How to Deal with "I Have a Boyfriend"

[spinaroonie]

So my buddy and I hit up a lounge patronized mostly by a college crowd. We're seated at one end of a booth. 2 cute 19 year olds ask if they can sit at the other end - the only seated areas available at the club. We say sure.

I chat up one girl, buddy chats up the other.

Get good rapport going. About 15 min in, buddy's girl wants to leave to go dance. My girl says she has to leave.

Girl: "I have to go dance with my friend!"
spin: "I had a great time chatting with you. You seem pretty cool, smarter than most girls I meet here. I'd love to continue this conversation over drinks sometime."
Girl: "I have a boyfriend!"
spin: "Well if you're looking for an upgrade give me a call. I'll give you my number."
Girl: "How about I give you my number?"

Get my iPhone out, call her out for not really having a bf, punch her name in my phone in plain view of her (Her Name the horseback rider who hates Drake) punch her number in, give her a missed call, she inputs my name into her phone before leaving.

Often times "I have a boyfriend" doesn't really mean "I have a boyfriend." Girls are testing you to see how you react.

 

[Mike32ct]

Awesome. The "upgrade" line works well.

 

[PDubb75]

Very nice. My only issue with the "upgrade" line as you said it, is that it puts it into her hands to call you.

I suppose there are other ways to phrase it, but the ways I can think of don't sound as "smooth", and come off more needy or in a joking tone.

Nice job in this case, though.

 

[spinaroonie]

Update

Got the number on Thursday.

Follow up texts:

Saturday

Me (4:09 PM): I just met your twin
Her (5:29 PM): I do have a twin, so that's highly possible.
Me (6:44 PM): ya you're def the evil twin though. you ever reach muzik?
Her (7:22): Nope

Monday

Me (9:19 PM): just saw a Mennonite on a horse, reminded me of you. how was your day
Her (9:21 PM): Haha. Pretty ****ty, I have way too much work this week.

Tuesday

Me (10:11 PM): hey Drake hater, my friends and I are debating something. you seem smart we could use your input on this
Her (11:20 PM): Lol. What is it?
Me (11:32 PM): my friends little sister's been with this guy 2 months. shes 17, thinks its serious. wants to get his name tattooed on her arm. what do you think
Her (11:34 PM): DO IT
Me (11:44 PM): it's more complicated than that hold up
Me (11:52 PM): just called. pick up
Her (11:54 PM): Haha I pay by the minute, nope.
Me (11:58 PM): lol lies. how's your calendar this week
Her (12:06 AM): Literally crazy busy lol. 2 lab reports due tomorrow, a midterm thursday, a lab report due friday, and I'm running a leadership conference this weekend.
Me (12:16 AM): k busy bee make time for me. I'm free Sunday night
Her (12:21 AM): Haha you know I have a boyfriend.
Me (12:25 AM): more lies. we'll be discreet
Her (12:25 AM): Haha I'm not lying, I told you I had a bf on thursday lol
Me (12:28 AM): I'm sure he loves that you give out your number to guys. you can do better
Her (12:37 AM): Wow, okay lol. You definitely don't know me or him well enough (or at all) to be saying stuff like that.
Me (12:42 AM): you're right, I barely know you but you seem worth getting to know. let's make it happen
Her (12:56 AM): Thanks, but to be honest I'd rather not.
Me (1:02 AM): k. say hi to the bf for me

 

[spinaroonie]

This girl wouldn't pick up the phone which means I can't smoothtalk her over the phone, so I cut the BS and went straight for the Hail Mary "asking out". She claims she has a bf. I'm sure he loves random club guys texting her at midnight.

This is your typical 19 year old club girl attention *****. This is why I don't put much stock in number-closes at clubs, either go for they lay that night or bust. Club skanks are like this, they'll give out their number because they like the attention/validation of getting constant texts from random dudes (even while in a relationship!). But they're not serious about hanging out. I'm not going to waste time sending cutesy texts to feed her ego; if she's not serious I won't expend my energy chasing.

If she really has a bf she's not relationship material. I called her out on it.

I want quality girls who don't play games. But because she met me at a club she sees me as the "fun club guy" who she can jerk around (and rest assured she's got a dozen other thirsty dudes that she's given her number out to still hollering at her over text). I'm convinced girls want attention as much as guys want sex.

 

[Demonpenz]

I can respect the effort. I get dusted off like this sometimes. The real game is not to feel like a worthless punk. I have to remember getting rejected really just eats at my instinct to breed, so if I know it is just a natural thing for me to hurt when getting rejected I can handle it better. The real game for me is holding my head up after things like this happen, and get through that day without being afc. I hope the lady calls you back and things go well.

 

[SharinganUser]

If a woman likes you she won't have a boyfriend. If she doesn't like you she will have a boyfriend.

Move on and find someone else to talk to.

 

[Masculinity]

If a woman likes you she won't have a boyfriend. If she doesn't like you she will have a boyfriend.

Amen to this ^

 

[spinaroonie]

Girls in committed relationships shouldn't be giving out their numbers to smoothtalking guys at clubs. If she's serious, she's a cheating ho. If not, she's an attention *****. Both are signs of poor character.

And then there are the girls that lie about being in a relationship when they're not. A guy can never be sure.

Nothing wrong with a guy being persistent if he's looking to hit it, regardless of whether she has a bf. Girls cheat all the time. I have a college girl who comes over to my place for the occasional bang. Her boyfriend still thinks she's a virgin.

Only a fool would trust a woman for her word about sex and relationships.

 

[loveshogun]

Girls in committed relationships shouldn't be giving out their numbers to smoothtalking guys at clubs. If she's serious, she's a cheating ho. If not, she's an attention *****. Both are signs of poor character.

I can guarantee you one thing - she put infinitely less thought and analysis than you did into all of this.

For you, it was getting the number, making the right moves, maintaining frame and sealing the deal.

For her, it was Thursday and a bunch of texts.

Better luck next time, dude. Don't sweat the small stuff.

 

[nismo-4]

Classic case. Judge nismo is on it.

No matter how old a woman is, she can be an attention wh0re. If a woman likes you, thinks you're handsome, or sees that you're rich, she's single. If you aren't, then she's taken, married, or has a boyfriend.

Watch a woman's actions. Also, be wary of the fact that women have hundreds of thousands of men to choose from. You MUST stand out. Because you didn't, the girl was an attention wh0re. Women don't play games with men they actually like.

That's reality. Your princess is in another castle.

Case closed.

 

[macallik]

Check The Archives forum. There is a thread on this topic with over 170 responses and counting

 

[bigneil]

Her: "I have a boyfriend."
You: "We just met, and you're already telling me about your problems?"

 

[DonGorgon]

i have a BF = i dont like you


females cheat all the damn time and dont care bout BFs or husbands at all..

 

[Chamber36]

Recently a girl working in a club started hitting on me. I asked for the number and she told me she had a BF. I said: "I don't care" and then she gave me more excuses and stories of cheating in the past.
That didn't lead to anything but my point is she was trying to see how I handle adversity.

Sometimes "I have a boyfriend" is just a ****-test. It's a slut's ****-test. They may want you to keep aggressing, and then you may get what you want. Only goes for sluts though.

In other cases they'll tell you about the boyfriend before they fvck you in order to clear their conscience.

Edit: of course it's also the perfect way to reject a guy, but you just have to push it and get rejected twice. that's how I do it. Unless you genuinely f*cked up beforehand(not enough comfort). Sometimes you gotta cut your losses.

 

[corrector]

Her: I have a boyfriend
You: I'm not into MMF threesomes, but a girlfriend would be okay.

 

[spinaroonie]

There's really no such thing as "text game", you can't build attraction through words on a screen.

You can see I tried to get her on the phone to work my magic, but like a lot of young girls she refused to pick up.

At this point I knew this was as much as dead in the water. So I went for the Hail Mary and asked her out over text, see how far I could take it. If she says yes, great. If she says no due to an (alleged?) bf, whatever. I cut my losses and run and move on to other bishes in the bullpen. Don't waste any more time texting and feeding her ego.

Obviously this girl wasn't ever serious, just fishing for attention and validation. Definitely a low quality ho but there are too many of these types these days.

 

[Serialized3]

My go-to with the boyfriend thing is to just IGNORE and change the subject, then plow through. It could be a shit-test, could be the real deal.

What you do from there depends on what you want and how much drama you are willing to put up with if she's actually telling the truth.