People are to hung up on 'changing' themselves, when the real punchline is IMPROVE yourself. And improving yourself does NOT constitute using sleaze and cheap 'tactics' to get women into your sack (sry guys, reality check here).
You obviously put some time into posting this topic. On this i want to commend you. There are a lot of things however that you are seeing to radical.
For one. Neediness is something EVERY HUMAN BEING on this planet has to some extent. Most of us NEED sex, we NEED social life etc. These are all things we need from someone else. IF you want to practice total detachment, i suggest you join the nearest Buddhist order because as far as i know, they are the only people on the planet who are even attempting to reach a state of total detachment. For us mere mortals, such things are not achievable.
The keyword here is 'balance', the road down the middle. You don't have to be bedding hundreds of women to feed you ego, this is unhealthy at best. On the other hand, you don't need to exclude romance and attraction from your life altogether either. These are extremes, and extremes are never healthy to roam around in.
Committing to someone is a big risk. It always has been and always will be. Everyone here who has ever committed to anyone for an extended amount of time knows this. You are after all committing to a person who is less then perfect. They have their flaws (as do you) and those flaws may lead to betrayal and heartbreak. When you commit, you acknowledge and accept this fact. You leap and hope to reach the other side.
It sounds to me as if you are still on the rebound from a bad case of the blues. I'm happy you decided to find your contentment elsewhere, this is very good, you SHOULD. Enjoy your life, create the life you want, grind rock with your bare hands if that's what it takes to achieve it. But also realize that sooner or later you will have to come back down from this. You CAN be a celibate for the rest of your life, if you want to... just make sure it actually makes you HAPPY and it's not driven by fear or phobia (because mostly it IS)...
If you really want to practice detachment, than practive detachment from RESULT. Do not approach women with the idea for it to go anywhere, just enjoy the time you spent with her. The same goes for relationships. Enter a relationship detached from the outcome, maybe it's heartache maybe it's happily ever after, it doesn't matter, enjoy the time together. Remember the good moment, learn from the bad ones. This is a 'technique' you can practise in EVERY aspect of your life. This in no way constitutes that you can't have a 'goal'. You goal can be to make love to a woman, this is fine, just do not cling to that goal...
I think in time, you will look back quite differently on your 'failed' relationship. You will look back at it as a happy experience with alot of learning value... But maybe you just need some more time.