How to convert?

[ronp78]

I have a third date this weekend. Dinner and a movie. I know there's no chance of finally having sex with her since we cannot get to a venue. She's even talking already about a 4th date though.

However, if she were to also go out with me on Saturday, then there would be a place for sex to definitely happen.

Questions:

1. Assuming Friday goes well, how can I ask her to go out on saturday without looking desperate? I kissed her midway through the 2nd date and she responded very favorably.

2. Why is she holding off so long on the sex?

3. Should I just keep playing it cool, showing her a good time, while biding my time until the opportunity is right? (i'm dating two other girls as well but this is the one I like)

4. What's really going on here? I am pretty confident she is not dating anyone else.

-Ron

 

[ronp78]

Extremely frustrating - what the hell is going on here?

Went to dinner and a movie. I picked her up from her hair appointment and she looked smoking hot. Then in the car, it was nice, good eye contact, smiles, etc. Then dinner, where we had good conversation. I held her hand on the way to the show.

Then during the movie, for the first 30 minutes, nothing. then I took her hand. We stroked each others' hands for the next hour. Then we walked back to my car at the parking ramp. We had nice casual conversations the whole way. Then we drove about 10 minutes back to where her car was parked. I pulled up behind her car, and we did some making out (a bit more than last time) in my car for about 10-15 minutes. During this time, i did tell her that I missed her. She then said "me too, but isn't it so nice when we are able to get together?" I said "yeah, I wish our schedules weren't so crazy and we could see each other more." She said "yeah, once I work days (in 2 weeks) I can go out any night."

GET THIS: She knows my birthday is this week and kept saying stuff like "we'll have to take a raincheck and do something special for your birthday". She even says she likes the idea of me cooking for her (which I brought up from an earlier email). But I think it is all bull****. She knows I am doing nothing tomorrow night, and she didn't suggest anything whatsoever. Why after three dates is she avoiding seeing me two nights in a row?

I am sad, frustrated and annoyed right now. I just don't think she likes me like I like her. I think she likes to go on nice dates with me and be kissed, but she seems unwilling to initiate or do anything else.

What to do? Sigh.

 

[(JJ)]

Telling her you missed her? :nono: BAD.
You two are NOT married. She has NOT been out of your life for years on end.

Who cares if you don't see her but once a week? Let some mystery exist. For God's sake, you've only been out three times.

QUIT being "sad, frustrated, annoyed." That translates to resent and neediness which will shoot your budding relationship right through its heart. Why are you so sad frustrated and annoyed? Because you've got no other options and you're putting all of your stock into one prospect. Get some other plates spinning and go out with your friends some and quit worrying so much about this one girl. If you start worrying too much about one girl too soon, problems ensue.

The most important thing I can tell you in this interaction (from the limited background information you've given) is that you appear to be coming across as a bit needy. Remember the rule. In any relationship, the person that needs the other person less is the one that controls that relationship.

 

[ronp78]

i will admit

that i sometimes look at her in a "longing" way, but i have tried very hard to NOT say anything needy or clingy.

I really just want some clarity / resolution.

I almost asked her tonight "what are you thinking about us?"

But held back with all my power and did NOT ask it.

 

[(JJ)]

Well it shouldn't be such a struggle. You going out and talking to other girls and other people in general will make it less so.

What is there to clarify? She has a lower interest level in you than you have in her. The way to fix that is to push-pull, give some attention, then take it away. Use the stuff on this website. And go talk to other girls. Geesh.

"What is she thinking about y'all?" She's thinking it's fun to have a guy that takes her out to dinner and movies and then kisses her. I'd be willing to bet that you're pretty good looking/you demonstrate that you have some money. Now you're as far as that stuff is gonna take you with this girl. Find some game and then use it, or else she's gonna be a lost cause.