How to become COOL like ME !

[Daddy The Pimp]

Just go out, approach, socialize and everything else is going to take care itself. 1 year max.



PS: I almost forgot. Don't take this sh1t seriously. Its a fvcking game, if you don't like playing it, GTFO.

 

[ELMER_GANTRY]

I agree, a lot of guys take it way too serious and as a result they lack confidence or wind up second guessing themselves. You have to think of YOURSELF FIRST and be the man you want to be and let women see that successful man. Too many guys try to appease women and they wind up getting burned. They should be coming to YOU and if you give off that confident presence that you display it should make them want you. If you try too hard, women see that and it ruins your game. She should want YOU and that is the attitude to develop. So feel confident in all your abilities with your speaking skills, your body language, and how you carry yourself, and women and also men will notice how confident and secure you are and you will have great success meeting new women, making new friends, and being successful at your job, and with everything you do. The mind works wonders so start thinking with it and feel good about yourself and be confident in whatever you do and it will pay off.

I care about homosexual men

...

 

[moneyisking]

you are right, but i think human mind is not as simple as that. anyone can think to himself "i am going to... ______", but you know, I realize we are very complicated beings. How awesome would it be if you just thought to yourself "she should want me, I am the focus", "she's not on the pedestal, I am" and you would automatically be the DJ. It's not that simple. NOT trolling or anything; you recall times when you were really depressed or pissed off, you tell yourself, I am good, I am out of it, but your mind somehow don't want to be happy almost? I think you're actually blessed if you can be that simple and have awesome life. Most people can't do that, not b/c we don't want to, but mostly b/c our mind, subconscious and body are all interrelated.

 

[Doctrine Dark]

I definitely agree.

What I dislike about myself is how confident and ready I feel about doing this every time I'm on here reading about the game or field reports, but when I'm actually faced with the opportunity (girl making intense eye contact with me, cute girl sitting near me, etc) to do something, no matter how perfectly laid out it is for me, I get a stomach ache or get really cold inside and back down or just assume the girl doesn't want to be annoyed by me or something, which is a baseless assumption on my part.

A bad feeling. I want to overcome it.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Just keep forcing yourself to do it until your comfortable. This can be applied to anything in life.

 

[ELMER_GANTRY]

moneyisking,

You are already thinking with a negative mind. You just said "can't" so you have already put those thoughts in your mind. You don't have to be good looking to be confident. You just have to adapt yourself to become that way and it starts with the mind and a positive outlook.

I know two guys from work, one is a fat slob and is very ugly. He is a very confident man. In fact he has more confidence than most good looking guys I know. He worked hard and achieved success and believed in himself to get there. He now is a multi-millionaire and has great success with women because of his money, but it is his attitude and presence that draws people to him. If he didn't develop that mind attitude when he was getting there and working hard he would not be the successful guy he is.

The other guy is not rich, average looking, and had no confidence in himself. He was a follower and got lost in the background among other people. He didn't like who he was, he felt like he was missing something and realized that his mind was holding him back. He started believing in himself and all the postive qualities that he had in himself. He used those to his advantage and started thinking with a different outlook. He believed that he was a better man, he believed that people should look up to him, he felt he was a leader, and he knewthat he could accomplish so many things. It was his mind holding him back because he had a fear of rejection or standing up and expressing himself. He quit thinking like that, got his mind working with positive thinking, made himself a better man, got some confidence in himself, and didn't care what others thought about him. He is one of my bosses now and is a sucessful man. He did that on his own because he believed in himself.

Every person I know has positive qualities in them, doesn't matter who they are, or what they are. You have them. You have to know what they are yourself and use them to your advantage out in the real world. But, you have to start with yourself first. It may take a while but you are changing yourself and your total outlook first. You have to be THE MAN, the guy people look at and say "hey, that guy looks cool, confident, knows what he's doing." and they will want to get to know you and with women it will work like a charm. trust me. but you have to start making yourself a different person and it all starts with the mind. Don't say you can't do that because those two guys did it, and they, are very successful and you can do it to. You just have to believe in yourself and be the person that women want to talk to and get to know. It all starts with the mind and is the only way you can break your bad habits.

I care about homosexual men

...

 

[ELMER_GANTRY]

I definitely agree.

What I dislike about myself is how confident and ready I feel about doing this every time I'm on here reading about the game or field reports, but when I'm actually faced with the opportunity (girl making intense eye contact with me, cute girl sitting near me, etc) to do something, no matter how perfectly laid out it is for me, I get a stomach ache or get really cold inside and back down or just assume the girl doesn't want to be annoyed by me or something, which is a baseless assumption on my part.

A bad feeling. I want to overcome it.

You can do that Doctrine Dark. You are thinking things about yourself and the girl that are not true. You assume them, in your mind, and then you get the stomach ache, and you feel cold, and you think she doesn't want to talk to you. Those are probably not true at all. You think all that with your mind, and you act that way, and that is what you need to overcome.

Why wouldn't that girl want to talk to you? You're an interesting confident guy. She is looking at you, making eye contact, sitting close, smiling, all positive signs because you're an interesting and confident guy she wants to talk to. That is what you think with your mind. All those positive traits about you. And then you let her know you are that guy with your body language and how you talk with her, then she will see that about you right away and then you get her number.

you are confident on here....that is a great start. you are reading and learning and you are conditioning yourself to be that confident guy. Now all you have to do is apply all that knowledge when you go out and see that girl or any girl you come across. Everything you have learned before and all the inner and outer confidence you now have will shine through and everybody will be able to see it. Just apply everything on here to the outside and you will be successful.

I care about homosexual men

...

 

[Doctrine Dark]

Thanks, AJ. Just gotta learn to deal with the scary factor.

Thanks a lot, Elmer. I needed to read that for my own sanity. And I agree with it wholeheartedly. This has been a problem I've dealt with my entire life and I just want to break free of it. I never seem to look at the potential "positive" outcome, only the "negative", and it's hurting me. I honestly believe I'm my own worse enemy 100% of the time.

Funny thing is the other day, me and this girl shared a good amount of eye contact in the computer lab of my school, and overall, I got a pretty nice vibe from her. Unfortunately, she ended up leaving before me, so I just chalked it up to my lack of aggressiveness and assumed I'd never see her again.

I was way off. No less than 15 mins later when I get to the subway to start making my way home, I see her come in about 2 mins later, look in my direction, and sit right near me. Now, she had headphones on and was reading a book, but we were still sharing some glances.

Anyway, she gets on the train and I do as well, albeit a different car. Once we get off at the same stop, we make eye contact again, but this time she looks at me with a sad look and just kept going. I was also going in the same direction as her, but this time she took the headphones off and I had the perfect opportunity (no one else was around) to approach, yet I just couldn't for the life of me say a measly "hello" to this nice looking woman.

I usually just end up writing off a situation like that as a "fantasy", believing I made all of the sequences up in my mind to make myself believe that was what was going on when it wasn't, but deep in my heart, I know I'm just trying to make an excuse for myself.

To be honest, I wanted to cry because of how low and pathetic I've felt, but I just kept it in. This has literally happened to me over a 100 times, and sometimes with even stronger signs of attraction, but I just assume they're being nice because that's likely who they are around everyone. I just find countless excuses as to why they're really not attracted to me and often use those to justify my lack of an approach.

Really, Elmer, thanks for the wonderful post. I just hope I can start applying this mindset in my daily life because I want to improve and become a better person instead of being isolated.

 

[ELMER_GANTRY]

Thanks, AJ. Just gotta learn to deal with the scary factor.

Thanks a lot, Elmer. I needed to read that for my own sanity. And I agree with it wholeheartedly. This has been a problem I've dealt with my entire life and I just want to break free of it. I never seem to look at the potential "positive" outcome, only the "negative", and it's hurting me. I honestly believe I'm my own worse enemy 100% of the time.

Funny thing is the other day, me and this girl shared a good amount of eye contact in the computer lab of my school, and overall, I got a pretty nice vibe from her. Unfortunately, she ended up leaving before me, so I just chalked it up to my lack of aggressiveness and assumed I'd never see her again.

I was way off. No less than 15 mins later when I get to the subway to start making my way home, I see her come in about 2 mins later, look in my direction, and sit right near me. Now, she had headphones on and was reading a book, but we were still sharing some glances.

Anyway, she gets on the train and I do as well, albeit a different car. Once we get off at the same stop, we make eye contact again, but this time she looks at me with a sad look and just kept going. I was also going in the same direction as her, but this time she took the headphones off and I had the perfect opportunity (no one else was around) to approach, yet I just couldn't for the life of me say a measly "hello" to this nice looking woman.

I usually just end up writing off a situation like that as a "fantasy", believing I made all of the sequences up in my mind to make myself believe that was what was going on when it wasn't, but deep in my heart, I know I'm just trying to make an excuse for myself.

To be honest, I wanted to cry because of how low and pathetic I've felt, but I just kept it in. This has literally happened to me over a 100 times, and sometimes with even stronger signs of attraction, but I just assume they're being nice because that's likely who they are around everyone. I just find countless excuses as to why they're really not attracted to me and often use those to justify my lack of an approach.

Really, Elmer, thanks for the wonderful post. I just hope I can start applying this mindset in my daily life because I want to improve and become a better person instead of being isolated.

You are on the right track wating to be better and that is where it
starts. You have the knowledge and now you need the experience out there to be successful.

Don't let the opportunities keep passing you by. She was interested and had all the signs. You saw that. So, now you make it happen with your confidence and your ability. no more excuses and don't feel bad. forget about that because that will be a negative in your mind. Start fresh and positive. Next time you see a girl and she looks at you just get confident and say to yourself "hey, this girl likes me, she wants to talk to me, she is interested in me." then with your confident self start talking. Doesn't matter if the first couple of time you are nervous or your confidence still isn't high. It won't be until you gain experience. And by doing that, you go up and talk to them and when you succeed you will feel awesome and each time after that will be more and more natural.

In fact, I suggest to you is try that tomorrow or the next day. Just start a convo with a girl. Go to a store or whatever and practice on a random stranger. then when you see a girl who gives you signs then you will be ready and more confident and won't have any mental blocks.

It starts with the mind and remember to start thinking like you are the man that people admire and want to associate with.

I care about homosexual men

...

 

[Doctrine Dark]

Agreed completely, dude.

Like you and DTP said earlier: you just have to not take it seriously. I believe once I realize that something as normal as socializing with women is something that should be considered fun instead of an intense training regimen, I'll feel much better.

I will definitely try that suggestion next chance I get. This is my biggest fear by far, but at a certain point, you just have to face your fears directly in order to conquer them. I'm ready to do just that so I can finally start living life without countless regrets. Once again, thanks for the encouraging words, Elmer.

 

[moneyisking]

thanks for that dude... you are right, i have been negative, and it is hard to come out of this state after what happened about 5 weeks ago, and has been a downhill, but I need to get back in my game, where I used to be happy and confident. Thanks