How to be quiet and mysterious at the same time??

[AFK Protector]

Originally posted by drumr2
You often see (in movies and such) that the quiet/mysterious types usually peak the interest of the girls.

Sorry dude. You gotta get it outta your head that you'll never be an undercover power ranger with cool powers and dinosaur robots. MOVIES ARE NOT REAL. Unless they say "based on a true life story" but still, its exaggerrated.

Please don't take this the wrong way. I wanted to be James Bond you know? But I was like, "DAMN! I'm asian "

jp jp. But thing is, we all wanna be something that isn't real and therefore isn't us. So if you're comfortable being that way, calm, cool, collected, even mysterious, then so be it. But don't try to be that way just because some fake in a movie scored because of it. Hope this helped.

 

[drumr2]

That's good advice, and I understand what you're saying. ALthough, it wouldn't be too far of a stretch for me to be this way. I usually am very distant, and it's because I generally don't like to get too close to people.

So, at first I always come off this way. The problem is that I generally give off a weak, depressed kind of vibe, and the nice types will warm up to me to make me feel more comfortable. My initial reaction to this is to be immediately flattered, and I instantly open up to everyone, and tell them all my life story in some beautiful, magical moment. (I know....total AFC...but not anymore!)

So, this time I'll go in like usual, only I wont let anyone open me up. I'll utilize my cynasism and wit to steer people away from personal questions, and stay my ground. I used to always think that opening up to people (especially in groups) would be a way to conjure up interest from them...including the women. I was wrong, and my failures in these types of situations only prooves that fact.

So, wish me luck.......

 

[ScrewIt]

im not sure if this is how it works for everyone, but i find that having this side of nature... Calm and mysterious, yet sociable
you are usually more respected by guys and girls compared to those that may talk a lot boisterously.

there are times where i may do some fluff talk or short chat with someoen, then at other times, i may just be quiet and have my **** together...like im busy doing something, or am thinking of something. i do this at work, at school, with friends, etc.

i believe with the looks and this kind of attitude, you can be intimidating. im not ugly, and i've had this attitude almost my whole life so yea it can be quite intimidating. ppl may not even bother talking to you, because your intimidation makes it seem like you're a very busy person (have a lot going on), which possibly you're already put up on the pedestal by guys and girls.

about 3 semesters ago the girl i dindt talk to for the whole term came up to me at the end of the semester and started showing interest...of course i was AFCish bacdk then and answered her questions, of course she's pretty egotistic so she turned out to be a *****.

but one thing for a fact is that having this attitude will get you more respect compared to a loudmouth that talks crap all the time of what he's capable of....which one of my friends is that loudmouth.
but i think another reason that these types of ppl are respected is that they
#1 cool, calm, collected (got their **** together)
#2 arent annoying (not al oud mouth)
#3 arent needy (as in bugging someone if tthey wanna do stuff w/him, or just bugging them in general)
#4 seem like there's more to them than they seem, have already set their goals in life (like you're a very capable person)

altho im sure #4 is the strongest reason why are a mysterious person, cause you emit that vibe which makes ppl wonder what you're capable of

i find this is more of a personality characteristic, if this is not you then it simply isnt. dont try to act it or fake it if it isnt you cause ppl can tell easily.

back when i was a kid i was generally more reserved, deep thinker, and less sociable.
but i guess as i got older , this type of personality evolved, which made me mysterious, 3 c's, socializer (but not a loud mouth), and just interesting in general.

but yea, the strong silent type just emits this kind of aura to ppl that ppl respect

 

[drumr2]

Yep...I know what you're saying.

In fact, I've had plenty of people tell me that when their first impression of me was that I was stuck-up and/or pre-occupied, and therefore they didn't approach. So I know that I've got something to this nature, I just have to hone it properly, and steel it in the right direction.

I don't want to seem too arrogant or pre-occupied to be approached, but I'm definitely not gonna be the needy AFC I was before!

 

[Tails]

DJ Alejandro,

yeah, lol. one night when i met these two random girls, i pulled a squall on them. my friend and i parked up at the end of a street where there was a park. these girls we had just mad tagged along. i walked a few meters away, kneeled down and looked up at the sky (it was nice, stars and all), both the girls came to me... and just looked. i got up and moved away from them. they followed me again and said: "stop moving away."

after that we all went to the park nearby and they would not leave me alone. being that way really works. and yeah, i think his character was really powerful. sometimes i wish i was just like that naturally. i don't know how someone could make themselves that way though. he only got hurt once when he was a kid. i've been hurt many times... i was still a happy guy. i got over it. i guess he really had a strong point with the part of letting people into his life and his head got fuked up during the years. but i really think you can still be mysterious even being funny and social. it's fun too. i think a guy like squall at school would get teased big time, including the fact he looks kinda gay. so that game wasn't THAT realistic. the story would of been much different.

 

[ScrewIt]

what's up with being hurt and stuff?

my scholarship advisor, which i know quite well and have occasional chats with. he said along the line i was hurt. i go wtf i havent been hurt before, at least i dont think so.

so anyway he thinks im not telling him something or hiding something from him. but the truth is im not.....or i just dont know what kind of answer he's looking for.

yea anyway kinda bugs me still he thinks i have something to hide, but probably my character gives off this vibe? i dont know

 

[DJ Alejandro]

hey, ive been thinking. maybe there's something to this distant attitude. more like, revealing yourself only to those who are deserving and revealing yourself little by little. totally NOT afc.

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by DJ Alejandro
hey, ive been thinking. maybe there's something to this distant attitude. more like, revealing yourself only to those who are deserving and revealing yourself little by little. totally NOT afc.

i think you just hit the spot, i am somewhat selective with who i talk to and reveal my stuff to (which the advisor also saw through). i either feel that you've earned my trust and in my book your ok, either taht i may want to earn his/her trust so that will also get you in my book.

HE also knows when im thinking of something and when im not...damn sees through me so easily.

he also says im a pretty wise person for my age, but i dunno if that has anything to do with a distant attitude.

 

[2pacalypseNow]

yeah, I've always been more comfortable being quiet/serious. I used to attract girls a lot(even though I looked about average/slightly above). The problem was I was a complete AFC, so I never actually did anything with it.

Now that I've been visiting this site and learning a lot, I'm going to try to improve my natural character. It's true that there's a lot of girls(and some very fine ones) that like people who are serious/quiet/good manners, etc. And it's definitely true that you'll earn more respect being this way, instead of being a loudmouth.

 

[DJ Alejandro]

ive experienced revealing too much to people who aren't really deserving is suicide. some people are bound to use it against you. backstabbers.

 

[Ridingthelightning]

I'm the quiet type, I don't let my emotions pour out. I've got plenty of friends that have lots of friends themselves, girls too, but they haven't had a date in well over a year. They exude an aura of weak and meek and no girls even pay attention to them. They dated in high school but thats only because they were comfortable with the girls they knew.

 

[ScrewIt]

The secret of the strong silent types:

they dont talk that much. which leaves room for mystery and appeal. since they're not loudmouths and their actions arent irrational unlike immature fools....then truth is, you dont really know what they're really capable of. if u tick them offf, they might really just kick your ass.

That's why with these types of guys, you never know what to expect....which possibly equates to being unpredictable??

ive thought about this for awhile, and this is my conclusion as to why the strong silent types are often respected.

i guess the kind of aura i exude is, im highly sociable, have connections, but dont talk to everyone, only specific deserved ones. it depends on your personality and way you dress normally.

you can tell if someone is either anti-social or social (but selective to who they wanna know)

 

[NaturallySelected]

The strong silent type can work

I have been a quiet guy for a long time, but I am slowly getting used to being a bit more open. The interesting thing with being "quiet" is it can work to your advantage. Here's a story:

Early last year I was terribly shy, me and three of my friends met 3 girls for some coffee. I was quiet (and in a poor mood). I made the WORST possible impression a guy can make. I didn't answer their questions properly, I got pissed off with one of them. Basically I screwed up royally. It was not intentional by the way, just a combintaiton of a bad mood and my shy nature.

Anyway, so realising that I had done the WORST I possibly could. I KNEW I couldn't make a worse impression than I did that night. So the following night we go out in an even BIGGER group (about 10 of us). I figured "What the hell, I will go. And I will do whatever the hell I want because I can't do any worse than last night."

Now I am known for a good sense of humour and a sharp wit. Well, I was still pretty quiet that night, but I was a lot more CONFIDENT and ****Y. I would make witty comments about thinkgs that people were saying and I came across a lot more confident even though I didn't say much. When I did say something it would be loud, funny and get everyone laughing. One of the girls said to me "You know what NaturallySelected, when you open your mouth you're DAMN funny." That made me feel a lot better, and I did actually peak the interest of one of the girls there. I have dated three girls since then, all of them associated with the group of girls in my story.

Moral of the story is, you can be quiet but make sure that when you do speak, it is with confidence and humour. Don't speak softly, don't answer questions with just a "Yes" or a "No". When you get perosnal questions, make funny comments without really answering them.