"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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How to deal with last minute flaking FB chick?

pete101

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i was suppose to meet this facebook chick tonight but she cancelled on me at the last minute with some stupid reason.

i had a feeling it was coming because she kept saying that she'd confirm yesterday night and text me today if something changes..

the thing is she's a poor student and wants to save money on transport costs so it was her idea to meet me in the center of town at a bar before she goes dancing with her friends rather than meet me on another day.

anyway she didn't get back to me and when i tried to confirm she said she couldn't do it and had to fix her bike??

i was like WTF?? why does she need to do that until 9pm at night? and since she's going to be coming anyway it made more sense for her to meet me just beforehand but 'apparently' the person who's fixing the bike can only do it in the evening.. sounds like the stupidest reason ever.. but she kept trying to rearrange another time and sounded like she was panicing in her replies..

i have not met her and i have made the mistake of giving grief to these facebook girls before i even met them and ended up not meeting them. so this time i said i wouldn't do that.. but she's put me in an awkward position where if i believe her then i look like a chump..

what do i say to make it clear i don't believe her reasons but if she's willing to offer me another time then i'll accept, or am i suppose to flake on her to counter her flake?

bear in mind i have never met her so that might not be a good idea..
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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schttrj

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FB, you meant facebook, rite? on the whole article, i just made out one thing... u acted needy! if she wants to come, she comes and if she doesnt, better. u can go on to someone else.

just leave it at the moment. let her take the initiative and set up the meeting with u while u just go on showing ur value or class to her with how much u r enjoying ur life, what you did today, who girlfriends coming to u to cook u a dinner, and so on....

keep in touch and wait for her to act on her wishes! this is how naturals play.
 

pete101

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ok so i think i f'd this one up. i decided to call her and cos my phone skills are the worst imaginable i knew that her interest level would probably drop dramatically.

first i asked her about tonight and the reasons.. then said i'd accept it if she made it up to me by offering me another time tomorrow.

then she wouldnt' commit so i said 'well if u gave me the reason u couldn't meet was that u need to fix your bike so to me that sounds a bit strange so the least u can do is offer me another time tomorrow..'

she kept saying she didn't know and i could tell my phone etiquette was making her interest level dropped.. it culminated with me stressing at her and basically saying 'look it seems like you're messing me about so just forget the whole thing' and then i hung up on her.

obviously not very DJ, but how should one handle a situation like this on the phone when a girl is flaking on you and giving you some BS reason as to why..?

i mean she can't expect me to believe she has to stay in to fix her bike till midnight! especially since she's coming down anyway!!
 

schttrj

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lol, just say,"not a very good excuse, anyways i still trust u... tell me when u want to meet up.." thats it. the ball is in her court. man, listen to me. try to be genuine when u r gaming a girl, and never come on too strong or too weak, u hold ur ground, simple. thats what i learnt all these years.
 

DonGorgon

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The flaking game is a big part of womens arsenal now.. Its basically a power play they use to demonstrate indifference and disconnection to test you for weakness and needyness and desperation...

It is very much in style for most girls to flake in the first date on principle.. and intern you must ignore that flake on principle. You win this part of the game by not caring too much and indicating that you have other options..
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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PectoralisMajor

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dongordon is probably right. You messed uo by getting all het-up and hanging up the phone.

Instead, keep more girls on the go and she will be less important.
 

pete101

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DonGorgon said:
The flaking game is a big part of womens arsenal now.. Its basically a power play they use to demonstrate indifference and disconnection to test you for weakness and needyness and desperation...

It is very much in style for most girls to flake in the first date on principle.. and intern you must ignore that flake on principle. You win this part of the game by not caring too much and indicating that you have other options..

sound advice, so I made the major error of getting annoyed. What should I have said to counter her BS answer?

cos looking back now I just got fed up with her stupid reason and trying to get her to commit to tomorrow to make it up to me but I realise now that it wasn't going to win..

what do i say to indicate i dont care and got other options in my case?
 

pete101

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PectoralisMajor said:
dongordon is probably right. You messed uo by getting all het-up and hanging up the phone.

Instead, keep more girls on the go and she will be less important.
so you're saying I should never have called in the first place?

to be honest if i had just left it and dealt with it via facebook i more than likely would have got a rearranged time as it seemed like she was trying desperately to make it up to me.. yet when i get her on the phone her interest level plummets and it's like she contradicts her msgs.

im just useless on the phone, always have and always will be.
 
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