How to deal with a flirty ex gf while you are in the same room?

busyp

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Hey guys, just registered in this forum. I've heard about this place from Rollo Tomassis The Rational Male, which became a very important book for me since last year and which marks the beginning of my red pill and game awareness.

Yesterday I got a call from a friend and he asked about my advice on a situation he experienced on the weekend. I told him about my interest in intergernder dynamics and all the stuff which is discussed here earlier. This is why he reached out to me.

I couldn't find a waterproof strategy which is why I am now asking for your thoughts on this:

They've had a relationship between about 16-28 years old. Since a year they broke up. She kissed another dude.
Since then both of them embraced their freedom and are meeting other people.

It is clear nevertheless, that she as a woman has an easier time with getting over it. That manifests in being more outgoing and sort of flirty even when they happen to be on a same event. She is fine talking with friends of her about boys related stuff while my friend is within earshot. She even asked if she can come and bring a guy she met while traveling, and has an intimate relationship with, to a BBQ to which my friend and I were invited - that would have been super awkward, guranteed. But she did not realize that or did not give a ****. She told him that this guy is her soul mate. You get the idea.

On this weekend my friend and her saw each other at a small house gathering and she was flirty with a girl and they ended up in the bathroom behind a locked door. My friend was puzzled. He had a good time that night, felt confident and social. But seeing her ex gf (you have to take into account for how long they have been together. basically their whole youth) being flirty or overtly talking about boy topics and being touchy even if it was a girl troubled him.

I am not asking you why she behaves like that. Or even why there is obviously a discrepancy when it comes to being aware that your ex is close by and tp maybe turn it down a little. I guess that a guy has no control about her being like that and that he can't change it.

I want to know how you would deal with this.

Would you be offensive and run some sort of amused mastery signaling that you do not give a **** either (even if you might do)?
Would you just leave the party?
Ignore it, maybe flirt with other girls (which should not be done overtly and should not imply that you do it for her.
Tell her that it bothers you - in a way so that you do not lose more than you win by doing it?

Looking forward hearing what you think.

Cheers
 
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mrgoodstuff

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Your friend don't have enough sexual diversity and his mind paints whatever is good for him, soon he will fall in love with her and become her orbiter.
Very true. A terrible position to get stuck in. It prevents him from connection with ladies who would desire him.
 

busyp

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Well but he has other girls around and enjoys his freedom.
Why would he fall in love with her and become her orbiter - they have been together for about 13 years. And now its over. Thats not the problem.
My question is about how to deal with a situation like I described.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Well but he has other girls around and enjoys his freedom.
Why would he fall in love with her and become her orbiter - they have been together for about 13 years. And now its over. Thats not the problem.
My question is about how to deal with a situation like I described.
If hes strong enough to not let it affect him laigh at her exploits while enjoying the pusszy he gets. If its a distraction then stay away.
 
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Robert28

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If hes strong enough to not let it affect him laigh at her exploits while enjoying the pusszy he gets. If its a distraction then stay away.
This. Be warned though, he’s going to need to really not let himself get sucked in by his ex. You can flirt and have zero interest beyond anything but sex, putting all feelings and emotions aside but it’s hard with someone you used to like. I’ve tried it and I can do it for awhile but then I find myself falling back for that person and their feelings never changed about me. All of a sudden I’m left with no girls whatsoever because I pushed the ones I had aside for someone who I let myself develop feelings for when I shouldn’t have.
 

mrgoodstuff

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This. Be warned though, he’s going to need to really not let himself get sucked in by his ex. You can flirt and have zero interest beyond anything but sex, putting all feelings and emotions aside but it’s hard with someone you used to like. I’ve tried it and I can do it for awhile but then I find myself falling back for that person and their feelings never changed about me. All of a sudden I’m left with no girls whatsoever because I pushed the ones I had aside for someone who I let myself develop feelings for when I shouldn’t have.
The other part of it is the mindset you shared from your PREVIOUS dealings with her, will be reastablished if you keep connecting with her. If that mindset was weak or unattractive, it will start to be reastablished. I'd focus my time on females who are into me and who desires me.
 

kbbroiler1971

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Okay I have a rule of thumb now which I follow is any woman I date and then we break up we are done completely. This means no friends distancing yourself from her completely. Pretty much she is dead to me. You have to enforce these boundaries because you know what is going through her mind. She has the guy she is banging and her ex around so she is getting attention from both and having her cake and eating it too. Your friend has to ditch her completely and yeah ok been together from 16 to 28 why break up now? It sounds like she wanted to break up so she could ride the **** carousel. Her curiousity will get her in the end. Your friend needs to focus on himself and cut ties with his ex.
 
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