How to deal with "explosive" GF..

Fela Kuti

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My GF is a bit introvert, especially in the case of speaking out her feelings when she's mad at me. When I'm able to persuade her to speak, she does it in an explosive way; with crying and a bit of yelling. I told her that she must try to speak calmly and I don't like being yelled at. But she said she couldn't help it. Speaking out her feelings is a hard thing to do and if she pushed herself to do it, the crying and yelling would come out too.

Do you know how to handle this situation? Thanks, guys.
 
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young_gun

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Every time I've seen you post on here it's to complain about this girlfriend of yours. There's really no use in trying to save this relationship now, she doesn't respect you and tries to walk all over her. You should find someone else who will actually respect you and your time.
 

MotownMack

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Life is too short to spend it trying to fix someone with a bunch of baggage.

I've also noticed that sometimes trying to "help" just makes it obvious to this person that this is a good way to get attention or bring much needed drama to their live (and unfortunately, to yours too).

Some things we just have to fix on our own, when we're ready. You can't make this decision for her.

I went out a few times with a girl that was educated, hard working, intelligent, and funny. She wasn't that cute, but I got along with her really well, and we would have a good time when we hung out.

The real problem for me was her "intensity" issues. We could be talking about anything (not necessarily anything to do with us either, maybe even some current event), and if something hit her wrong, she'd go on long winded rants and bitter tirades. One night, we talked about the bad side of labor unions, and we're both in agreement on the subject-and she told me the next day, she was so worked up during our discussion, that she couldn't sleep for 3 hours after we got off the phone. She also get very judgemental, self righteous, and indignant when it came to many topics.

What I had with her, and what the OP is dealing with, is a low E.Q. (emotional quotient). She's immature emotionally, is not in touch with her feelings, and is probably poor communicator when it comes to dealing with topics when she becomes emotional.

This takes time and effort for her to fix, and there is probably not much you can do. She has to outgrow it on her own.
 

MotownMack

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bah, one of my 10 posts per day was wasted on a double post!

I want a credit!
 

Leporello

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People like that are just trouble. It'll come back to haunt you sooner or later.
 

3countriesPlan

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She is a bad communicator. You might think that well perhaps when she is in a good mood that you can communicate with her without her exploding.. truth is when you start trying to talk about "things" during othewise normal times you are going to come off as a sissy so what you will have to decide is whether you want to keep up this tainted relationship or if you need to cut loose. That is the only decision you can make now. I'm just speaking from my own experience, think about why you like her.. and whether that is enough to keep her around.
 
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man why are you even here?

you have grown into the biggest AFC ever since getting this gf

why are you with her? shes trash that disrepects you

dump her and find better more quality girls, i dont want to see you make a 20th thread in 4 months on how your gf disrespects you, or else i will go and cut your balls off - im serious dude!
 

TheEdgeOf

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Damn it man, no more misleading thread titles. I thought your GF was really going to explode. I choked on my drink and was about to get Peter Petrelli on the line and everything. Don't do that to me, man.

From what I can tell about your problem though, I think you should drop this girl. Not on her head or anything (just in case you take things as literally as I do.) But I do think you should break up with her. I mean, let's be honest here, Are You Happy? It doesn't seem like it to me. Are you a masochist? Hopefully not. Alright, so if you're not happy and you're not a masochist, then why are you in this relationship?

I don't like to do things that make me unhappy. No one does. So if her behavior makes you unhappy, get rid of her. Sure, it might make you unhappy in the short-term, but you'll get over it. And in the long run, you'll be happier. Get rid of your exploding girlfriend before she explodes in your face.

And if you don't, then you should probably kill yourself because there's no hope for you, studies have been done.
 
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KontrollerX

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young_gun said:
Every time I've seen you post on here it's to complain about this girlfriend of yours. There's really no use in trying to save this relationship now, she doesn't respect you and tries to walk all over her. You should find someone else who will actually respect you and your time.
Haha, we've been telling him this for months but he won't listen.

Now its just fun to read any new post he makes about this train wreck of a relationship.

And its educational in that when guys PM me here asking me about what type of relationship they should look for and get into I link them to a Fela Kuti thread and say a relationship that is the opposite of that. :crackup:
 

penkitten

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i am going to say this , the best way i can...
you can not fix her, or her explosive attitude.
she must do it herself.
right now, she sees no reason to fix it, because you always understand her excuses, and she can put it off for another day, each and every time.
the very next time she blows up at you for no reason, i want you to tell her that is the very last time she is allowed to blow up at you for no reason, and the very next time, you will have no other choice but to walk away from her because you will not continue to allow her to treat you in such a demeaning manner.
if it causes a fight, walk away.
if she does it again, and she will, walk away.

after you walk away, she will have to face the fact that she needs to work on herself. this process may take years to complete. some people never end up completing it, as another sucker comes along and buys all the excuses over and over.

perhaps her family communicates through yelling instead of talking. who knows? however, you can not get through your life, with someone on your side who is toxic and can not help themselves become untoxic.
 

Fela Kuti

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TheEdgeOf said:
Damn it man, no more misleading thread titles. I thought your GF was really going to explode. I choked on my drink and was about to get Peter Petrelli on the line and everything. Don't do that to me, man.

From what I can tell about your problem though, I think you should drop this girl. Not on her head or anything (just in case you take things as literally as I do.)
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
 

Fela Kuti

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positivity_injection said:
man why are you even here?

you have grown into the biggest AFC ever since getting this gf

why are you with her? shes trash that disrepects you

dump her and find better more quality girls, i dont want to see you make a 20th thread in 4 months on how your gf disrespects you, or else i will go and cut your balls off - im serious dude!
KontrollerX said:
Haha, we've been telling him this for months but he won't listen.

Now its just fun to read any new post he makes about this train wreck of a relationship.

And its educational in that when guys PM me here asking me about what type of relationship they should look for and get into I link them to a Fela Kuti thread and say a relationship that is the opposite of that. :crackup:
:crackup: Dude, I've been considering to breakup with her for some time. I just need an extra kick in the ass to have the courage to do it. And probably a backup girl, nawsayin'.

By the way, what's the best way to breakup with this girl without making her feel too hurt? What words should I say?
 

Leporello

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Fela Kuti said:
:crackup: Dude, I've been considering to breakup with her for some time. I just need an extra kick in the ass to have the courage to do it. And probably a backup girl, nawsayin'.

By the way, what's the best way to breakup with this girl without making her feel too hurt? What words should I say?
Why do you so many guys say this? "Oh yeah, i already knew that... but I needed some guy on the internet to tell me".

Grow a pair. If she can't respect you than you'll never respetc yourself, and vice versa. It's a lesson I learned the hard way.
 

TheEdgeOf

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Leporello said:
Why do you so many guys say this? "Oh yeah, i already knew that... but I needed some guy on the internet to tell me".
lol.

9 more posts, but that was worth it.
 

DannykDJ

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Everyone here is talking about your past threads about this girl so I looked over some of them and all I have to say is WOW.

I can guarantee you 100% that this girl is gonna cheat on you eventually. It is obvious she isn't emotionally stable and even worse is she doesn't respect you.

She is unstable and you appear to have no balls. Her problems can't be fixed, yours can though. You already said in this thread you know she is a bad gf but you stay with her anyway. I know first hand that anytime a man says that it means he is too insecure with himself to end a bad relationship because he would rather be miserable in a relationship than single.

Don't be ashamed of this because it happens to everyone. Take advantage of what the other people are telling you and use this to improve. You were able to get one gf so I guarantee you it means you have the potential to get another.

Ask yourself why you let her treat you like this. Everyone that has read your posts sees the red flags and knows whats coming why can't you. Have some self respect or else you are gonna end up getting hurt.
 

Fela Kuti

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I think it's not because insecurity that I still have doubts to breakup. But maybe because our relationship have a lot of sentimental values, and she can be the sweetest GF ever from time to time. Anyway, I'm seriously considering a breakup and I hope I won't post anything about my GF anymore.
 

Mavrick

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You have to have boundaries and being yelled at crosses the line. If you tell her that you don't want her to do it, then back it up, and she won't do it anymore. If she wants you in her life, she will watch what she does, and all you have to do is back it up. Back it up by backing off, and when she brings it up, tell her exactly why you're not the same. Then when she has stopped, you reward her by giving her attention once again.
 

oakraiderz2

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Fela Kuti said:
Man, it's more of a psychological problem than an attitude problem.
I wouldnt label it as a psychological problem, i would say its more her personality. She obviously never learned how to express herself. Looking at it as a psychological problem is probably pretty detrimental as well.
 
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