LJC
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2001
- Messages
- 165
- Reaction score
- 17
For many men, the build-up to sex can be just too damn arousing and exciting, which for them can cause ejaculation within only a couple of short minutes after penetration, at the point of penetration or sometimes before penetration even occurs. Next comes the feeling of being an inadequate lover and a disappointment to women. This, of course, is followed by desperate measures to find a solution to the problem, which typically involves thinking about baseball or some other topic completely unrelated to sex so that he may last longer.
Trust me, I know all about it. I've been there a hundred times myself. But eventually I came to realize that the problem for me was never premature ejaculation and the solution wasn't baseball. The problem was the mental state I was in up to the point of orgasm compared to the mental state I was in immediately after. They were two completely different frames of mind. I went from sex sex sex to feelings of inadequacy and shame. It was this transition during the act of sex that left me limp and ultimately disappointed myself and my sexual partners.
I eventually figured out, however, that the solution wasn't to work so hard on preventing these premature ejaculations but to increase the level of my sexual mentality after the act. Instead of stressing about what just happened, I decided to find ways to keep my sexual arousal and excitement in my head high enough after an orgasm so I could continue on with having sex. Naturally, trying to have a second orgasm after the first takes a bit longer, which is usually enough time for your partner to find satisfaction.
After a while, I started to notice the premature issue started taking care of itself. It stopped happening as often. But even to this day I still have these premature orgasms once in a while, though they're no longer the problem they used to be. It is now just a nice little bonus. In fact, many of the women I sleep with are VERY impressed that I can keep going. They're so used to guys rolling over and calling it quits after the first orgasm (even if it did take these guys 10 minutes to get there), which is the only reason these women were disappointed at all. Now they don't care if I might have popped too quick -- because they know I'm not done yet. They know there's plenty more coming (pun intended). They call me a machine. They tell me I'm unique. It sets me apart from other men they've slept with. And they like it.
That all being said, here are a few tips to help you avoid some of the hurdles and mistakes I made through this transformation:
1) DO NOT keep going while wearing a condom you have already ejaculated into. Change it out for a fresh one. The motion of sex will push your semen (which is a lubricant) from the tip of the condom down along the sides of your penis. The condom WILL come off. I learned this one laying on a bed while my girlfriend was in the bathroom for 15 minutes trying to fish it out. I got VERY lucky that day.
2) Once in a while you can get this quick ejaculation out of the way with oral sex beforehand, but don't get too comfortable with this one approach. Mix it up with hand-jobs and other forms of foreplay. Some women even like to watch you masturbate for them. Just remember that making anything at all a routine every time you have sex will get very old very quickly for a woman. You do not want to be boring and predictable.
3) DO NOT apologize if once in a while you just can't find it in you to keep going. It happens on occasion. The worst thing you can do is let those feelings of inadequacy back into your head. The BEST thing you can do in these situations is to tell the girl that you need her help to get going again. She won't mind. In fact, she'll be curious. This is a perfect opportunity to enrich your sex life by getting your girl to do new things, play out your fantasies and so forth. Just keep it within reason at first. You don't want to open up the floodgates of freakishness on her, which can scare her away.
Trust me, I know all about it. I've been there a hundred times myself. But eventually I came to realize that the problem for me was never premature ejaculation and the solution wasn't baseball. The problem was the mental state I was in up to the point of orgasm compared to the mental state I was in immediately after. They were two completely different frames of mind. I went from sex sex sex to feelings of inadequacy and shame. It was this transition during the act of sex that left me limp and ultimately disappointed myself and my sexual partners.
I eventually figured out, however, that the solution wasn't to work so hard on preventing these premature ejaculations but to increase the level of my sexual mentality after the act. Instead of stressing about what just happened, I decided to find ways to keep my sexual arousal and excitement in my head high enough after an orgasm so I could continue on with having sex. Naturally, trying to have a second orgasm after the first takes a bit longer, which is usually enough time for your partner to find satisfaction.
After a while, I started to notice the premature issue started taking care of itself. It stopped happening as often. But even to this day I still have these premature orgasms once in a while, though they're no longer the problem they used to be. It is now just a nice little bonus. In fact, many of the women I sleep with are VERY impressed that I can keep going. They're so used to guys rolling over and calling it quits after the first orgasm (even if it did take these guys 10 minutes to get there), which is the only reason these women were disappointed at all. Now they don't care if I might have popped too quick -- because they know I'm not done yet. They know there's plenty more coming (pun intended). They call me a machine. They tell me I'm unique. It sets me apart from other men they've slept with. And they like it.
That all being said, here are a few tips to help you avoid some of the hurdles and mistakes I made through this transformation:
1) DO NOT keep going while wearing a condom you have already ejaculated into. Change it out for a fresh one. The motion of sex will push your semen (which is a lubricant) from the tip of the condom down along the sides of your penis. The condom WILL come off. I learned this one laying on a bed while my girlfriend was in the bathroom for 15 minutes trying to fish it out. I got VERY lucky that day.
2) Once in a while you can get this quick ejaculation out of the way with oral sex beforehand, but don't get too comfortable with this one approach. Mix it up with hand-jobs and other forms of foreplay. Some women even like to watch you masturbate for them. Just remember that making anything at all a routine every time you have sex will get very old very quickly for a woman. You do not want to be boring and predictable.
3) DO NOT apologize if once in a while you just can't find it in you to keep going. It happens on occasion. The worst thing you can do is let those feelings of inadequacy back into your head. The BEST thing you can do in these situations is to tell the girl that you need her help to get going again. She won't mind. In fact, she'll be curious. This is a perfect opportunity to enrich your sex life by getting your girl to do new things, play out your fantasies and so forth. Just keep it within reason at first. You don't want to open up the floodgates of freakishness on her, which can scare her away.
