"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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How to become more social? (My college orientation experience)

Locster

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So earlier this week i attended college orientation and it was cool but the main problem i had was meeting new people. Even though mostly everybody was social and willing to meet new people I had trouble socializing with them. Something inside just keeps from acting like a normal social person would. Even when people would approach me i would act cold even though I a cool guy, im just shy when it comes to people i dont know. I basically didnt socialize in the whole 2 days i was there. I need to find a way to lay back and not really care about other people's perception of me. What are things i can do to change this problem?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Ice Cold

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Don't expect to develop anything immediately. Just ask some questions about them. Tell them that you like something about them... Tell about yourself.

Orientation is supposed to be a blur. Later when you actually go to classes you'll see the people and say: "Hey, I saw you at the orientation!"
 

sparky0000

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College sucks. It did for me at least.

Orientation was not so hot. I was pretty much urinating every 3 minutes (I get that way when I am nervous). I knew zero people. It seemed that everyone knew at least a few people. Not me. A few people came up to me and I stuttered and stammered until they gave up and left me. I spent most of the time (when not urinating) talking on the phone to my Mother. Yes, my Mother. There were a few "studs" who were talking to girls. I think most of them are married now and hating life...lol.

If you want to know how my college years went just ask. I doubt yours will be as ugly as mine were.

BTW, don't chase after the girls. Study Russian instead. ;) You will not be sorry. I promise you.
 

Ace of Flames

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sparky0000 said:
College sucks. It did for me at least.

Orientation was not so hot. I was pretty much urinating every 3 minutes (I get that way when I am nervous). I knew zero people. It seemed that everyone knew at least a few people. Not me. A few people came up to me and I stuttered and stammered until they gave up and left me. I spent most of the time (when not urinating) talking on the phone to my Mother. Yes, my Mother. There were a few "studs" who were talking to girls. I think most of them are married now and hating life...lol.

If you want to know how my college years went just ask. I doubt yours will be as ugly as mine were.

BTW, don't chase after the girls. Study Russian instead. ;) You will not be sorry. I promise you.
Um.... no. Just no.

Nothing in that post was helpful. You just sound like you're complaining. How does that help him? You didn't have a single word of encouragement or advice, and.... study Russian? What does that do for you? Unless you plan to live in an area with people that speak Russian, which I imagine very few people in LA do... then its a waste of money and time that could better be spent on other classes in college.

Now, on topic: No worries bro. I just had my orientation as well, and I had a few of the same experiences. It seemed that lots of people knew at least 1 other person, while I didn't. But I didn't let that stop me. I just talked to the people that sat next to me, and I even went farther and did a # close on the first day! I agree with the notion that orientation is just a flood of info and people and everything coming at you. But I also think that once school gets started and we've been around it all for a while, everything will calm down and get easier. If you live on campus, you'll most likely get a roommate, and that's your first friend. If he knows some people already, get introduced. Then you'll have a small network, and you can build on that if/when you want.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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FightinTiger

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you'd be surprised. most of them have never met before.

I went up to this group of people that were laughing and carrying on like they had known each other since kindergarden. it turns out they had all met that night and just sort of stuck together. so, I joined in with them.

so, don't feel out of place. just find some people. chances are, they just recently met each other, as well, and are very open to newcomers.
 

Locster

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what are steps i can take to help my problem of talking to strangers?

i am a social guy when i know people i just have trouble starting conversations with strangers
 

Ace of Flames

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Just ask a question. Ask for directions to a place, even if you know how to get there. Ask for opinions on local hangouts. Ask what time it is.

Anything to start the convo, and then you can take it where you want.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

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