How to deal with excuses and conflicting behavior

[SomaFM]

Last year I got in touch again with an old classmate I liked. Just talked online for awhile, though she had a boyfriend. Soon as she was single she messages me saying we should get together. After much run around though finally got to hanging out around christmas, but nothing happened though had a good time. She has school and a job that takes alot of time she says so there's not much time for me though she says she wants to hang out more, flirts and sends signs she would be into me. We send texts alot though when I bring up hanging out she usually disappears for a while then denies it happening.

After trying to get another date I wasn't able to get one until valentines day, though she could only stay out about 2 hours then said she needed sleep. Whenever I try to just bring it to attention her games she gets mad and claims I'm just drama though I'm not even overbearing about it. Were supposed to hang out week or so after then but she canceled saying school work is too much.

I been dating other girls since, but I'd really like to get with this one too. How do I know if she really likes me and I should wait out the school session and see if she really does give me time then and stick with trying to hang out and talk or just drop her entirely. I want to think she does like me and is honest about being too busy, but at the same time she should be able to hang out more than twice in a few months time.

 

[kingsam]

Whenever I try to just bring it to attention her games she gets mad and claims I'm just drama though I'm not even overbearing about it....but I'd really like to get with this one too.....

she has VERY low interest in you, somehow you have "onitis" with this girl- even tho she dont like you

Last year I got in touch again with an old classmate I liked. Just talked online for awhile, though she had a boyfriend. Soon as she was single she messages me saying we should get together. After much run around though finally got to hanging out around christmas, but nothing happened

and she was also using you for "rebound attention" - the guy who would give her lots of attention after she split from her BF and was feeling down...( tho if the guy could read/interprenet her properly he'd relise she had a low interst in him, and was just after the ego boost his attention gave her)

 

[Kailex]

I will give you the benefit of the doubt here, since you are new to the board and this is your first post. First off, go read the DJ Bible. VERY important. Second, I'll break down your post little by little and show you what's going on.

Last year I got in touch again with an old classmate I liked. Just talked online for awhile, though she had a boyfriend. Soon as she was single she messages me saying we should get together. After much run around though finally got to hanging out around christmas, but nothing happened though had a good time. She has school and a job that takes alot of time she says so there's not much time for me though she says she wants to hang out more, flirts and sends signs she would be into me. We send texts alot though when I bring up hanging out she usually disappears for a while then denies it happening.

Soon as she was single...
Yep, she was looking for a rebound guy, and YOU were it. For at least one date.
Did she actually say that because of school and a job she had no time for YOU? Was that she said word for word?

Also... STOP THE TEXTING. You're showing yourself to be too available. Why would she want to hang out with you when she's getting attention from you via text. STOP IT. Let me guess, she tends to text you while she's at work?

Also... if she disappears for a while, it's probably because she's out dating 2 other guys who don't hang on her every text like you are.

After trying to get another date I wasn't able to get one until valentines day, though she could only stay out about 2 hours then said she needed sleep. Whenever I try to just bring it to attention her games she gets mad and claims I'm just drama though I'm not even overbearing about it. Were supposed to hang out week or so after then but she canceled saying school work is too much.

She went on a V-Day date for 2 hours??? This is a woman's holiday. Don't you think that was suspicious? What time was this DATE at? 6 PM? Did she mysteriously disappear at 8 claiming she needed SLEEP?

Stop bringing to her attention that she's playing games. She KNOWS she is playing games with you and what she is doing is flipping the situation on you. Your logic is telling you that she's ****ing up, but her emotional side is making you feel like you truly are screwing up when we KNOW you really aren't. But you are feeding into her ego and giving her the attention she craves, without even actively dating.

I been dating other girls since, but I'd really like to get with this one too. How do I know if she really likes me and I should wait out the school session and see if she really does give me time then and stick with trying to hang out and talk or just drop her entirely. I want to think she does like me and is honest about being too busy, but at the same time she should be able to hang out more than twice in a few months time.

I somehow doubt you are dating other girls. I don't know why, but I get this nagging feeling that it's just this girl that you got going for you.

Why? Because this has been ongoing for MONTHS and you are still trying to pursue it.

First off... she DOESN'T like you. She's stringing you along for a nice "orbiting ride". You'll become rebound guy again once all of her other 12 options run out.

Second, WHY in the blue hell do you want to get with her? That screams oneitis right here. You've gone out (and I use that term very LOOSELY) twice in three months. She is very dodgey, you two have probably not even kissed, and you want to get with her?

Drop the ego and just move on. I know it sucks to have to turn away from this "awesome chick" but just do it and salvage whatever is left of your pride after this.

Stop waiting for her. Stop wasting your time. 2 times in 3 months is pathetic. Move on, spin plates, read the DJ Bible and rediscover your self-worth. Trust me, she's NOT worth it and she's already wasted 3 months of your life.

Remember, there's MANY women out there. There will be a lot more out there to realize that YOU are the prize. You'll learn over time that we don't "want to get with someone"... we create situations where we want "them to get with us".

 

[SomaFM]

I have been checking out this site for a few years now reading various things in the bible and posts, just decided to finally sign up though. Still much to learn though.

She did pretty much say she has no time for me, but for all things in life. Says she works two jobs and has college and does volunteer work on sundays, which is why I been wanting to believe she genuinely just couldn't make time for dating. It had been a 10 years since I seen her last so we weren't real close or anything.

I couldn't confirm when she texts more than others, though it must be during work most times. Usually shes the first to start it then we have some replies then she just stops. I admit I get caught up in it and get annoyed when that happens, probably much to eager to respond than I should.

The valentines day date seemed fairly easy to get like she had no one else bothering to ask. We were supposed to get together at around 6 but got pushed back to 8 and then said she needed to be in by 10 cause she had work in the morning.

Says when school calms down it'll be better, but waiting does seem like a waste. I have met a few girls recently and those are going well and easily keeping her out of my mind. Shes not the best girl but really fun to hang out with the few times I did see her,so I was hoping for more than a hookup with this one at least.

Your right I probably don't have much face left to save with this one. Should I avoid any contact at all from now on, not respond to texts or try to be somewhat of a friend even when other girls come along? Thanks for the straight truth.