"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

How to deal with having different religions

Duffman7

New Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2007
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
How do you deal with going to church if let's say your atheist and your wife is catholic? My gf has this picture in her mind of us going to church on sunday with our kids like the perfect family and I told her I have a major problem with church and would not want to go. We've been dating 6 years and I'm in my mid 20's. She wants to get married soon and have kids but I'm kind of a scared of commitment being brought up in a household where things weren't so pleasant.
The thought of being forced to do something I don't want to do makes me want to run for the hills. She says I should do it for her because I love her but this is really a matter of principle in my mind. Any advice from people who have already gone through something similar to this?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

frivolousz21

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2004
Messages
3,151
Reaction score
16
Age
44
Location
belleville, il
wow.

if your athiest and she is catholic..you seriously...please seriously think this threw.

how religious is her family?

how close is she to them?

how religious is her?

there is no way to hide or get around this.
 

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
4,476
Reaction score
182
Next her.

Being atheist and being Christian are two world views that will always be in extreme opposition to eachother.

If you go through with this madness and eventually marry her look forward to a brutal messy and painful future divorce and ensuing custody battle should you have children with her.

They will be fvcked up beyond belief if your wife is allowed to brainwash them with her bullsh!t religion and if its a situation where one of the kids sides with you and the other sides with mommy the siblings might grow up to hate eachother out of resentment growing up with one always trying to save the other from hell and the other trying to save the other from ignorance and a fear mongering mind control system.

Hit the eject button on this relationship as soon as possible bro.

Its going down in flames one way or another anyway eventually.

This is one of those you can do it the easy way or you can do it the hard way situations.
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,589
Reaction score
6,377
Age
50
Location
midwestern cow field 40
If there's one thing worse than Athiests, it's the damn Catholics.
(just kidding!)

This relationship has no chance.
(no kidding)
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Duffman7 said:
...The thought of being forced to do something I don't want to do makes me want to run for the hills. She says I should do it for her because I love her but this is really a matter of principle in my mind.
What's more important to you, your principles or pvssy? If the two of you can't respect the other's principles what chance does the relationship have in the long run?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

TheHumanist

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2007
Messages
380
Reaction score
13
KontrollerX said:
Next her.

Being atheist and being Christian are two world views that will always be in extreme opposition to eachother.

If you go through with this madness and eventually marry her look forward to a brutal messy and painful future divorce and ensuing custody battle should you have children with her.

They will be fvcked up beyond belief if your wife is allowed to brainwash them with her bullsh!t religion and if its a situation where one of the kids sides with you and the other sides with mommy the siblings might grow up to hate eachother out of resentment growing up with one always trying to save the other from hell and the other trying to save the other from ignorance and a fear mongering mind control system.

Hit the eject button on this relationship as soon as possible bro.

Its going down in flames one way or another anyway eventually.

This is one of those you can do it the easy way or you can do it the hard way situations.
Hold it... wait a minute. I'm not going to say another thing for him to go as this is completely outside my qualifications, but I found this an interesting scenario so let me play devil's advocate


Now I don't disagree that by the numbers, marrying her is a bad idea. It is not unheard of for couples with great contrasting views but able to still work. Recently I have met a and discussed with others and find to be able to respect each other views and even find acceptable common ground (ie while we disagree Jesus on the religious, regardless he's a messiah or not, he was an example of a man to live by with his understanding of others and care for the world). I have met recently of many Catholics who understands the idea of acceptance instead of the evangelical intolerance of others. They were resonable in understanding others and have faith without despising others for having a different view. Isn't the assessment that different views is doom to failure a bit extreme?
 

Latinoman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Messages
4,028
Reaction score
58
Duffman7 said:
How do you deal with going to church if let's say your atheist and your wife is catholic? My gf has this picture in her mind of us going to church on sunday with our kids like the perfect family and I told her I have a major problem with church and would not want to go. We've been dating 6 years and I'm in my mid 20's. She wants to get married soon and have kids but I'm kind of a scared of commitment being brought up in a household where things weren't so pleasant.
The thought of being forced to do something I don't want to do makes me want to run for the hills. She says I should do it for her because I love her but this is really a matter of principle in my mind. Any advice from people who have already gone through something similar to this?
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=99452

See #3, #5, and #8 from the list I posted in the Original Post. Also see Francisco's post (number 4 in the thread).
 

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
4,476
Reaction score
182
"They were resonable in understanding others and have faith without despising others for having a different view. Isn't the assessment that different views is doom to failure a bit extreme?"

Succesful relationships of this type are exceptions rather than the rule.

On Sosuave I feel we are all about helping eachother maximize our chances at having successful relationships.

Not encouraging some guy to play russian roulette with his future.

So no I don't think my assessment that relationships with opposing views concerning religion or lack there of being doomed to failure is an extreme view at all.

Its the logical probable and practical view to take I feel.

If it were just an opposition over the parties liking different icecream flavors or types of movies to watch and I made the same post about it then my post would of been an example of an extreme viewpoint to take.
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
59
I agree you also need to think of your potential children.

I am not really an "atheist" anymore, but at the same time I don't believe in God, I just have my own hippy new age thing going on which is fine.

But--no way in hell are my children if I ever have any going to church.

The madness stops right here with me. So if my girl was all religious and everything,( don't forget her whole family supports her and may be praying for your soul right now because you are a filthy heathen) I can see major conflict when the honeymoon has worn off, and again, if you have kids it could get bad.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
reset said:
I agree you also need to think of your potential children.

I am not really an "atheist" anymore, but at the same time I don't believe in God, I just have my own hippy new age thing going on which is fine....
Sounds kinda "Zen" to me... :whistle:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

ZenGodMod

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
297
Reaction score
11
Athesits are not allowed in church, god would not appreciate that. Your girl will go right to hell.

Sorry but your girl has to be made to face reality. The fairy tale ends. The prince charming, the dream wedding and nuclear family is dislusions she is trying to force into your reality. She's testing a probable future where you give into her wants and needs. You DON'T ever have to enter a church. If she loves you she has to respect your belief as you shown respect for hers.

I am very spiritual, but ones beliefs should never be given up for god or love.
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
59
ZenGodMod said:
Athesits are not allowed in church, god would not appreciate that. Your girl will go right to hell.
"Daddy! Grandma said you're going to HELL!! " :cry:

Not to tease the OP. This is a big deal. I think there is something in the Bible that says the woman can't leave the man for religion.

It also says she can't speak in church, so your arguments would be short.

Actually it says you're in total, complete control. She has no input. She's your property.

This COULD work. But I bet 100% to you, that whatever conflicts there will be will most likely be on her end.

Francisco d'Anconia said:
Sounds kinda "Zen" to me... :whistle:
Yeah somethin' like that, lol.
 

mrRuckus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
4,382
Reaction score
85
People can't even follow their own religions. The bible says all sorts of things about how women are supposed to be this and that, but I don't know a one anymore that follows that let alone believes it. But oh, everything else is the bible is true!

"love honor and obey." Yeah, obey. It's in your freakin religious book and still people take an oath to that in their own freakin church and no one follows it. They laugh at it. Say it's ludicrous.. whoa ho ho.. the word of god is ludicrous now? Oh just ignore that part.. but the rest.. that is the real word of god!

How convenient.
 

Colossus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Messages
3,494
Reaction score
543
I personally would never marry a woman (or date with any seriousness for that matter) who had incongruent spiritual beliefs with my own.

This is just a personal boundary. I have casually dated women who are either athiest, or agnostic, or whatever...but they all ended fairly quickly.

Im sorry dude, but unless the two of you are on the same page with your spiritual beliefs, you have a tough road ahead.

Do not marry someone with whom you are unequally yoked.
 

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
4,476
Reaction score
182
Yeah I hate pick and choosers who pick the verses out of the Bible they want to believe in and discard the rest pretending that because the part they accept is good their god is good and their Bible is good.

Its so stupid.

Take the entire Bible in context, believe every word of it and if you can't do that don't call yourself a Christian.

There's also this other growing idiotic movement amongst believers to throw away Paul's teachings because they don't like that he's against sex outside of marriage and against homosexuality.

They make the case of oh thats just what Paul believed so it doesn't matter.

Nothing matters except what Jesus directly said they reason.

The thing is though Paul was supposed to be getting direct revelations ie teachings from Jesus Christ. He was giving Christs word and teachings not his own but people want to ignore that and these days say well Paul was just some guy seperate from it all so his stuff doesn't matter.

Thats like saying any character that had knowledge given to them in the Bible by god...well their visions and teachings from god don't matter now either because lol it wasn't god directly saying it in the book.

Homosexuals and people that want to have sex outside of marriage are morons for trying to be included in this religion.

In its purest form it is against your lifestyle. The Christian religion views your lifestyle as sin.

Stop trying to be part of something and change something that inherintely disagrees with you I say.

Its illogical and self defeating.

Either become an atheist, stop sinning and believe the correct way or simply believe in your own idea of god without needing an organized religious group to accept you when their teachings are clearly in opposition to what you believe.

There's a verse in the Bible that says true believers do not say what the world wants to hear and that Christians should seek to be friends with god not friends with the world.

Almost all these mainstream preachers you see all over television like Joel Osteen and Robert Schuller don't preach true Christianity so they are loved by all while guys like Jerry Fallwell (now deceased) and other fundamentalists preach/ed it as its meant to be preached and are hated the way the Bible said they would be for not saying what the world would like to hear but the true word of god.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
59
mrRuckus said:
I don't know a one anymore that follows that let alone believes it. But oh, everything else is the bible is true!
They may say they have a more enlightened interpretation. You see, when it was written it was for the people who were living in that time thousands of years ago, and at that time god DID encourage rape and slavery of women and children because that's what the people related to at the time, he could only give his word in language THEY would understand. Now things have changed, but the important stuff (like women not speaking in church) are CLEARLY meant for today AS WELL.

Look if you're not understanding the Word in the proper context, then you are not good with God. It should be very clear, look behind the words. Sense him speaking to you, through the words.

(absolutely could not resist that one. Hate all ya want.)

My children will never laugh at that because it won't mean anything to them. God as my witness.
 

MooseGod

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 12, 2007
Messages
785
Reaction score
11
Location
The Paradise City where the grass is green and the
I'm not really a religious person myself (last time I went to church was on Christmas I think), but I can definately see why people with kids might want to frequent the church...

Look at it this way...

Maybe you don't believe in God or all the Jesus stuff, but there are a lot of good messages in the bible (it's not just all fire and brimstone, unless you go to one of those wacky churches) on how to live a good and healthy life. Surely you wouldn't mind your kiddos (hypothetically speaking) learning to help others, be prosperous and well-grounded, and not waste most of their time and money on booze and drugs when they're older.

If this is REALLY the only thing keeping you from marrying this girl and have a good life together, and you actually care about her, talk to a relationship counselor about it. Good relationships (and especially marriages) are all about compromise--hopefully you two can find a win-win situation.

Maybe you two could find a more secular, non-denominational church that focuses more on life philosophies than Biblical semantics? Just throwing that out there. Just because you're an atheist doesn't mean you CAN'T attend church, or let her go and take the hypothetical children someday--just make sure it's not one of those evangelical ones where they dance with snakes and speak in tongues and weird **** like that.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that for average Joe, going to church really isn't about being a Jesus freak or trying to talk to God that much, but it's more of a social outlet where you can meet people with interests other than getting ****ed up all the time.

Good luck mang.
 

Colossus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Messages
3,494
Reaction score
543
mrRuckus said:
People can't even follow their own religions. The bible says all sorts of things about how women are supposed to be this and that, but I don't know a one anymore that follows that let alone believes it. But oh, everything else is the bible is true!

"love honor and obey." Yeah, obey. It's in your freakin religious book and still people take an oath to that in their own freakin church and no one follows it. They laugh at it. Say it's ludicrous.. whoa ho ho.. the word of god is ludicrous now? Oh just ignore that part.. but the rest.. that is the real word of god!

How convenient.
There are a lot of inconsistencies between the bible and how proclaimed Christians live their lives. But frankly, theose discrepancies exist in almost EVERY religion. Judaism, Islam, Buddism, Hinduism, you name it.

People are so apt to trounce on Christianity and point out the incongruent, subjective nature between the word itself and how Christians conduct themselves; largely because Christian faiths proselytize more than any other religious group.

It's unfortunate because the way people live their lives and condemn others deters people--often permanently--from ever looking at that religion or it's followers with an open mind again.

People have been hating Christians since they first appeared, but it angers me how quick folks are to completely disrespect Christ and Christianity--to your face--but much less apt to touch anything else.

It happens a lot in this forum. I cant tell you how many outrageously offensive comments i have read here about Christianity; by regular posters. And nothing is ever done about it. But have you ever seen an offensive or vulgar remark about Islam? Or Buddism? No, because it's unacceptable and the person would likely be banned.

Say what you want in private, but publicly trashing other's beliefs is disrespectful and shows a glaring lack of class. It may be more socially acceptable to trounce Jesus over Mohammed, but they are both immensely personal to a lot of people. Have some respect.
 

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
4,476
Reaction score
182
"People have been hating Christians since they first appeared, but it angers me how quick folks are to completely disrespect Christ and Christianity--to your face--but much less apt to touch anything else."

People don't care about anything else usually because Christianity is the most in your face religion in the west moreso than anything else, you've got Christians door to door trying to get people to buy what their selling, Christians with signs of aborted babies disgusting everyone with that pretending to be pro life while they support the bloody and illegal war in Iraq making their hypocrisy visible to all, Christians constantly trying to overturn Roe V. Wade and take away many other rights of ours, Christians bombing abortion clinics, Christians holding up fear mongering signs that say turn or burn, Christians hating people that are different than them, Christians throwing deceptive pizza parties to lure unwitting people in to be preached at as they eat, Christians all over tv telling us to accept Christ if we don't want to go to hell. Christians in our fvcking face everywhere we turn pushing their bullsh!t on us and you speak of respect? Give me a break. If Christians would keep their religion to themselves and keep it out of politics especially people wouldn't react so negatively to them.

Also Islam is opposed but because its followers become insane murdering lunatics when their religion is challenged sites like faithfreedom.org where an ex Muslim can't be killed by anyone are among the best places to oppose it without fear of reprisal.

"It happens a lot in this forum. I cant tell you how many outrageously offensive comments i have read here about Christianity; by regular posters. And nothing is ever done about it. But have you ever seen an offensive or vulgar remark about Islam? Or Buddism? No, because it's unacceptable and the person would likely be banned."

Nothing would or should be done about comments that are negative about other religions either.

You know why?

Because this isn't Christianity.com, Islam.com, Buddhism.com or any other religion.com.

This is Sosuave.com and here posting something anti religion cannot by fair moderation standards be considered trolling because the forum is not religion based.

Criticizing or being extremely negative about a religion here should be alright because this is a religious neutral zone.

Its really no different than if two posters were to get into an argument about sports teams here or if one person just had something negative to say about a sports team they didn't like.

"Say what you want in private, but publicly trashing other's beliefs is disrespectful and shows a glaring lack of class. It may be more socially acceptable to trounce Jesus over Mohammed, but they are both immensely personal to a lot of people. Have some respect."

As long as Christians continue to proselytize in public and work to affect our laws atheists need to feel free to counter them publically and depending on the size of a particular atheist's grapefruits if you know what I mean he or she can and should challenge Islam and other religions as well publically.

The only place a religious person's views should not be questioned is when they are in church, temple or in general keeping quiet about them but when they feel the need to share, an atheist should also be allowed to share, an opposing opinion.
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,589
Reaction score
6,377
Age
50
Location
midwestern cow field 40
Christians throwing deceptive pizza parties

the horror!

Criticizing or being extremely negative about a religion here should be alright because this is a religious neutral zone.

"Neutral" would imply that all opinions are allowed here. Such is not the case. bbestar starts threads about Jesus and God being great, and they get closed within the day. It's not that religious discussions on sosuave are prohibited; they are fine as long as everyone involved hates religion. As soon as anyone questions the sosuave agnostic groupthink, it tears a hole in the religion-hating circle jerk that every religious thread becomes, and the thread gets closed.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Top