How to deal with mad girlfriend

[JimmyBizzle]

So my girlfriend is mad at me because she thinks my roommates were making fun of her yesterday, when they very much were not, and she is saying that because of this that she doesn't think I will ever stick up for her. The catch is, there was nothing to stand up for her about. There was an innocent joke that was made, that if anything made fun of me, and not her in any way. But she doesn't see it like this at all. She feels horribly insulted and angry at me for not sticking up for her.

Well we've been planning since January to go to a concert tomorrow night with my friends from work that I bought tickets to way in advance, and now she says she doesn't want to go and that I should just take another friend.

How would you guys handle all this?

 

[Bible_Belt]

The 'stick up for me, defend my honor' thing is important to a lot of chicks.

It's not your fault, though, if it is a simple misunderstanding. When she says she does not want to go, run that through the chickspeak translator to interpret, and what she means is that right now she feels like she does not want to go. Be understanding of her feeling of not wanting to go. You could try that until tomorrow, then just go with other friends. But if she sees that you understand how she feels, and don't argue with that feeling, then that is the best way to make her get over it quickly.

Also, never say "get over it," even though that is what we want them to do. Women are often slaves to their feelings; don't fight those feelings, or you just end up fighting with your woman.

 

[JimmyBizzle]

Well like I said, I see it as something completely harmless, but she sees it as something horribly offensive. I don't want to concede or give in to her and tell her she's right just to make her happy, because she isn't and she shouldn't be upset over this. How could I get her to realize this without surrendering all power in the situation?

 

[JimmyBizzle]

Wouldn't mind some quick advice.

 

[DoctorLW]

Man just tell her that they weren't making fun of her. If she chose to misinterpret that and wants to make a big deal of it fine, but your not going to do anything about it since in the end shes making a big deal out of something that didn't even happen. Tell her to take it or leave it, but your not going to apologize for something that happened in her imagination.

I honestly see no reason to handle this situation any differently. Give it to her straight up. If she doesn't believe you or doesn't accept your apology just tell her if she keeps it up soon she'll owe you an apology.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I don't want to concede or give in to her and tell her she's right just to make her happy, because she isn't and she shouldn't be upset over this.

Stop being so logical. You are right as we see it, but that will get you nowhere.

It's about her feelings. She is right that she feels the way she does. You telling her that's illogical will keep you fighting forever. You can disagree logically but still agree and understand her feelings. They are what they are; you can't argue them away.

And remember, I said to only be this way for one night, then just drop her and go have fun without her if she persists in being mad even after you offer to be so understanding. Then you going without her is her fault. This is how women think. I know it does not make sense, but it is what it is.

 

[JimmyBizzle]

Thanks guys, I haven't seen her since we had the argument this morning cause she's been at work. I just texted her and told her that I understand how she's feeling and that I'm sorry she feels that way and that I still want her to go with me tomorrow. I guess I'll just wait and see what happens.

 

[Bible_Belt]

good job. I think you did the right thing.

 

[JimmyBizzle]

Well she says she'll go to the show with me tomorrow and that she loves me, but she also said "Regardless of what I say or feel you still think its silly which is putting a wall between us."

That's all because I won't agree with her, because they weren't making fun of her at all. I don't want to argue this anymore and I don't want to agree with her.

 

[Axcell]

For starters, do NOT apologize to her. DJ's don't tolerate this kind of crap.
Explain to her the situation, tell her you are sorry that she feels that way. You are not apologizing to her, you are apologizing for the way she is feeling. In addition, ask her what you can do about it. There is no point in fighting, it will just be a vicious cycle and neither of you will go anywhere. By asking her what she wants you to do about it, she will realize there is nothing to be done, and she will get over it.

Put it behind you, and try to avoid the subject of that being brought up. It is only as a big deal as you make it..