How to deal with flakes?

[thunder_god]

I'm just wondering how you would respond to a flake? Say for example, you have a date and then she suddenly cancels the date coming up with some bs excuse and doesn't offer a counter date? Would you simply reply back with "ok no worries" or would you simply not respond back at all? What if she then texts you back, asking you why you aren't responding back or if your angry that she cancelled the date?

 

[slikkmeister]

Geez... did you even read any of the DJ bible?????
This is like PUA 101 stuff!!!
Or at least do a search on flakes and read some of the better posts!

 

[slikkmeister]

DO NOT text her back BTW... Wait for her to text you and say oh yeah I forgot we even had plans but I had a great time with this JANE DOE chic I just met... Let her know you're a man and don't out up with **** and that your time is valuable so she was easily replaced....
If she never texts you back than she never had high interest level in you anyway...

 

[TheCWord]

DO NOT text her back BTW... Wait for her to text you and say oh yeah I forgot we even had plans but I had a great time with this JANE DOE chic I just met... Let her know you're a man and don't out up with **** and that your time is valuable so she was easily replaced....
If she never texts you back than she never had high interest level in you anyway...

I whole heartedly agree with not bothering with this girl (though I think replying with "kk" or "cool" is no better or worse than the straight ignore).

As far as telling her you were out with another girl... or "letting her know you're a man"... that's just ego stuff and will make you seem butt hurt. A real man whose time is valuable wouldn't feel the need to inform anyone that he is a real man whose time is valuable. He'd just cooly walk away and on to the next one.

 

[slikkmeister]

I didn't say to actually tell her that you're a man... That would be implied by letting her know he was busy with someone else and forgot about her anyway..
Go read the DJ bible please Thunder if you haven't already, it's packed full of everything you will ever need to know. Also read up on the archived material if you haven't.

 

[Vice]

Just say "k" and move on. You can't control how other people respond to you. Different people have different life situations. Be more attractive next time.

Another thing that will help is not framing spending time with her as a "date". I haven't been on a "date" in a long time. "Dates" create too much social pressure and expectations. Keep it casual. Do errands with her; grocery shopping, paying bills, etc.

 

[thunder_god]

Geez... did you even read any of the DJ bible?????
This is like PUA 101 stuff!!!
Or at least do a search on flakes and read some of the better posts!

Actually I did, and there seems to be debate between the two. What if she asks if your angry or something? Should you just continue to ignore her?

Anyways by showing her that your not bothered by her flaking and not attempting to ask her again, does this help increase her attraction level?

 

[TheCWord]

Anyways by showing her that your not bothered by her flaking and not attempting to ask her again, does this help increase her attraction level?

This is the problem, you're looking for ways to raise her attraction when you should be moving on.

Overthinking this, strategizing, saying things to provoke any kind of reaction from her: this is all putting in effort... effort which is going to go into a black hole and make you feel drained.

Seriously. On to the next one. When you do date a girl who doesn't flake, who doesn't confuse you, etc you'll appreciate how much better it is to just focus on the girls who are interested in you. And you'll come back here and we'll all share a good laugh about the days when you used to waste time thinking about girls who didn't make things easy and fun.

 

[thunder_god]

This is the problem, you're looking for ways to raise her attraction when you should be moving on.

Overthinking this, strategizing, saying things to provoke any kind of reaction from her: this is all putting in effort... effort which is going to go into a black hole and make you feel drained.

Seriously. On to the next one. When you do date a girl who doesn't flake, who doesn't confuse you, etc you'll appreciate how much better it is to just focus on the girls who are interested in you. And you'll come back here and we'll all share a good laugh about the days when you used to waste time thinking about girls who didn't make things easy and fun.

What if this is someone you see on a regular basis say work or school? What if they bring up the fact that you didn't reply back or answer her question? How would you respond back? Would you just say you were busy?

 

[TheCWord]

What if this is someone you see on a regular basis say work or school? What if they bring up the fact that you didn't reply back or answer her question? How would you respond back? Would you just say you were busy?

I have two things to say about that...

1. You're imaging scenarios. Hypothetical thinking is part of that black hole I was referring to. You're a smart guy, if something like that comes up you'll deal with it.

2. To entertain the idea just this once: okay, you ignore her then see her at work or school. In my experience, girls are rarely confrontational over this sort of thing. Plus, she flaked on you with no counteroffer so she probably doesn't want to have any further discussions about this either.

Just be indifferent and not butt hurt over it the next time you two speak. Smile, be cordial, but don't give her too much convo - if she's going to flake on you, she's not allowed to be part of your world.

IF she asks why you didn't reply back.... and she WON'T... but if she does (she won't) then you just say you got busy.

 

[thunder_god]

I have two things to say about that...

1. You're imaging scenarios. Hypothetical thinking is part of that black hole I was referring to. You're a smart guy, if something like that comes up you'll deal with it.

2. To entertain the idea just this once: okay, you ignore her then see her at work or school. In my experience, girls are rarely confrontational over this sort of thing. Plus, she flaked on you with no counteroffer so she probably doesn't want to have any further discussions about this either.

Just be indifferent and not butt hurt over it the next time you two speak. Smile, be cordial, but don't give her too much convo - if she's going to flake on you, she's not allowed to be part of your world.

IF she asks why you didn't reply back.... and she WON'T... but if she does (she won't) then you just say you got busy.

I had a girl flake on me, and then ask me if everything was ok after I stopped replying back to her. She also asked me if I was mad at her two times before, when I was trying to next her. Probably should have stayed no contact after that bull****, but guess I had to learn the hard way .

 

[slikkmeister]

It's all part of the learning process man... Take ten girls and they all will react differently to the exact same scenario... It's just the way they are. Use some of the advice you got and see where it goes. If anything, you'll learn exactly what to say and when to say it. It takes time but you eventually become a natural at it. Practice makes perfect with anything, including this stuff!

 

[2Bold 4SS]

How do deal with flakes? DON'T.

 

[rascal99v]

How about calling another chick who won't flake? Don't give her your time. Flakes are a waste to have as a number. They are useless, just like the woman is. A bullsh1t excuse means she doesn't want to hang out. She won't care that you're not texting her. That's why it's best not to even text her back at all. What does textng her "ok no worries" accomplish? It's just a waste of a text message that gets deleted.

 

[GS750]

Flakes either have low interest or may possibly be playing games. More than likely low interest. Delete her number with no regrets.

 

[MisterSisterFister]

Thunder,

You're putting way to much thought & energy into these hypothetical situations when instead you should be using that energy towards going out and meeting some other females.

101 Female Flakes.

Step 1. Meet other chicks.
Step 2. Now you have other plates to fill in said time of flakee and have forgotten all about her.

 

[teddy]

Thunder,

You're putting way to much thought & energy into these hypothetical situations when instead you should be using that energy towards going out and meeting some other females.

101 Female Flakes.

Step 1. Meet other chicks.
Step 2. Now you have other plates to fill in said time of flakee and have forgotten all about her.

Agreed. It's amazing how easily we'll stoop in other to "prove" ourselves "worthy" of someone's attention who doesn't deserve it. Once you figure out that she's an idiot for not taking advantage of the opportunity to be with someone cool like you, you'll just laugh at her and move on to other plates.

 

[MisterSisterFister]

Agreed. It's amazing how easily we'll stoop in other to "prove" ourselves "worthy" of someone's attention who doesn't deserve it. Once you figure out that she's an idiot for not taking advantage of the opportunity to be with someone cool like you, you'll just laugh at her and move on to other plates.

To further what you've said, Having to prove ourselves only proves that we don't have what were trying to prove.