her when we went out, and she still makes an effort to chat to me as a friend.

So what is the DJ approach? Should I next her and remove her from my life, or keep things going as normal and still extend the same social invitations to her as I do for every other member of the group?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Chromeo

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you do nothing... Her talking to you is validation to other women. She was not interested you, so what. You set up social events? you should be meeting hundreds of women. There is nothing wrong with having female friends (female friends are not friends you hang out with on the couch, they are public acquaintances)
 

Firefly

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Chromeo said:
you do nothing... Her talking to you is validation to other women. She was not interested you, so what. You set up social events? you should be meeting hundreds of women. There is nothing wrong with having female friends (female friends are not friends you hang out with on the couch, they are public acquaintances)
True, although a lot of the events are somewhat "exclusive" in that there are limited amount of tickets which I give away for free to the group (such as for movie premieres, dance shows, that sort of thing). I guess I am wondering whether this would be seen as supplicating behaviour if I continue to make these tickets available to her (especially as I have been guilty of making sure she always got tickets in the past when I was trying to get to know her).
 

Chromeo

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oh ya, dont waste your free tickets on her. You should be giving these tickets to potential future business associates and women who have not passed on you.

soon you will get, if you havent already "can I get two tickets, one for my boyfriend"

if she shows up, sure be friendly, but you should have way too many other people that are more deserving of these tickets then a girl you went on three dates with.
 
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