How to deal with a jealous moron in the office?

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

Let's get straight to the point. There is a moron in the office who seems to feel a little pissed off because I inadvertently attract a lot of women naturally. Since he is a jealous freak, he is also being competitive with me.

So right now, in order to make my life miserable in the office, he is making me look bad in front of the boss by telling him that I wasn't working in the office most of the time, but instead surf the internet and do something else personal. My boss came to me and told me not to do anything else during working hours because I should be doing my work. So I told my boss that I never did whatever you had just heard from him. Unfortunately, my boss did not believe me because there are other colleagues of mine who somehow "CLAIM" to see me doing something else during working hours.

I told my boss these are all pure lies and they are conspiring against me but my boss did not believe me. And right now today, he accused me to stealing his stationary belongings. WTF? I did not know how it appeared at my desk. (Did he deliberately put it there to accuse me?)

If this continues to go on, life will be miserable for me in workplace. I do not know what else is he gonna do next but whatever he is doing right now is not pleasant. DaRN!

 

[Julian]

2 can play at that game. Spread rumors through the office that he is gay and has tried to molest several of the male workers in the bathrooms.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Put ex lax in his coffee.
Hide the toilet paper on your floor.
And if that's not enough, slash his tires.

Or, why not try talking to the guy?

 

[ScrewIt]

remember, what goes around comes around.

eventually he'll get what he deserves, may not be today or tomorrow but it'll come in due time.

believe me, no ones likes whiners/complainers, not even an employer. it's simply annoying. the more he nags to your boss the higher chances he's gonna be on your boss's h8 list.

Or you could do what mindovermatter said, slash his tires and scare the **** out of his pants that you're after his ass.

 

[Cutiepiie]

lol@ these ideas to get her in trouble.....

NO WONDER FEMALES ARE THE HIGHER SPIECES!! HA!!

j/k

my advise is stop surfing on the net..and doing personal things at work..lol duh!

your boss just come to you "CLAIMING" you did something... He must have some proof...

So I say save your job and stop being a professional slacker..lol

Oh and dont slash his tires... put suga in his gas tank, less effort more damage

 

[oda]

the best way to teach someone a lesson is to whoop their ass, i dont care what anyone else says.. if you show him who is boss he won't be trying any fast moves anymore.

 

[tom121]

spread he is gay rumor or video type hes laying off at work, make sure you have lots of it so he can get fired instantly

 

[ScrewIt]

NO WAIT screw all the above posts...i know the true solution...

keep your friends close
keep your enemies closer...

turn him into a friend then backstab when he least expects it..pure evil.

OR just confront his AFC ass to find out what his true intentions are in spreading rumors/ telling on you.
tell him you dont give a rats ass and tlel him to plz continue.

ONCE he knows what he does doesnt bother you one bit, he'll be pissed and will stop. his main purpose is to piss you off.

 

[Snatchmaster]

Put a keystroke logger on his computer. Get his email password. send evil from him to your boss. perhaps write a fake mail to someone else about how he's trying to get you fired and 'accidentally' send it to your boss.

Whatever you do, you need to play it very cool with him. The boss knows you're mad and will likely take jerkyboy's side.

If you want to make a stink where he sits, smear a little doggy doo under his chair: not much, just enough so he thinks he smells something, but he's not sure.

As for his car, I wouldn't do anything more than a nail under one of the tires. Mind you, you can alternate tires and types of nails three times over the course of a month before it is viewed as anything more than bad luck.

The nice thing about tires is you can make him late for work. Just don't let anyone see you near his car.

But screw it has it right:

keep your friends close
keep your enemies closer...

turn him into a friend then backstab when he least expects it..pure evil.

Of course, if you turn him into a friend, you might not need the backstab....

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

Slash his tires? Do something to his car?

Easier said than done. Well, do you guys know how I could do it discreetly so I won't get caught or perhaps he wouldn't suspect it's me who did it.?

If I would say I wanna get him fired, could you contribute some ideas to show me how it could be done?

 

[DJDamage]

You should try to ignore him whenever you can. Don't let his antics get to you. Try to patch things up with the Boss, if that guy doesn't believe you then maybe you do have the reputation of a slacker.

Try not to mix business and pleasure. I noticed most people in an office environment don't like a guy who is pulling all the chicks and have his fun with them, while he treats all the other males/older females in a proffesional manner. If this situation best desrcribe you then you are making enemies due to your behaviour.

You should either treat HB proffesionally or you should also try to be fun with your other co-workers and get them involve in conversations.

If you do that maybe you can ask your disgruntled co-worker to go out to drink with you and the girls and he would feel better about the situation.

Sometimes its better to disarm the enemy then try to destroy him.

 

[Phrozen]

hide a camera in your office whenever you're out

 

[Yeto]

This is what I would do, and I consider myself a bad a$$ m.f.:

Smile at him, be his friend, talk to the rest of the people of the office as he is a nice guy and you consider him your friend, let a little bit of time go to forget the resent frictions.

Then attack, the retarded girl is right, put sugar in the tank of his car, and here comes the best...

Send him flowers to the office and in the card... A GUYS NAME HAHAHA...

(it does not have to be yours of course......)

He dicho.

 

[Julian]

Then attack, the retarded girl is right, put sugar in the tank of his car, and here comes the best...

Fucc that. Sabotaging anyones car is a ***** move and should be punishable by DEATH!

 

[ScrewIt]

trash his car with eggs, and stuff bananas in his gas pipe.