LionFox
Don Juan
For the first time in more than six months, I felt what I would call a "paralyzing attraction"-- a sense of attraction so strong that it totally blows your calm, you feel it in your gut, butterflies or a sickness in your stomach, you are helpless against it. It's that state where you feel an overwhelming sense of attraction and it locks you up.
Two things about it.. If you are an AFC or a recovering AFC, you've probably experienced it alot, and often, toward a lot of different women that most likely you hardly even know! As you adopt the DJ mindset, you should feel it less and less because you've learned to control your attraction levels. In fact, if you are a don juan, I would say the only time you should be hit this hard is if you happen to have a chance encounter with a former oneitious, which was what happened to me.
So here's what happen: I'm face to face with oneitious, feeling that paralyzing attraction, and I dealt with it and returned back to calm and suave in about 2 minutes. Here's how..
Recogonize what you are feeling. Identify the emotions associated with it. Identify what these emotions are trying to tell you, and then alter your state, actions, or perceptions accordingly.
For me, I recogonize three emotions making up this paralyzing attraction. They were
Attraction
Fear
Anxiety
Attraction: If you feel attraction, it is an emotion, a hardwired body response telling you "Approach you stupid bastard! Approach!" That's right, it's a signal you get when you own body is trying to tell you to not be a wussy. So, in order to deal with the emotion of attraction, all you need to do is lean in to it. Enjoy it. Don't fight it or be ashamed of it. It's your body telling you it's time to approach, to get out there and be a DJ, so relax into the feeling and enjoy it.
Fear: If the attraction is strong enough, you'll feel fear as well. This is your body saying "Be prepared for what is about to happen." You can strike down fear by asking this simply question. "Am I ready to handle this now?" And you answer should be YES you are! You're a DJ goddamn it, you've been hours online studying seduction and women. If anyone in the room is prepared to approach, it should be you of all people.
Anxiety: Anxiety is the killer of the three. It is rooted in a emotions of unworthiness. You feel anxiety because in the back of your mind you are asking "Will she like me? What if she doesn't?" Every one should know that you do not ask yourself thoses questions consciously anymore.. but if you are feeling anxiety, you are still asking them subconsciously. So you need to break your state. Either focus on asking questions like 'I wonder if I will like her" or "I wonder if she's fun" or totally mentally blow yourself up and lose all selfconsciousness. I opt for the latter. When I feel anxiety, I mentally blow myself up by singing the words to that Nelly song "Pimp Juice" in my head. "She only wants me for my pimp juice/ I think I better let it loose/" Pretty soon, I don't feel self consciousness anymore!
I used this technique and got myself calm and open again in about 2 minutes. After that I had a realization:
On the occassions in the last 6 months where when I locked up and failed to approach, it wasn't because I was feeling paralyizing attraction. I was feeling much less attraction and much less anxiety and still used it as an excuse to wimp out. If you've been failing to make a approach, you may be locked in a pattern of not approaching. This tip absolutely works, and if you can deal with an overwhelming sense of strong attraction and return to being calm, you have no excuse to wimp out and not approach when you are feeling a tinge of anxiety and attraction!
Two things about it.. If you are an AFC or a recovering AFC, you've probably experienced it alot, and often, toward a lot of different women that most likely you hardly even know! As you adopt the DJ mindset, you should feel it less and less because you've learned to control your attraction levels. In fact, if you are a don juan, I would say the only time you should be hit this hard is if you happen to have a chance encounter with a former oneitious, which was what happened to me.
So here's what happen: I'm face to face with oneitious, feeling that paralyzing attraction, and I dealt with it and returned back to calm and suave in about 2 minutes. Here's how..
Recogonize what you are feeling. Identify the emotions associated with it. Identify what these emotions are trying to tell you, and then alter your state, actions, or perceptions accordingly.
For me, I recogonize three emotions making up this paralyzing attraction. They were
Attraction
Fear
Anxiety
Attraction: If you feel attraction, it is an emotion, a hardwired body response telling you "Approach you stupid bastard! Approach!" That's right, it's a signal you get when you own body is trying to tell you to not be a wussy. So, in order to deal with the emotion of attraction, all you need to do is lean in to it. Enjoy it. Don't fight it or be ashamed of it. It's your body telling you it's time to approach, to get out there and be a DJ, so relax into the feeling and enjoy it.
Fear: If the attraction is strong enough, you'll feel fear as well. This is your body saying "Be prepared for what is about to happen." You can strike down fear by asking this simply question. "Am I ready to handle this now?" And you answer should be YES you are! You're a DJ goddamn it, you've been hours online studying seduction and women. If anyone in the room is prepared to approach, it should be you of all people.
Anxiety: Anxiety is the killer of the three. It is rooted in a emotions of unworthiness. You feel anxiety because in the back of your mind you are asking "Will she like me? What if she doesn't?" Every one should know that you do not ask yourself thoses questions consciously anymore.. but if you are feeling anxiety, you are still asking them subconsciously. So you need to break your state. Either focus on asking questions like 'I wonder if I will like her" or "I wonder if she's fun" or totally mentally blow yourself up and lose all selfconsciousness. I opt for the latter. When I feel anxiety, I mentally blow myself up by singing the words to that Nelly song "Pimp Juice" in my head. "She only wants me for my pimp juice/ I think I better let it loose/" Pretty soon, I don't feel self consciousness anymore!
I used this technique and got myself calm and open again in about 2 minutes. After that I had a realization:
On the occassions in the last 6 months where when I locked up and failed to approach, it wasn't because I was feeling paralyizing attraction. I was feeling much less attraction and much less anxiety and still used it as an excuse to wimp out. If you've been failing to make a approach, you may be locked in a pattern of not approaching. This tip absolutely works, and if you can deal with an overwhelming sense of strong attraction and return to being calm, you have no excuse to wimp out and not approach when you are feeling a tinge of anxiety and attraction!