How to control my hot-headed friend...(a bit long)

[The Comeback Kid]

Alright - I have a tricky situation with one of my friends and I need your help.

This guy is my good friend, but not one of my "best" friends. Usually, he is mellow, calm and quiet. SO, he has a girlfriend from another school (like 2 hours away), and I like to tease him a little bit about it because he is ALWAYS talking to her on the phone, or just talking about her (good-natured teasing). Usually, he seems to take it all in good fun.

Here's the main point of dilemna - he comes in today saying how his gf is "Class President" at her school - and he says this a few times. So, to tease him about it, I call him "President" with a little salute (in honor of his gf) and he explodes - usually he doesn't really do anything or say that he really is pissed off if he was. He starts pushing me, but it's not like I was really getting moved or leveled around all too much (he's huge, but more on that in a minute) and getting in my face. I pushed back a bit jsut to get him out of my face, but I didn't plan on making things any bigger - I was trying to contain him. I had two other friends around (no one else was really there) and a fight wasn't really worth it (more on that in a minute too). This guy thinks I was "chickening out" of a fight - which wasn't really the case.

Unfortunately, I can't really get into a fight unless he tosses me down or punches me because in my case, I lose a lot of things if I get into a fight, a lot more than most other people (my track season for half of next year, one of most important college reccomendations and some other really privliges I have with the school that really help me with college). If he was to punch me or throw me down first, then I can consider it "self-defense" and I shouldn't get in trouble.

Also, I really hate getting into fights (I haven't yet though). It's not like I'd necessarily lose, but it's just not worth it. If I get confronted, I usually jsut walk away (notice "walk" and not "run"). This kid, who was my "friend" has about 7 inches on me and 60 pounds. (he's 6'1", 190-200lbs, I am 5'6", 135 lbs) He's not fat, but he's not all muscular either - I discovered today he's a little weaker than he looks. My buddy runs up to me and tells me this kid ten times my size wants to "talk" to me, and that he sounded really mad (yes, it was him). Some other kids that know him well told me his anger at me is driving him crazy and is affecting him - he can't really think clearly.

I can figure out a way to fight him if I really had to, although with his size, it would be tough. He's big and decently strong (a lot of that because he's big), but he's slow and a bit clumsy (not really clumsy though). I'm a lot faster, quicker and more athletic than him and I can probably take him down if I tackle him. I just can't let him hit me in the head with a big punch or I may be down. The problem is he is quite a bit bigger than me.

What helps me though is that not too many people really know him while I would consider myself decently popular. That means I am friends (not buddies, but friends) with the captain of the football team, as well as a bunch of other guys from the football team and a few other guys that would probably intimidate him (some are smaller, but stronger and more aggresive). That would only happen if I am certain he would sucker-punch me when I am at a disadvantageous postion (like if I'm at my locker getting my books). I don't want them to fight or anything, but if he sees me with one or two of them (at least one that would put him at a disadvantage), he'll back off for sure.

He is not a bully or anything like that, but I really don't want to get into a fight with anyone. I can defend myself, but even if I win the fight, I still lose because I many of the things I do that colleges like will be gone, as well as half my track season where I may be the Captain next year. I can slither away from him during a fight and be fine, as long as I don't get hit hard first.

What should I do? My goal here is to avoid a fight at all costs since it's just really not worth it, even though if I start out hard and fast, I may beat him.

P.S. Talking to him first thing on Monday on my own may not be the best idea - he may try to start something...

 

[Jay-X]

i'll never believe that somebody you know pretty well is going to fight you just for calling him "president"... i think you forgot something

 

[Bling]

Originally posted by Jay-X
i'll never believe that somebody you know pretty well is going to fight you just for calling him "president"... i think you forgot something

I know a dip**** like his case. I would be fun with him, and pick on him for random reasons and he was mellow about it. Just one day he just exploded. He threw a pen at me. I laughed. People are just weird. Your buddy shouldn't take **** from you. He should've pushed you earlier.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Originally posted by Jay-X
i'll never believe that somebody you know pretty well is going to fight you just for calling him "president"... i think you forgot something

You'd be surprised. Apparently, he is pretty damn pissed. When my buddy gave me the "head's up" that the guy is still mad, he sounded like my friend was going koo-koo with anger. I've made some other little jokes like this one before (just to tease him), but maybe it built up and this one must have drove him over the edge - no real warnings either. Maybe it will have cooled down by Monday, but I sware I saw smoke coming out of his ears . I don't know what I forgot though Jay-X...

Originally posted by Bling
I know a dip**** like his case. I would be fun with him, and pick on him for random reasons and he was mellow about it. Just one day he just exploded. He threw a pen at me. I laughed. People are just weird. Your buddy shouldn't take **** from you. He should've pushed you earlier.

I agree with what you're saying, the same thing seems to be happening here. He was all calm about it and BAM! - he comes out of nowhere. Like your "buddy" you mentioned, some people are just weird.

 

[Bling]

Originally posted by The Comeback Kid
I agree with what you're saying, the same thing seems to be happening here. He was all calm about it and BAM! - he comes out of nowhere. Like your "buddy" you mentioned, some people are just weird.

It wasn't a diss on you. Either he should've exploded earlier, or came back at you with his own. Odd dude.


I suggest just waiting it out. When he wants to talk, he'll talk and sort things out. If he doesn't, he's the one losing. If he starts shiat, you got your back covered.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Originally posted by Bling
It wasn't a diss on you. Either he should've exploded earlier, or came back at you with his own. Odd dude.


I suggest just waiting it out. When he wants to talk, he'll talk and sort things out. If he doesn't, he's the one losing. If he starts shiat, you got your back covered.

Don't worry - I knew you weren't dissing me .

It would be tough to avoid him early in the morning because, as I mentioned before, he does chill somewhat near my locker (right down a short hallway - he can see me coming). After that, it's basically clear sailing (if I get to my locker usual time before lunch).

His reaction is indeed odd. There's usually a transition or some obvious foreshadowing leading up to it. In this case, nothing. I don't want to give him the impression that I'm "avoiding" or "running away" from him, because I'm really not. It seems he is only real confident when he is in a "quieter" hallway, like where our lockers are since no one would really be there. It's like his home-field advantage.

If he was to go all the way to where I eat lunch, make a scene and go after me, there's no guaruntee he's making it out alright. Sure, my other friends are there too, but I do sit right near my friend on the football team (the Captain) and a few other guys I know pretty well who this guy wouldn't really want to face - that's my "home-field advantage :crackup: .

Hopefully, the kid gets it out of his system by the weekend - I don't feel I need a fight that even if I win, it can screw up the rest of my life.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

***UPDATE***

We came back to school, I was ready for anything, but nothing happened. I walked right by him and he didn't do anything. I was ready for a "comfrontation" if it came to that, but I guess it all blew over during the weekend.

The only negative thing about it is he won't talk to me and he is still mad, but I don't think that's SO bad - I mean he is one of my "friends", but not one of my better friends. I'll see if this finally blows over completely or if it doesn't - either way, I'm not really concerned.