How to deal with people from the PAST?

[Babnik]

If in the past you were different and you are forced to hang out with people from that past.

Its easy to be your new self with new people because its how they see you for the first time and its how the perceive you.

However, when people from the past come around its hard to be your NEW self because they will say "You changed!" or something like that and that phrase is like saying "You SUCKED" and its like a knife stab. Do you say "I am different now" and its like admitting "Yes, I did suck". How do you get around it?

With new people I am so cool but with my HS people I am like internally forced to act like I used to so that I DON'T seem different.

 

[The_Wolf]

Why do you think they will say that the change sucks? Change can also be good, and its their problem if they don't see that you changed into a better person. Stick to which "character" you feel more comfortable in, and if its something they are not familiar with, they'll just have to get used to it. Be true to yourself man.

 

[Babnik]

Why do you think they will say that the change sucks? Change can also be good, and its their problem if they don't see that you changed into a better person. Stick to which "character" you feel more comfortable in, and if its something they are not familiar with, they'll just have to get used to it. Be true to yourself man.

No, they change is GOOD, but that means that I USED to suck. So, them saying that I am now BETTER means that back in the days I used to suck and I don't want to admit that to them!!!

 

[banGbro]

I used to suck. Its not a secret. Now, I walk right past like I have a 16 inch **** hanging out of my pants and raised up by a string. I dont give a fvck what they think.


Its easy to live in the past. The here and now is what counts.


You brought it up for a reason, this is something you have to work on. By the way, people dont give a sh1t if you are different, that thought is a common misconception, kind of like girl will hit you with a bottle over head if you approach. Be your today self, fvck yesterday and tomorrow.

 

[Babnik]

I used to suck. Its not a secret. Now, I walk right past like I have a 16 inch **** hanging out of my pants and raised up by a string. I dont give a fvck what they think.


Its easy to live in the past. The here and now is what counts.


You brought it up for a reason, this is something you have to work on. By the way, people dont give a sh1t if you are different, that thought is a common misconception, kind of like girl will hit you with a bottle over head if you approach. Be your today self, fvck yesterday and tomorrow.

You are missing the point...

They LIKE me now, but the fact that I have to admit that I used to suck bothers me because I don't want to do that.

I didn't suck nor was I ever a loser, but I was always quiet and disinterested in women. I was never nice.

I blew off like 10 girls in HS because I was shy.

Not anymore!

So, those same girls see me now in a different perspective and they SAY "You were so shy! What happened?"

And I don't like to admit that I was shy and I don't know what to say.

They are not saying it with a negative attitude, but a very interested one.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Get use to the fact that mediocre people will snipe at people who the believe have achieved more than them. The will neg-hit just to bring you down to their lever (yep, guys can get neg-hit too). You just need to determine what type of reaction works best with your new personality. You can choose either to accept, deflect or return their hit; the choice is yours.

 

[banGbro]

I didn't suck nor was I ever a loser, but I was always quiet and disinterested in women. I was never nice.

Its like Snoop Dogg saying I dont smoke weed.


You dont have to admit anything to them, just admit to yourself that you sucked, and was a fvcking looser, and maybe a little gay, and not nice.


In HS a chick tried to talked to me. She had braces, and when she opened her mouth I litterally jumped away. :crackup:

If I meet her today, well laught about it. Then have a drink and laught some more. Then fvck.

 

[Babnik]

Its like Snoop Dogg saying I dont smoke weed.


You dont have to admit anything to them, just admit to yourself that you sucked, and was a fvcking looser, and maybe a little gay, and not nice.


In HS a chick tried to talked to me. She had braces, and when she opened her mouth I litterally jumped away. :crackup:

If I meet her today, well laught about it. Then have a drink and laught some more. Then fvck.

Well, I had hot chicks talk to me, flirt with me, but I was shy. I guess I wasn't a loser who attracted hot chicks and had the most popular girl have a crush on me (which I ignored too) and you were a loser who attracted girls with braces.

See, being an AFC isn't always the reason why someone doesn't HAVE women, it doesn't mean he can't get them.

Being shy doesn't mean being an AFC, remember that.

 

[banGbro]

So, you are a recovering AFC, gotcha. Youre a stuck up, and any DJ with a brain will agree with me after reading your sh1t in this thread. You are also weak and afraid of the truth.

 

[danielzxc]

Hey Babnik, that sounds almost exactly like my story man.

People don't understand. It's damn HARD when you see faces from the past who knew you as a different person. And it's hard because they KNOW you were diferent then, and you know it, but it's very hard to admit it.

Best way I found to deal with it is to say, yeah, I guess you're right, I am a bit different, and just blow it off in a casual manner like it's no big deal.

Usually, that is enough. Sometimes, you get people that insist on talking about your change. Like I had this friend who I didn't see for a while. When we used to hang out, he was the one with the experience with chicks, and i was the shy guy, and it was obvious ( I mean, we both knew it). After I didn't see him for a while, I had picked up a few babes by then, and had gotten a LOT more comfortable with chicks. He noticed the difference in the way I was talking about girls and he goes to me with a grin, wow you've changed, in a really sarcastic kind of way. I did the "blow it off line" as I described above. But this guy was determined to make a big deal out of it, and goes, but man, i KNOW you, and you're not usually like that, what happened? Really, what he was implying is "you're this big loser I used to know, and I think you are STILL that same loser, so wtf are you doing talking like you're some big stud now?" But I just played it casual with, oh well, you know man, sometimes people change, you know how it goes. I didn't give him the satifsaction at all. Really, what he probably wanted me to do was go all read in the face and admit that yeah, it's all just some big act on my part, or something like that.

What REALLY made him realize how different I was when he saw with a good looking girl. That is the best way to prove things are different. Same with fighting. You can TALK until the cows come home about how tough you are, but when someone SEES you knock somebody out (or even just put up a solid fight, even if you lose), that is what shuts people's mouths.

 

[Holland]

I would say, just don't care.

This is who you are NOW. If they don't like it they can leave. If they mention it, just say: "Thanks." Take it as a compliment that you're moving in the right direction. Since that is exactly what it is.

 

[DJF or John]

Babnik you make a lot of posts you know that, lol?

First off, if you changed your OUTER appearance you should have FIRST changed your INNER appearance.

Your thoughts, mindsets, beliefs.

What you are having is an insecurity problem, which really means, that you haven't really CHANGED at all....rather, you just put on some "new" clothes. It's the pouring old wine into new bottles think.

Redo your mind, you shouldn't be having insecurities like this.

"Other People" outside of the network that YOU HAVE chosen to hang with, shouldn't even matter to you AT ALL.

Do some re-programming of your mind, please.