loving
Senior Don Juan
I thought of this and put it in my sig. I'd like to receive some feedback on it.
My short explanation of two very simple, very practical, and very misunderstood concepts: "What goes around comes around" and "Treat others as you would like to be treated"
We are all here to grow and help each other do the same. Growth can be positive or negative, and each time you choose for someone else either case you have also chosen it for yourself. Think about it, do you deserve the way you treat other people or so much more? "Do onto others as you would have them do onto you"
I understand that you must be asking what if someone is rude to me? The options, like anything, are infinite and depend on the situation and your intent. Often there are two choices from which to choose - do you wish to better a person from their negativity or feed into it?
The latter has an infinite number of possible responses, I won't go into them all but such behaviors include: ignoring it, making fun of it, addressing it with more negativity.
These are the main three that are in fact the worst things you can do if your goal is a positive one. Personally I place my woman wants to the side when negativity arises because there is more at stake then than just two or so people. It is a pattern that comes from that one person. Since I have much better things to do than counsel the poor fellow/chica, I let them do it themselves. This is why I believe the proper reaction to negativity is a question of intent. That is to say, if they are rude to you, ask them "Why are you rude?"
Why does this work?, you might ask. And it's good that you're asking questions. That is because the response they give you then is irrelevant. So is any further negativity. Regardless of if they realize their rationalle is stupid or not in that moment, I can assure you they will replay that moment in their head - you're probably the one person who ever asked them why they choose such ****ty responses. You install at this point an immediate pattern interrupt in their cognitive memories, that will ask them that very question whether they like it or not. You must then think from their perspective - what do they have to replay?
This brings me back to what not to do, and I will explain why.
Ignore their negativity - when they replay this in their heads they will only have 1 viable source for literal interpretation - their pattern. Their negative pattern is inherantly negative, and so repeating that will only further it. The variable here is their self-consciousness. Their reaction to your ignoring them could be a pattern break for them, or it could only serve to further the negativity by creating the belief that other people are just as negative back. The latter is the more common one, as the mind tends to fill in the gaps (ie what you created by ignoring them) with more of what is familiar. In that moment, and in later moments of recallection, it will be negative. If they fill it up positively then you can only assume that positive patterns are prevalent and so your ignoring it did no good anyway. Remember to keep a perspective from both sides. Besides, I would rather not leave it up to them to fill in.
Making fun of their negativity - Simply put, humour is a mature mechanism of dealing with reality. However, you must again look at the differing perspectives. Because negativity, like positivity, is self-feeding, and all content is inherantly mutually exclusive of meaning, like ignoring them your laughter is ambiguous and can be interpreted either way. Most likely negatively, and there is little you can say after that will be able to match the emotion of negativity + laughter. You don't want to be in this situation as a result of your action, clearly. Having said this, it is perfectly normal and actually good, to laugh at it later in your head or out loud. Laughter is great but it should not be directed at those who are negative to you, at least in those moments.
Addressing their negativity with more negativity - This, I mean, is the most common response from people and actually the worst. Do you know what an argument is? It is negativity feeding negativity and on and on and on. Positivity, like negativity, is self-perpetuating. In fact everything is self-perpetuating, that is how it is able to exist - not in dualities.
A very very important note is to never be negatively affected by their negativity. This will affect your action in that moment and nullify all possible positive effects. Remember we have established that unlike in math, two negatives multiply to exponentially greater negativity. The way to do this is to be consciously aware of your state, however unlike the title suggests, this topic is not mainly about your own state management. I made a post that dealt with AA and also state management I believe is very applicable, and if people cannot understand my meaning I would be happy to post it upon request. In short - meditate and turn bad beliefs into good ones. Anyway, once you are being aware of how you feel, you will be able to tell if you are negatively affected by negativity. At this point it is absolutely required that you take a moment and even yourself out to your past happiness or better. In fact the way this will serve you is two-fold, as it creates tension outside and thus amplifies the effect of your pattern interrupt (which is, again, asking why they are ___ form of negativity), and genuinely gives it merit by helping it come from a positive source. A positive comment from a negative source is clearly evident - as you may be able to tell from your past experiences of people not seeming truthful or congruent.
I would lastly like to apologize for being so what I call "ADD" in this post - skipping between points. Currently that is how my mind works and I do not want to use the energy to edit things when their order really is of no importance. I hope this helped you.
One love
My short explanation of two very simple, very practical, and very misunderstood concepts: "What goes around comes around" and "Treat others as you would like to be treated"
We are all here to grow and help each other do the same. Growth can be positive or negative, and each time you choose for someone else either case you have also chosen it for yourself. Think about it, do you deserve the way you treat other people or so much more? "Do onto others as you would have them do onto you"
I understand that you must be asking what if someone is rude to me? The options, like anything, are infinite and depend on the situation and your intent. Often there are two choices from which to choose - do you wish to better a person from their negativity or feed into it?
The latter has an infinite number of possible responses, I won't go into them all but such behaviors include: ignoring it, making fun of it, addressing it with more negativity.
These are the main three that are in fact the worst things you can do if your goal is a positive one. Personally I place my woman wants to the side when negativity arises because there is more at stake then than just two or so people. It is a pattern that comes from that one person. Since I have much better things to do than counsel the poor fellow/chica, I let them do it themselves. This is why I believe the proper reaction to negativity is a question of intent. That is to say, if they are rude to you, ask them "Why are you rude?"
Why does this work?, you might ask. And it's good that you're asking questions. That is because the response they give you then is irrelevant. So is any further negativity. Regardless of if they realize their rationalle is stupid or not in that moment, I can assure you they will replay that moment in their head - you're probably the one person who ever asked them why they choose such ****ty responses. You install at this point an immediate pattern interrupt in their cognitive memories, that will ask them that very question whether they like it or not. You must then think from their perspective - what do they have to replay?
This brings me back to what not to do, and I will explain why.
Ignore their negativity - when they replay this in their heads they will only have 1 viable source for literal interpretation - their pattern. Their negative pattern is inherantly negative, and so repeating that will only further it. The variable here is their self-consciousness. Their reaction to your ignoring them could be a pattern break for them, or it could only serve to further the negativity by creating the belief that other people are just as negative back. The latter is the more common one, as the mind tends to fill in the gaps (ie what you created by ignoring them) with more of what is familiar. In that moment, and in later moments of recallection, it will be negative. If they fill it up positively then you can only assume that positive patterns are prevalent and so your ignoring it did no good anyway. Remember to keep a perspective from both sides. Besides, I would rather not leave it up to them to fill in.
Making fun of their negativity - Simply put, humour is a mature mechanism of dealing with reality. However, you must again look at the differing perspectives. Because negativity, like positivity, is self-feeding, and all content is inherantly mutually exclusive of meaning, like ignoring them your laughter is ambiguous and can be interpreted either way. Most likely negatively, and there is little you can say after that will be able to match the emotion of negativity + laughter. You don't want to be in this situation as a result of your action, clearly. Having said this, it is perfectly normal and actually good, to laugh at it later in your head or out loud. Laughter is great but it should not be directed at those who are negative to you, at least in those moments.
Addressing their negativity with more negativity - This, I mean, is the most common response from people and actually the worst. Do you know what an argument is? It is negativity feeding negativity and on and on and on. Positivity, like negativity, is self-perpetuating. In fact everything is self-perpetuating, that is how it is able to exist - not in dualities.
A very very important note is to never be negatively affected by their negativity. This will affect your action in that moment and nullify all possible positive effects. Remember we have established that unlike in math, two negatives multiply to exponentially greater negativity. The way to do this is to be consciously aware of your state, however unlike the title suggests, this topic is not mainly about your own state management. I made a post that dealt with AA and also state management I believe is very applicable, and if people cannot understand my meaning I would be happy to post it upon request. In short - meditate and turn bad beliefs into good ones. Anyway, once you are being aware of how you feel, you will be able to tell if you are negatively affected by negativity. At this point it is absolutely required that you take a moment and even yourself out to your past happiness or better. In fact the way this will serve you is two-fold, as it creates tension outside and thus amplifies the effect of your pattern interrupt (which is, again, asking why they are ___ form of negativity), and genuinely gives it merit by helping it come from a positive source. A positive comment from a negative source is clearly evident - as you may be able to tell from your past experiences of people not seeming truthful or congruent.
I would lastly like to apologize for being so what I call "ADD" in this post - skipping between points. Currently that is how my mind works and I do not want to use the energy to edit things when their order really is of no importance. I hope this helped you.
One love
