"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How to cure oneitis

jizzlobber

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Someone help me with this oneitis. Tell me I am stupid and whatnot. The thing is she always does nice things for me so its hard not to think about her. And I am talking to other girls but I just can't seem to stop thinking about this one. I tease her and act like a jerk in front of her but she keeps coming back for more. Any hints would be appreciated.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Wiesman44

Master Don Juan
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not necessarily true. one-itis is when you really like a girl and just cant get her out of your head. Even when dating a girl, its bad to have one-itis.

Unfortunately, i have no magical solution to getting rid of it. But what I can say is, I for one, have had it so many times throughout the years, have been rejected from most of 'em, that I have begun not caring anymore about getting it. If i do begin to like a girl, thats all it is, thinking she's hot, nothing more. B/c i know in my head that obessing over one girl is pointless. After much experience of doing it, I've taught myself this.

I learn through experience.......I'm sure you will too.
 

Adrian

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The thing is she always does nice things for me so its hard not to think about her. And I am talking to other girls but I just can't seem to stop thinking about this one. I tease her and act like a jerk in front of her but she keeps coming back for more.

I know what you mean. Just forget about it. Two days ago I seen my oneitis of a few months. It's funny because the feelings didn't come back at all. She began acting all nice again and began helping with what I was doing. She probably thinks that I "missed" her or something. I mean..... I did at first for a good 3 months but all of that went away. I now feel NOTHING for her. In fact when I last seen her I just had to question myself.... "What was so great and special about this girl in the first place?" I concluded that there was nothing special about her. Now I just think she's stupid and not even worth my time. Also I know that I can still hit that but I'm not even going to bother. Just move on buddy. This oneitis of yours is not even worth it in the first place. Want to get over her? Seperate yourself. Take a vacation. Don't talk to her or see her again. Just try and avoid her.
 

Adrian

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I think oneitis is the obsession with a girl who has no interest in you - not a girl who keeps coming back for more...

My oneitis was a BPD chick. She more than likely just doing it for the attention if thats the case. But.... There's only one way to find out is she's truly interested. Offer to take her out. If she refuses (2 times is my limit) then just move on. Right there you'll get that feeling in your gut telling you that you're more than likely being played.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Doctor Who

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Bottom line is you need to sever the emotional connection to thoughts of her. I found it much easier to cure oneitis when I was able to distance myslef from the girl. Without the constant reminder, i was able to spend time doing things I enjoyed, and eventually calmed down enough to logically see that she was not worth the trouble.

It took one of my friends sitting me down and telling me how dumb it is to waste my time on her, and the discovery of this site to break it. Read through the bible and all the postings on breakups, oneitis, etc. I really was surprised how common it is.

Distance, personal growth, and logic will help you alnog the way.
 
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