How to become NON Superficial

[gimmeyofonenumba]

I've come to the conclusion that I'd like to be real. Non superficial. I wanna learn to not bull**** people and just completely be myself. What is the key step in heading in this direction? is it just completely speaking everything on my mind, that way i wont feel ashamed to hide any of my thoughts, thus making me real.

 

[oakraiderz2]

You dont have to disclose everything on your mind, thatd be retarded. Dont behave in certain ways just because others do and you want to fit it. Be yourself, as cliche as it is.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The one thing that I can say about most people who just speak their mind in order to be "real" is that more time than not they are tactless. Ever hear people brag about being "brutally honest?" Is it just me or does anyone else find it hard to believe that anything which is brutal could be a good thing?

I suggest figuring out who you are in the first place. How are you going to be genuine with anyone if you're not yet genuine with yourself? Then stop worrying about how people will react to you whether or not you always speak what's on your mind. What really matters is how you feel about yourself; you're in control of that, not anyone else.

 

[DonGorgon]

Superficial is often seen as cool. and essential if you are going for young hotties.. If you are going for women over 35 then you can be more real.

 

[Interceptor]

Gimme,

the strongest motivator one canhave to be authentic is when one finally realizes one's Self Worth and Value.
If you are comfortable with WHO you are and WHAT you can give to others, and realize that you don't really NEED as many bells and whistles to attract a good, caring woman, you will feel more calm, and composed, and self assured, and still be humble and confident.

When you speak with a woman, speak to get to know HER, not try to impress her or try to get her to like you.
When you are 'transparent' and have no outcome dependency, in that you dont see her as a Goal, you will be surprised how women shift gears and start to open up to you, and let you in their world. They will be intrigued by how calm, and self assured you are, and want to know why and WHO you are.

Women want a 'soft place to fall' yes, but they want to know that a man has the strength to handle them as well. It is like Yin and Yang.
But many men come on too strong, or not strong enough.
And they view women as a goal to be achieved, and they have this agenda to secure their 'future wife', when that woman is actually really frustrated that no man wants to get to know the real her, behind that social persona.

If you are authentic, she will be taken off guard, and if she really values honesty and sincerity, she may be up to the challenge of reciprocating being authentic with you,and you may have the opportunity for some incredible rapport and sexual chemistry as well.

Really really think about this.

Women often complain that men approach them insincerely.
They have this very indirect approach, which makes some women feel like they're not being honest with their desire for them.
sometimes being 'different' is merely really being authentically yourself, calm, relaxed, self assured, confident, and able to not take yourself too seriously, see the real her, see through her persona and facade, and make an effort to connect to that woman deep inside, the one that she lost touch with, the one who wants to feel 'seen'.

 

[reset]

sometimes being 'different' is merely really being authentically yourself, calm, relaxed, self assured, confident, and able to not take yourself too seriously, see the real her, see through her persona and facade, and make an effort to connect to that woman deep inside, the one that she lost touch with, the one who wants to feel 'seen'.

Good stuff. I like your observation on woman as goal, I need to think about that.