How To deal with Dominance, quick question

[TheMale]

Hey people,

i have a quick question about dominance.

we all know that dominance is really important for PU, DJing, Work etc.

how do you stay dominant when you have someone in front of you that are in a social status level up than you ?

for the example: you are at work, your boss give you something to do, but it feels to you like your just the employee and it's your duty to listen to him, you have no other choice than listen to him and be like everyone else or tell him that he can **** himself and get fired.

another one (i know a bit imagination ;p): you're a cop and going to ask some question to a suspect, his lawyer (woman), telling you 'he wont answer now, come back tomorrow'.

how can you show your dominance in that kind of situation ?
i mean situation where the person in front of you have more power and always have the last word (you can't go against that if you don't want troubles)

 

[backseatjuan]

Know the difference between ass and donkey?

Ass is a state of being.
Donkey is work description.

He might be an ass, but you could use him as a donkey.


Read 48 laws of power.

 

[Hotsauce]

You let that person know that you are the best god damn thing alive that can do that said action. If he knows you're good at it, he will rely on you, and that is when you know you have dominated the higher up.

Civilians have the right to deny searches and questioning unless the officer has a warrant, so... you can't do anything about that.

 

[TheMale]

hotsauce: im not looking for a practical 'how to ask him question' but how can i show to his lawyer, even if she's telling me come back tomorrow, that i still dominant even if she shot me down with her power position ?

do i need to go without answering ? or maybe answer somthing like 'yeah we can do that' ?

long short story: how do i show dominance even if the person in front of me is in a power position ?

don't rely only on my example, it's just to illustrate what i mean.
instead, rely on my question to answer

BTW, thx for your answer
backseatjuan: i didnt read it but i have it, what is so good about that book ?
for my point im not looking to disguise but to be really dominant
and from what i could understand, these book like '48 laws of power' how to become an alpha male' is just to look like but not really being one !

 

[Aaron B]

your dominance isn't over others - its over your own emotions, thoughts, actions, body language, etc.

through you control of yourself, you may be able to influence others to follow you

most of the people you encounter who are easily influenced or led don't have that control of themselves. or more rarely, they do have control and they've realized its in their best interest to let you take the lead. they become the yin to your yang

if you try to impose your will on someone and they flatly refuse, how you respond emotionally goes a long way to showing if you are actually "dominant" or not

if you fail to impose your will then you get freaked out and react with negative emotions, who is dominating whom?

also its basically impossible to be dominant in all situations. very powerful dominant men are still in situations where they have to submit to the authority of someone or something more powerful than themselves.

 

[Mike32ct]

Completely agree.

There will always be someone above you. Instead of trying to dominate them, be so in control of yourself that you don't let them affect you emotionally.

Your boss is yelling at you? Use the non-reactive frame. You are still listening to what he's saying. You aren't being disrespectful. But you aren't showing fear or escalating (by yelling back).

Most people that try to dominate you expect you to cower in fear and become extremely apologetic or yell back and escalate towards a fight. When you do neither, it confuses them and knocks them off balance. Plus by letting them vent, the run out of steam and realize their aggressive tactic isn't working.

your dominance isn't over others - its over your own emotions, thoughts, actions, body language, etc.

through you control of yourself, you may be able to influence others to follow you

most of the people you encounter who are easily influenced or led don't have that control of themselves. or more rarely, they do have control and they've realized its in their best interest to let you take the lead. they become the yin to your yang

if you try to impose your will on someone and they flatly refuse, how you respond emotionally goes a long way to showing if you are actually "dominant" or not

if you fail to impose your will then you get freaked out and react with negative emotions, who is dominating whom?

also its basically impossible to be dominant in all situations. very powerful dominant men are still in situations where they have to submit to the authority of someone or something more powerful than themselves.

 

[zekko]

There will always be someone above you. Instead of trying to dominate them, be so in control of yourself that you don't let them affect you emotionally.

Your boss is yelling at you? Use the non-reactive frame. You are still listening to what he's saying. You aren't being disrespectful. But you aren't showing fear or escalating (by yelling back).

I agree with this. There's always going to be someone above you, you don't try to dominate them. This goes back to 48 Laws of Power: Never outshine the Master. You can work towards not being under them (like starting your own business or whatever), but while you are under them you have to respect their position.

Be dominant by being successful in what you do. Know your role, and pick your spots. That doesn't mean being a "yes man" though - if you have a worthwhile idea speak your mind.

 

[TheMale]

i think i got the idea !

juste to internalize that, im taking an example a little bit extreme, let's assume you are with some friends out and you all dont know what to do tonight
you give an idea and none of them wanna go (or maybe 1 or 2 in a large group of 15 people) do you going there by yourself and maybe some of them will follow ?
or you're staying with the groupe and let the people lead you ?

my question rely on what you guys were saying: control my emotionnal state and dont let other lead you to their own world but lead them yo yours

 

[ilikecharlene]

In both cases, be co-operative, do as you are told, but don't be a pushover.

In the case of a boss, do as he commands, but from time to time voice disagreement. In the case of the police officer, be co-operative but don't be nervous of overawed.

 

[TheMale]

Thanks guys for your answers !