How To Bed Goth Chicks: The 20 Secret Rules Of The Underworld

[ChapStick]

I'd bang a flip-flop wearing Abercrombie clone before some chick with issues, that dresses even more ****ty...

 

[drjekyll]

God damned goth kids. They all seem so depressed. They may be on average smarter then a regular person but they have a big flaw. There depression comes form there knowledge. They realize the wrong and how **** the world is. Why become a goth?

Because Goth chicks will do anything.

Twice.

 

[Firefly]

Writing as a non-goth who likes a lot of goth music, been involved with some goth chicks, etc., this is pretty much correct, except that US goths evidently tend to poseurs more than Brit goths.

You almost have to be goth to a "T" to hang in the goth scene here, unless you're really hot and/or pull off some other nonstandard, "interesting" style (glam, mod, beat, etc.) really well.

When I was an undergrad at uni, I hung out with a goth crowd and was pretty much accepted by all of them. I was a very clean cut asian guy who dressed like a preppie. I think the reason I was allowed to hang was the fact that nothing that they told me about the goth scene threw me, as well as the fact that goths can be quite pc at times and so would have been loath to ostracise a minority like myself ...

 

[squirrels]

Who wants to bed Goths?

 

[penkitten]

Who wants to bed Goths?

im waiting for a response too...

 

[Holland]

Rule 0: Never hit on a goth

 

[jesusrules]

very interesting, I never though of it like that. It was diffenelty a good read. Well done.

As far as me going to a Goth club, probably not any time soon, now im not saying I dont think there hot, there are some ive seen that were gorgeous.

Thanks buddy, it was very good.

 

[Vice]

Good read. Will be going to my first goth club night two days from now. Didn't know alot of this stuff. Will post results

 

[EA Gold]

Going into middle school I've known kids who were generally nice happy kids and a year later turn to this.. the third pic.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/69/Scott_Dyleski.png

My guess is they get into the wrong crowd, then end up hanging out with them at their houses where they see the gothic world of smoking, drinking, music and other things. The reason maybe the parents are divorced or didn't have a father growing up.

 

[Huffman]

Goth, Black Metal, Suicidal, Depressive. Different music, same kind of people (though they'd never admit!)
- Some HOT girls! (but often slutty with problems)
- All the guys are completely AFC, stand in the corner and talk about feeling bad

So yeah. I love Black/Death Metal etc, but I don't dress up to look like them. I feel bad for the guys there. I don't want to insult anyone, but it is a culture of losers. I used to be one of them, but that is a long time ago.

BUT, Even hot girls there are not used to getting gamed. If you got your stuff down then you're in for some EASY lays. Just don't be a wannabe poser and you're good to go.

P.S.: don't expect quality women

 

[Veridin]

Wow, old topic thread. But holy crap, look at this (surprisingly honest) list that drjekyll wrote. What I get from this is:

-pretentious
-immature
-can't get over their daddy issues and childhood dramas
-drug users
-vain
-mentally unstable
-KNOW the "goth" subculture is sick, so they even look down on it themselves
-gossipy

...In short, just plain immature. All of this screams attention wh0re and flake. I wouldn't go anywhere near girls in that subculture. I would wait for them to grow up and get out of it instead, as drjekyll says they do, other than the ones that are too stupid and "get destroyed by it" (do too many drugs I guess).

And hey, there are goodlooking women in most groups. I'll just stick to the normals.

I became a Goth while I was recovering from a psychotic episode.
...
Some, and arguably all of these people have very real problems with identity, with depression, with existential ANGST.
...
The Goth scene is extremely incestuous, and everybody knows everybody.
...
Everyone knows everyone. It will bite you in the ass.
...
If someone asks you if you are a Goth, deny it. No true goth would ever admit to being a Goth.
...
Also, if someone says something really Gothic (ie - "sometimes it hurts so much to be alive" or whatever) you can defuse the situation by shaking your head and saying "You are such a GOTH." Make sure you are dressed as a Goth when you say this, and try to cram some real contempt into the word Goth.
...
Read Jean-Paul Sartre's Nausea. Consider it homework. Once you've read it, never bring it up except to criticise Sartre's portrayal of the existential condition as simplistic and tired.
...
Different cliques abound. Look for the clique with the most beautiful MEN AND WOMEN. This is critically important. That clique is the top clique. If you can get into that clique, you will be extremely well proofed socially. Girls will talk to you just because you are associated with them.
...
Social proof is, by my estimate, at least ten times more important in a Goth club than in a normal club, and maybe more. As such, forget the chicks at first, unless you're really, really slick (solid, cool natural game works on everyone).
...
Discuss philosophy if you can. If you can't, read a book so that you can. Anything by a postmodernist/nihilist/French philosopher is good. Jean Baudrillaud combines all three.
...
Never, under any circumstances, say that you like Marilyn Manson. Goth chicks can get away with this. Goth men CANNOT. It is so mid-to-late 90's, darling.
...
Also, if you even mention the word "Evanescence" without a look of hatred and contempt on your face, you will probably be ejected from the club.
...
There is only one insult that can make a Goth punch you in the face, and that is calling him or her an Emo. Never do this. Never. It is not a neg. It is suicide.
...
A quick rule of thumb - The difference between a Goth and an Emo is the difference between a tragedy and a tantrum. Remember this.

There are a lot of gay men in the Goth scene. You will get propositioned by men. This will happen. Live with it.
...
No matter what you've taken, never pick up a glowstick, never dress in neon. The Goths who do this (Cybergoths) are the lowest of the low. Talking to them briefly is ok. Never hang out with them for too long, unless you are actually hitting on a hot Cybergoth chick.
...
You can ***** about anything. *****ing about stuff is what Goths do best. If you are dealing with hard stuff FEEL FREE TO TALK ABOUT IT BUT do not wallow in it unless you are very good friends with whatever Goth you're talking to and even then be as stoic as you can. They all have **** to deal with.
...
Goths do a lot of drugs. Speed is rife. Cocaine is rarer because few Goths are wealthy enough to feed a coke habit.
...
Most Goth hookups occur either a) in the toilets of a Goth Club or b) in an AFTERPARTY.
...
Goth chicks like the slender, Byronesque effeminate look. Eyeliner works extremely well for some guys.
...
True Goths don't want to be Goths, and as such look down on those who do.
...
Treat them with respect - but remember, they have all got low self esteem issues. They just carry them well. The problem is, if you supplicate, even slightly to a Goth, they will despise you more than they despise themselves, which is a lot.
...
My social standing skyrocketed after I ****ed this chick once. After that, my reputation preceeded me. It took the pressure off, I can tell you.
...
RULE 20: THE GOTH WORLD IS DANGEROUSLY AND SUBTLY DESTRUCTIVE. It is also not where you want to end up. All Goths eventually leave the scene, or are destroyed by it. This is not a joke. Watch yourself.

Too bad, I actually like The Crow and Evanescence. But only as passing entertainment. Goths would laugh at me. Oh well.

 

[Don Israel]

I also enjoy, some, tracks by Evanescence - Might I add that i'm far from being a "Goth"...

lol

I never knew they were frowned upon by a lot "Goths"





.

 

[Huffman]

Yeah "Goth" sounds gay anyway so don't worry
Just don't try to be like them. They're trying too hard to be special. You, on the other hand, don't even have to try.