"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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How to deal with seeing past one-itus with another dude?

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Forty0ztoFreedom

Senior Don Juan
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Well it turns out this may happen to me at a Halloween party. I feel a little AFC about it, but I'm fighting it. Does anyone have any tips on how to make the best of this? I don't want to be watching through the corner of my eyes the whole night, or pretending to ignore the whole night, or thinking about what others are thinking ("Oh poor him, she came with another guy! What a poor bastard!") Basically I don't want to be a chump, I am fvcking tired of being this way.

I feel a pull to be depressed about it and to start worrying about it. (This is how my negative thinking starts. I "feel" something so it must be real and I must dwell on it, and anything else is just me "faking it" so I must ruminate over and over again ..)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Forty0ztoFreedom

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Screw it. Nevermind. I already feel better. Its getting easier to fight off these waves of AFC.
 
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brian123

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Good for you dude. It's tough, but keep your head up high. It is her loss. You never know. Everyone might be thinking "poor her" the guy she is with isnt half as good as her ex
 
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The Bat

Master Don Juan
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Yo dude, I'm glad you figured it out for yourself. But I'm going to give you tips in case you need them.

Don't fight the feeling you have for your one-itis. Best thing to do would be to ACKNOWLEDGE it. That's right. Just ACCEPT it. Know that it's there. Be self-aware.

BUT don't act on it.

Another way to deal with those feelings is to evaluate yourself. Think about where you were and how you were when you were chasing your one-itis. Now, think about where you are right now and how you are. Do you notice a difference? What kind of difference? More importantly, are you happy with the difference?

If you are happy, then you can take your mind off it. And you can flirt with other girls or just have a good time with your friends at the party. Know that some people might bring up the one-itis...don't ignore them...use that situation to your advantage by showing off how secure you are now...use C&F or make a joke out of it.

Show them that you aren't afraid to accept who you were and aren't afraid to show who you are now.

Let us know how it goes.
 
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