Master Don Juan
- Jul 16, 2006
- Reaction score
- the great beyond
I was trolling the interwebs and found this posted by a Christian wife. Seems reasonable enough.
How to Control Your Wife's Behavior by Being a Pack Leader
Is your wife doing a behavior that you don't approve of? Does she pull
you around? Do you feel that you can't control her? Is it hard to
take items (pretty things) away from her without being bitten (not
literally of course)?To solve all the symptoms, we must get to the
root of the matter. Your wife is most likely thinking that she is the
pack leader, or at least she is confused about who is the pack leader.
When you claim leadership, the wife is free and content to be a happy
1. Good Reasons to be a Pack Leader
- Your wife will remain well-behaved, even around other women who may or
- may not be.
- Your wife will learn to respect your possessions.
- Reduces constant barking (or whining).
- Your wife will be less anxious and nervous.
- Your wife will be happier and more content
2. Learn to Think like a Woman
3. Learn the Pack Mentality
- Realize that there are some areas where women do think like men, and
some areas where they do not. This is important because often men will
reinforce negative behavior without knowing it.
- Realize that women live in the present much more than men do. Just
because a woman has done something for a while, doesn't mean that she
can't change. In the same way, just because a woman has had a tough
upbringing, or might have been abused, doesn't mean that she can't be
rehabilitated into a loving, calm wife.
- Women do not have guilt or pity in their mindsets/thinking. If a man
expresses these emotions, a woman will interpret them as weakness.
Women can be given affection without being touched. A look can also
- Women have different levels of excitability that they progress
through. A problem woman that goes into a frenzy in certain situations
cannot be corrected when she has reached her highest level of
intensity. You must correct at the lower levels to prevent her from
becoming out of control.
A pack leader ... (I recognize some of these are more a wife's
- Women have a pack mentality (or herd mentality). If you have a wife,
you are a member of the same pack that she is.
- If a husband shows weakness when he first brings her into their pack,
the wife will often try to become the pack leader herself.
- There will always be a pack leader. If you make sure that it is you,
then you'll be able to control your wife in any situation because they
will look to you to see how they should react.
- A woman will try to become the pack leader if no one else is.
- Consider women in a pack (think women and their girlfriend cliques;
think how one woman in that group always tends to be the leader and
the other women follow whatever she does). Women are happier when they
know their place in the pack. Your wife will be more content and happy
when you consistently behave like a pack leader. If you allow your
wife to be leader in the home, but want to be the leader in other
areas, you will frustrate your wife. (The trick, as a husband, is
becoming that one popular woman in the girlfriend clique who she will
realm, deciding about dinner, etc.)
4. Be Calm and Assertive When Dealing with Your Wife
- Decides where the pack will go.
- Decides when the pack will eat.
- Decides who gets what food.
- Decides who is allowed to bark (whine) and when (if at all).
- Decides when the pack is allowed to play (decides when to separate
business from pleasure).
- Decides what the pack is allowed to play with (decides who are
appropriate friends that will exert good influences).
- Decides how other members of the pack must behave (decides how the
family should behave).
- Decides who owns what.
- The rest of the pack is not resentful of how this works. To them, it
is normal. If you modify your behavior to fit to this model (when
relating to your wife), your wife will be content because her pack is
working the way her instincts say it should. ( I think that is
particularly interesting, about how her instincts say it should work,
NOT how society says it should).
- When pack leaders correct children in their pack, they are rarely
aggressive, but just assertive. Men must learn this combination of
calm assertiveness to master their role as the pack leader
5. Be the Pack Leader
- Assertive is different than aggressive.
If your wife knows voice commands, use them:
- Only in firm tones.
- Don't use a high-pitched voice.
- Don't speak in a cutesy voice, like you would to a baby.
- Do not speak in anger.
- Don't say it as if you are asking the wife a question.
- If you give a command and you know your wife is purposefully ignoring
you, stop giving the command, you're just making it worse.
- If you have seen Star Wars, the "Jedi mind trick" is a good example of
calm assertiveness. Not the waving of hands, but the firmness and
calmness of the tone of voice.
- A less dominant man can become the leader of many much larger and
stronger woman. It is a matter of attitude, not physical power or
Ways you can convey to your wife that you are the pack leader:
- Exit the house first when you go out. Enter first when you go in.
- Sit at the head of the table.
- Let your wife know what behaviors you, as the pack leader, don't like.
- Be consistent to correct any behavior that you don't want. Your wife
will be confused if sometimes you correct her, and sometimes you
- Be assertive, but not aggressive.
- Do not yell at your wife. If you think you have to, you are doing
- Share affection as much as you want, but only when your wife is in a
calm, submissive state of mind.
- Women usually want to please men. Be consistent, so they understand
what you expect of them.
- Be consistent. It will help your wife learn more quickly, and help
them to trust you.