how to deal with ice queens?

[big weezy]

is there some tricks i can use to not let their icy-ness affect me?

their coldness and the way they dont say anything or stay on the fence of questions i ask them, it makes me nervous and lose confidence cos it appears they're not interested. if i make a joke i get a chuckle and a smile but normally i'd get full on laughter. this puts me off and makes me lose confidence and nervous.

story below:

 

[big weezy]

i'm not at a stage where my inner game is bullet proof and i dont have plates yet (working on it).

so here comes today's pick up attempt, she's equally the hottest girl i've picked up in the past few years.. but then again where i live there's loads of stunners walking the streets, but i haven't had an opportunity to pick up that looks like this for a while. in other words i wasn't prepared enough, or confident enough.

basically she was quite passive, stayed on the fence with her answers.. any jokes i made she'd mildly smile or chuckle slightly but no actual laughing.

this intimidated me cos she was completely cold, icey.. it made me lose confidence and she could tell i was getting nervous. shes 28, at an age ready to settle down and in 1 of those state of minds that she knows what she wants etc etc so discounts men immediately based on early impressions etc.

how do you deal with ice queens?

bear in mind she wasn't rude or impolite, just intimidating me. maybe it was a test to filter out the weak men but anything i said she'd answer but it felt like she was just being polite, then when it wen silent and awkward i ran out of things to say and looked away uncomfortably, she asks me what i did for new years. then asked me how i spent my xmas. simple stuff.

normally you'd say a girl is nervous or what not but she basically showed no interest whatsoever from my point of view. i asked her interests. whenever i tried to DHV myself, by talking about how many languages i speak and where i've travelled, i got a muted response. this made me nervous and lose confidence.

i suggested to her we got together to play tennis, not in a 100% confident way. i think she judges me for not having the balls to be direct and ask her out publicly in a coffee place in front of everyone.. and me more feebly suggesting i teach her tennis and her not being so enthusiastic about it showed me it was neither here nor there. i dont feel i stirred up any emotions nor know how to with ice queens.

is there some tricks i can try on b1tch shield girls?

remember she was quite polite, answered everything i said, never gave an indicator of let me get back to reading my magazine.. just literally it seemed i was running the convo and any silences i became uncomfortable and fidgety.

i got the number, but i don't think she's interested. and this is my fault for not having and demonstrating passive value and confidence. i think i care too much about the people around us listening in, it puts me under extra pressure and makes me nervous and unconfident.

 

[JLW]

You need to simply have the attitude that she is no better than you. Because she isn't. This will come across in your body language and the things you say to her.

There really aren't any "shortcuts" to this. You just kind of have to build up self esteem.

If I'm at a bar or club or party and a girl is giving me this attitude i basically just walk away. It's not worth the time to fight an uphill battle when theres probably plenty of other interested chicks in the room. Sometimes if she's giving me a sh1tty attitude I'll give her one right back. Truth be told, I've never pulled a girl after giving her the ****ty attitude back. But I don't feel like playing their stupid games, and it's sort of my way of saying "wow, you seriously need to get over yourself."

You would have done better if you teased her a little bit, but it's hard to say since I wasn't there and it is mere speculation.

 

[big weezy]

but i'm in a coffee bean/coffee place in broad daylight where everyone in the vicinity can hear what i say.. i did check a guy looking at me in awe a bit that i had the balls to number close such a hot HB.. however this means little as i know i didn't create enough attraction.

i just didn't know how to break down her defences.. i negged her a little bit but didn't know what c+f stuff to say without sounding like a little kid (she originally thought i was like 21 when im actually same age as her..)

i felt like from that point i was supplicating and she was the prize.. im not sure how to conduct myself exactly.. i need to definitely not care about the people around listening to the rubbish i say.. i just feel embarassed if i f up.

interestingly the HBs dont notice anyone around them.. they're just fixated on me and my words. i need to adopt that attitude.

but what b1tch shield ice breakers can you make to make them more open?

usually i get them laughing hysterically and that does the trick, but the fact she didn't laugh at my jokes concerned me cos usually they're money.

 

[bluenorther]

Considering she's like this for most people, it probably cuts down on her social situation immensely. Even if she meets an uber-Alpha Male, she's not likely to stay interested for long. Probably he'd ditch her for being so boring.
Accept that she has lousy social skills-- maybe worse than your own, even, and play the lead whenever you're around her. Tell yourself that you're teaching HER how to have a real life, which she probably doesn't.

I have/had a lovely client who's a genuine ice queen. What's interesting is how people were telling me from Day One that I should ask her out.
She doesn't have a real life.

I hadn't discovered the PUA community, so I had no idea how to approach her. One thing that held me back was that she'd been working in her business for years, and I was just starting out.
By the time I felt like I was a peer-equal to her, I also had found David D and Ross J, so I decided to use her for practice. After all, I wouldn't get anywhere with her.
Wrong! We ended up on a number of dates, more like appointments, really. It would be impossible to pull her back to either of our places. I was getting attached to her, too. She's actually a very sweet person.
One time, saying our Goodnights, I confessed how I'd had to make some mental adjustments before I could ask her out.
Her response blew me away, she simply asked "What for?"
That's when it hit me, the lesson the PUAs all try to teach us is that the ultimate *game* is when you no longer NEED *game*. In her eyes, I was already there!
Sometimes I run into the same lack of confidence you feel, when I have to tackle a job I'm not sure about. I keep telling myself "I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS". It always turns out okay.
My client turned into a crash&burn finally, and today she barely talks to me. I no longer work for her, either; long story. I still bust on her and make jokes, which she doesn't respond to. The owner of the place told me, she's like that for everyone. He and his wife tried to invite her to dinner, since they're neighbors, and she declined.
What it does for me is, I feel a lot more comfortable now around her. She feels less comfortable. I think she wonders what's coming out of my mouth next. I haven't learned how to be "On" whenever she's around, so I'm always thinking of something witty after it's too late. I don't always remember to use it the next time, either. It's fun to mess with her, since she's so proper and dignified all the time; I want to see what it takes to get a rise out of her. One time, she came by the arena, leading her horse and carrying her little riding whip. I said, "Mmm S___, you don't know what that does to me!" She looked puzzled, and I said, "The whip!" She didn't respond. I do that kind of thing whenever possible.
I'm not shy around her, either. I'll move up against her, talk close to her face, give hugs and whatnot. Most ice queens don't mind this; just don't go pawing on them.

 

[JLW]

Well it seems like this girl wasn't particularly rude to you or anything, just kind of passive. You were picking up on her overall lack of enthusiasm towards you, and this bothered you. My advice is to simply not let it bother you. It's not YOU that's the problem. You're cracking jokes and being friendly and outgoing. SHE is the one who is not responding well to you.

Now, I'm sure more experienced DJ's on this forum can give you advice on how to build interest and get the girls talking a little bit, but in my experience, the harder I try to "salvage up a conversation" with a girl who is being tight-lipped and passive, the more I feel like I'm beating a dead horse, and we're wasting each other's time.

If a girl is interested in you, she WILL engage you. She'll make it easy for you to talk to her. She'll be enthusiastic towards you.

To reiterate, you need to have the attitude that you are the cool guy, and she is in the wrong for not responding to you as such. If you have this mindset, she's more likely to open up to you, but I can't say with any certainty.

 

[big weezy]

i have to add some more info.

i currently live in the richest part of town in one of the worlds forefront cities and there are stunning women left right and center which would make u think that there's more than enough girls to go round however there are more than enough guys competing for the same women and these women only go out with the super rich alpha male types in the area who have the pick of the women. it's hard to compete in that same environment which is whyi go for the student girls normally cos though they're looking for the same thing ultimately they're younger and not looking to settle down yet.

she was just intimidating. and it is a good test i can see to weed out the weak males.

we'll see, i'll try to arrange tennis with her next week but i have a feeling she'll just flake or whatever.

the impression i get from her she split from her bf last year and spent new years eve with her girls going to a club for 40 mins then going home for a girly chat to complain about why there are no good guys out there etc.

maybe me coming in today when i did is like a new years resolution for her, maybe ordinarily she'd be rude.. who knows.

 

[big weezy]

i have to add some more info.

i currently live in the richest part of town in one of the worlds forefront cities and there are stunning women left right and center which would make u think that there's more than enough girls to go round however there are more than enough guys competing for the same women and these women only go out with the super rich alpha male types in the area who have the pick of the women. it's hard to compete in that same environment which is whyi go for the student girls normally cos though they're looking for the same thing ultimately they're younger and not looking to settle down yet.

she was just intimidating. and it is a good test i can see to weed out the weak males.

we'll see, i'll try to arrange tennis with her next week but i have a feeling she'll just flake or whatever.

the impression i get from her she split from her bf last year and spent new years eve with her girls going to a club for 40 mins then going home for a girly chat to complain about why there are no good guys out there etc.

maybe me coming in today when i did is like a new years resolution for her, maybe ordinarily she'd be rude.. who knows.