How to bring up sex initially?

[RichardTheFrog]

Okay now everyone on Earth, male or female, is thinking about sex, even if in a subconscious level, every moment that they're alive.

But this doesn't mean it's always easy or appropriate to bring it up. But there have been several occasions recently when a perfect opportunity has come up, and I still didn't know what to say.

Example 1 from a couple months ago. Was at a bar, the bartender was acting a bit flirty with me or with everyone. I was looking at my phone and hiding the screen I think because I was looking at SA. She said that the way I'm hiding my phone makes it look like I'm looking at porn or something. This would be a perfect opportunity to talk about more sexual things with an attractive girl, but all I did was say something like "haha, no I'm just checking my email."

Example 2 was when I was getting pictures taken yesterday. The wardrobe consultant made a joke about something looking like porn lipstick that she wore one time. I just chuckled, then the subject changed.

Now keep in mind that I was classified as a huge CREEP due to that cyberstalking incident roughly 10 years ago, so I'm trying to get away from that.

But either way, those are two examples that I possibly could have progressed into something more if I knew what to say.

And I could list a million more examples of girls I meet online. Especially this site Miss Travel that I now go on frequently that I like better than SA.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Also, I think I have the problem of bringing it up TOO SOON.

But on the other hand, I don't want to become an asexual friend of theirs.

Like, I understand sex can be a very personal thing to a girl, but I'm not gonna get any by talking about my hobbies or what countries I've visited, or even how many houses I plan to flip or Lamborghini's I might buy.

Like "Mystery" says...

At SOME POINT, you have to hit on her. You have to tell her she has beautiful skin or beautiful hair or something like that and then go for it.

 

[Dash Riprock]

It's usually not a discussion you have like sports or politics. For me, if a date is going well, I'll invite them back to my place to watch tv and hang out. This usually happens by 2nd or 3rd date. Most women know what this means. 80% go for it. So, at my place I'll make some drinks and put on tv and immediately go in for a big kiss. If they keep their mouth closed a bit I'll say open it. Then I'll move to their neck and start rubbing their body a bit. Go slow! When they start getting into it (90% of the time), I'll let this roll a few minutes usually pushing them down so I can lay on or next to them and continue to caress and kiss them. After a few minutes, I'll simply say (not ask) "let's get more comfortable" at which point I'll get up and start walking upstairs. Then it's clothes off immediately, some foreplay, then the main event.

 

[Serenity]

There's no non-awkward way to bring it up through talk I think, unless circumstances allow it which is rare. Just escalate, they'll either stop you at some point (be cool with it) or they won't. I never asked about it, I just gradually increased the level of physical intimacy. Some times I was stopped, in which case I pull back a bit and carry on whatever else we did before. Other times it just progressed to wild sex.

You have to take action, but do tread carefully. You wouldn't want to force yourself onto them in any way, if they stop you then stop. If they want it they'll not offer resistance and will play along.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

There's no non-awkward way to bring it up through talk I think, unless circumstances allow it which is rare. Just escalate, they'll either stop you at some point (be cool with it) or they won't. I never asked about it, I just gradually increased the level of physical intimacy. Some times I was stopped, in which case I pull back a bit and carry on whatever else we did before. Other times it just progressed to wild sex.

You have to take action, but do tread carefully. You wouldn't want to force yourself onto them in any way, if they stop you then stop. If they want it they'll not offer resistance and will play along.

Another thing that makes it difficult is the fact that a lot of them like to act "innocent" when they're in public or when they first meet someone.

This is a stark contrast to the amount of sexual experience we all know they have.

 

[greatsnake]

I’ve never brought up the sex topic to someone I was interested in. What I usually do is go for the kiss and take it from there. Depending on her reaction, you proceed or step back.

 

[Serenity]

Another thing that makes it difficult is the fact that a lot of them like to act "innocent" when they're in public or when they first meet someone.

This is a stark contrast to the amount of sexual experience we all know they have.

First of all, let's be realistic here. You can't know they have a ton of experience. You can't operate on assumptions. Those who do have lots of sexual experience may act innocent, but that's no surprise given all the slutshaming happening. Not all are like that, but you can't tell the difference easily.

That is even beside the point. It doesn't matter how innocent she seems. It is only difficult if you think it is. You should have some entirely different assumptions than what you have now. You should assume sex is ok, it's entirely natural and any perceived weirdness about it is what's actually weird. You should assume that it's acceptable to attempt making advances, given that you can tolerate being turned down.

It's not difficult at all. Sex is entirely fvcking natural. They are the weird ones for thinking it's awkward, weird, uncomfortable or difficult. It's just not, people have been fvcking for thousands of years and now all of a sudden it's difficult? That's bullsh!t.

Btw, I thought you put me on ignore?

 

[RichardTheFrog]

I’ve never brought up the sex topic to someone I was interested in. What I usually do is go for the kiss and take it from there. Depending on her reaction, you proceed or step back.

True, but right now I'm talking to girls on a travel site. I'm not gonna get a 5 day AirBnB on a Caribbean island, then here... Let's be friends.

So I make sure they plan on sex every day, which all of them have so far.

Colombia is a long way to travel for some pu$$y, though. Last girl I talked to monogamously lived in Mexico. This was last year.

 

[greatsnake]

Is this a troll post? ^

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Btw, I thought you put me on ignore?

I took you off because the last thing you said was relevant. I don't remember why I had you on ignore, there's too many people to keep track of, and I do actually have a busy life outside this site.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Is this a troll post? ^

No.

MissTravel.com

This girl wants to go to the island of San Andres in the Caribbean for 5 days. She lives in Ecuador.

I also have 2 girls that want to vacation in Sao Paolo, and another in Manila. I could do this all day if I wanted to, but who can afford all these vacations AND a Lamborghini payment.

 

[greatsnake]

^ muted for good.

 

[devilkingx2]

bringing up sex as a topic is only hard if she doesn't like you or is a huge prude

make jokes about it, or ask questions that lightly broach the topic

think of it the way you'd figure out what to get someone as a birthday gift, you don't just straight up go "what do you want for your birthday?" or make it obvious by going "do you want XYZ?" you be more subtle like "far cry 5 came out yesterday, I wonder if it's more of the same like far cry 4 was, what do you think?"

in the same vein you don't go "anal, yay or nay?" you gotta show her a meme on facebook about eating ass and see if she cringes or laughs, you tell her about some weird sex position your friend saw in kamasutra and see if she goes "wow I wish I were that creative" or "why can't people just have sex laying down in a bed like normal?"

 

[Serenity]

I don't remember why I had you on ignore

Let's just call it philosophical differences regarding plastic surgery and pretty much everything else.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Let's just call it philosophical differences regarding plastic surgery and pretty much everything else.

Well I get to bust out my new girthy goods on 4/11.

I haven't even been able to jerk off since 2/28.

All work and no hookers makes Richard a dull boy.