How to be quiet and mysterious at the same time??

[drumr2]

You often see (in movies and such) that the quiet/mysterious types usually peak the interest of the girls. While mysterious always accompanies quiet, quiet does NOT always accompany mysterious. Often times, quiet can denote a shy/boring nature and will KILL any interest in a girl.

I'm asking the experianced DJ's here, if any of you have or use this persona?? What is the difference between the two? How can one be quiet and seem mysterious rather than just shy and boring? You have 2 guys...one is quiet and comes off as shy/boring/passive, etc....and the other seems mysterious and therefore interesting. What is the seperating factor there??


The reason I ask is because I'll be going back to church soon. My motivations are partially spiritual, but also for the fact that some of the better girls will be found there. I will be attending social functions and such, so I will be seeing mostly the same girls over and over again. I will have (as Doc Love calls it) a "captive audience". I have learned from my past that I am generally a very open and talkative kind of person once I get comfortable. The problem with that is I give away too much about myself to the people I hang out with the most. Obviously, this is NOT a way to get chicks to want to date you when you're telling them anything and everything about yourself during social functions. Right? I don't want to do this anymore. I want to go into this with a clean slate....keep my mouth shut....and hopefully play the quiet/mysterious card.

Any advice here (beyond answering the original question) would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Tails]

yes, don't tell a girl your life story. that's for the date. you gotta interest her with little about yourself to GET that date first! be a combo. that's the best. funny, smart, quite (at times), talkative, confident (very important), etc. that is all you need to be. and most importantly, yourself.

 

[drumr2]

Originally posted by Tails
yes, don't tell a girl your life story. that's for the date.

No, that's not for the date either. It's something that should come out over a period of time. A long time, and no girl should EVER know the complete story within a year of being with her. That's privy information...only to be given out to someone who shows (not just asks) an interest in knowing it....and even then, it should be given out conservatively.

 

[squirrels]

Lots of women like the strong silent type.

Let me say that again: lots of women like the STRONG silent type. That means you don't have to say a damned thing, but if you do it in a meek or shy way, it indicates that your silence is due to weakness rather than mystery.

Eye contact, posture, behavior...all these things indicate your strength in a situation. And even if you choose to be quiet, you MUST have social skills...meaning you can (and DO) ask a question, answer a question, and contribute to a conversation where appropriate. And do it with authority.

 

[Beethoven]

I think the difference between the strong silent type (which you're trying to be) and the weak silent type (which you aren't) is captured in two things:

1) WHEN you're silent
2) WHAT you say when you do speak

The strong silent type will not throw himself into a discussion, but will wait until a few other people have offered some weak chit-chat. Then, he cuts in with an insightful or interesting remark, but doesn't blabber away for ages.

The strength that the girls see and like is that the strong silent type clearly COULD say a lot more than he is doing, but is so deep and secure that he doesn't need to 'prove' himself to everyone by saying it.

Merely saying nothing at all for the entire discussion will impress no-one!

-> Beethoven

p.s. One more thing - 'You can say twice as much by using half as many words'.

 

[drumr2]

A guy form another message board I go to just gave some really good advice as well.

He said that when you're in social situations where there are chicks involved, personal-type questions are bound to come up. When the questions start to fly in my direction, in situations where I don't want to divulge perosnal information, just say something witty/silly in a cynical way, and pass the conversation back at the person who asked using a question. He says that the cynical part gives off a "jerk" impression, the humor side acts as a buffer and smoothes out the "jerk" thing to a more positive note, the witty portion gives away the fact that you can think, and passing another question back at the original asker denotes that you are done. All in all, you've dodged a question, entertained the people around you, and the whole time not looking like the shy, reserved type. In the end, you maintain an aura of mystery about you without coming off as a recluse or a weirdo.

He says to practice these sorts of answers to almost every type of question, and memorize them. He didn't give me any examples because he said it's best to come up with my own, so I'm gonna start a list.

You think this will work? It sounds pretty legit to me.

 

[S0LID]

girl says to me in a bar, your quiete,
S0LID: I'm guarding his pool cue
HER: so how much is he paying you to guard it?
S0LID: he gives me sexual favours
HER: fair enough n everyone starts laughing

did I get that right?

 

[undesputable]

you want to keep a straight face, always make them guess what your thinking.... and dont answer her questions, if she asks you "what do you do for a living?" dont answer with "oh i work selling cars blah blah blah." go with a funny answer like "i sell slaves" with a straight face, if she asks you again say some other thing like "im a drug dealer", but dont give her the answer she wants

 

[DJ Alejandro]

every played Final Fantasy 8? look at squall. i think he goes well for the strong, silent, mysterious type.

what im thinking about is how you carry yourself when you dont say something.

like whenever you 'cuddle up to yourself' when sitting down, usually comes off as quiet but when you sit down ['al0ne'] but you sit with great body posture and not smiling TOO much, you come off as strong and silent.

 

[Tails]

Originally posted by DJ Alejandro
every played Final Fantasy 8? look at squall. i think he goes well for the strong, silent, mysterious type.

i own that game and love squall's character. when i was young, i wished that i was like him. but in real life, i think people would tease the hell outta you for being that way. also, his looks helped him alot. if he was not that great looking, i dont think that attitude would of worked so well. i like the way he's strong and silent, mysterious. but it wasn't him. he was this way because of his past. the girl ellone left him when he was younger and he felt alone and betrayed. he didn't want to feel this way ever again so he decided to never open himself to people. i have to say, this sort of attitude attracts girls. because you don't pay attention to them and they want your attention. i was like this at one stage and girls were attracted to me. but it wasn't me. i'm a funny, social, sarcastic bastard kinda guy. and i love it. being quite isn't always good ya know. you can attract girls just being funny and social. probably even more than a strong silent kind.

 

[balla]

squirrel and beethoven got it

I actually pull of the mystery thing quite well. I have had girls straight up say you are so mysterious, girls always end coming up and asking me questions, introducing themselvess...etc

Someone mysterious gets attention w/o even talking. this is why ppl want to know "what/who ...etc". Being mysterious is also being different. Those are the two main elements. Get those down and your set.

Eye contact is huge in being mysterious. Someone who is quiet and avoid eye contact is weak. Someone who doesn't talk that much but isn't afraid to make eye contact, shoot a smile, wink whatver is NOT weak. Posture and overall deamnor are key. Don't look like your scared and want to get the hell out of there.

Also when you talk like beethoven mentioned is key. I am actually a pretty funny guy but its a different funny. I don't get everyones attention and tell a hilarious joke/story that often. I am more of the type that listens in on the convo story and chimes in with a funny one liner. Kinda think Seinfeld. The whole damn show is full of this stuff. They do everyday stuff and throw in lil jokes all over the place. This shows that you are c/f and could dominate this discussion if you wanted to like the chatterbox of your friend(who prob doesn't get the most ass out of your group) but you choose not to.

Also if its a group of guys and girls I usually sit back and keep the GUYS entertained. I'm over with the fellas in our lil social circle and the girls can see me as very enteratining. And all I'm doing is chillen with the fellas. meanwhile the guys are laughing there ass off saying I'm the man or patting me on the back, whatever.

and all I'm usually just making fun of the girls in the very group that is watching. "man look at the ass on that one", "yep thats the ***** of the group I can tell", "and theres the fat one".

Basically I'm not trying hard to impress the girls. They watch me doing my thing and wonder who is that, especailly when we got to talk to the ladies and I am acting indifferent. All the while I am maintining eye contact with all the girls seeing who is checking me out, who might be interested.

Also if they talk to you you have to be able to hold up a interesting convo. Being mysterious just means you don't have to start it or run through 20 questions. it donesn't mean that you don't/won't talk.

Also when I do decide to talk I try to talk about different things. not the usualy fluff. I've traveled a lot so I might use that. I might comment about something strange about the surroundings whatever I just talk about different stuff. hell I even make **** up and they lick it all up.

And also as mentioned before I keep EVERYTHING on a need to know basis. If I don't think you need to know I don't tell you. course I act c/f in going about this but don't be telling all these chicks everything. keep them talking about themselves. if they are interested they WILL ask about YOU and sometimes DEMAND info. This is when you don't tell them, or at least not in a straight forward way. dodge questions, turn it back on them. keep them guessing, if they are into you they will think good things. they will think "who is this guy" "he/you are so mysterious"

 

[Tails]

being quite is boring. i like to be open and talk. but it's about random things you see. it's never about me. so at the same time, i can be social and mysterious. it's a perfect combo. just cause you're social, doesn't mean you can't be mysterious

whenever i talk, it's always a joke. i only need to be mature and serious about something when the time comes. but any other time is joke time for me!

 

[DJ Alejandro]

I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING!!!

Originally posted by balla
squirrel and beethoven got it

I actually pull of the mystery thing quite well. I have had girls straight up say you are so mysterious, girls always end coming up and asking me questions, introducing themselvess...etc

first of all, squall did get rinoa. the first paragraph basically sums up rinoa's response to squall's detached behavior.

hey, guys. a realization here. seifer had the
****y attitude but tho it got rinoa for some time, maybe he lacked the funny part. which is a warning for DSs-to-be for being too ****y and less the funny.

also, squall had this distant behavior which made him a magnet . he basically got everyone's attention. his attitude even made the guys like zell want to become his friend. i guess squall was a bit of an alpha type for me.

 

[Tails]

true. but he never chose to be this way. he got to use to being distant from people, because he didn't want to get hurt. and this does reel in girls. but he is lucky rinoa had high interest, his looks helped too. also because they had to spend time together for a job, she really had no choice but to communicate with him. still, i think being someone like squall is not good. he lacks sense of humor, being funny, being open. all those great things.

i know a guy like him at school, he gets teased everyday. but he isn't good looking. so i think half of the reason squall was attractive was because of his looks. and yes, he was strong and didn't take sh|t from anyone. he showed Rinoa that he didn't NEED her to live. he didn't care what she felt. he ignored her. this was a challenge for rinoa. but in the end. it all changes

this is probably my favorite game, because of the story. i just wanted to see the story between squall and rinoa. it was really interesting. i use to wish i was him, hehe. but that didn't work out, i wasn't being myself you see

important thing is: BE YOURSELF!

 

[DJ Alejandro]

i never implied that we should be like squall. what im trying to say here is we may sometimes have to adopt a more distant attitude as part of our arsenal.

im not saying nor implying that looks didn't help him. he was taking of himself well, you've gotta admit. cool outfit and perfectly independent too. his problem was he was just afraid of getting close to people and getting hurt again.

and besides, we should have his distant attitude in an appropriate degree and not being under the wrong reasons for being so.

 

[DJ Alejandro]

Originally posted by Tails
also because they had to spend time together for a job, she really had no choice but to communicate with him.

but that was in the long run. it wasn't like she was under the obligation yet to talk to him during the party. his aura created a presence [a negative type, u may say]. and it was enough to raise her interest, have her approach him and ask him to dance!

a lotta things lacked in squall but he passes for good observation.

 

[drumr2]

Originally posted by Tails
true. but he never chose to be this way. he got to use to being distant from people, because he didn't want to get hurt. and this does reel in girls.

Well, if tyhis is true then I've got more game than Kobe Bryant!

Although, I've yet to see results of this.

Anywho.....here's a question about a situation that I KNOW will come up very quickly. One of te main functions that these chruch types do is attend dances every Friday night. Well....I HATE dancing.....I HATE dances....you wouldn't catch me dead at a dance or having a good time at one. Although, this is one of the only sure ways you're gauranteed to meet a church girl. Basically because they're not encouraged to go to clubs, bars, etc. (A result of this is the fact that most of these chicks are very hot, but they're also very socially inept.) So are most of the guys, as with being very inexperianced. This is why I know if I play my cards right, I could be THE biggest Mack Daddy DJ in the house....at all times.

OK, anyway.....sooner or later, the question will be presented to me on why I don't go (or am not going) to the weekly dances. How should I respond to this, assuming there are HB's present?

Should I use C&F? Should I pretend to always be too busy? Should I be completely honest about it? Should I be honest, but silly?

 

[Tails]

don't dance if you really don't want to. i don't know about you, but i hate to do things that i don't want to do, just because it means i might meet a girl.

DJ Alejandro,

true. that aura plus his looks attracted her. now that we talk of this, it reminds me of my past.

i wanna share a story...

it may sound silly, but after i played that game, i tried to act like squall. i was going to parties every weekend with my pals. there was lots of girls involved. so hell, i tried it out and i loved it. almost too much it got out of control and i was starting to be a real ass hole to girls.

it really does work too.

for example,

a girl at a party that was outside sitting on a chair talking to my two other pals asked me questions from time to time. i'd answer them straight and then kept my mouth shut. soon she asked me to come sit near her. i said: "no thanks, i'm fine where i am."

i knew she was interested in me. that really attracted her. the attitude i produced. she was always asking about me after that night.

(i think also my looks would of helped alot. not to sound up myself, but i am not ugly at all)

another time was when i was at this other party, i was outside, so were many other people. i was looking at the sky (it was night) and this girl i know grabbed my arm and dragged me to a group of people to get all social. i was getting introduced to many girls.

another time, a girl called me a rude fuk. because she was introducing herself to me and she wanted to shake my hands. i had my hands in my pocket and look at her and said: "whatever."

she walked off and wouldn't shut up about it saying: "yeah, i got a bf anyway."

results? yes, it does attract girls, but if you keep it up, you'll lose her in the end.

that was me just trying to be someone else for a while. i just wanted to see how it was like. what the difference was. although it was kinda fun to see girls get all pissed off over you, it wasn't the real me. i got carried away with this attitude and didn't get out of it for a while actually. a few months maybe. but i did and now i am glad. i am myself.

the kind of character squall is just very interesting and i really like it.

so what i did was, put it all in one. mysterious, quite, social, funny, sarcastic, serious, strong, etc. it's the best combo ever. and it gets you more girls than you could ever imagine. being just one thing will never work in the end.

sorry about that, i just wanted to share that with you all.

 

[S0LID]

Ryan from the OC, questions are answered with a look.

 

[DJ Alejandro]

nice story, tails. reminded me of myself a few years back.

strangely enough, i wanted to be like him for a some time too. maybe his character really is THAT powerful.

i tried this last june [the beginning of classes]. when all the other guys would be talking very loud just to get noticed by the girls, i would always be the one leaning against the wall just nodding and a bit distant.

then times came when we have our class breaks, id go out of the room and lean on the rails outside as if i was thinking of something very deep. straight face and all.

girls would approach me from all over the place! saying, you're so different , what are you thinking about , you're Alejandro, ryt? im blah blah.. .

strangely enough, the 1st girl who showed interest [very much, u may say] didn't happen to like me when time came that i got 'warmed up' and showed the C&F side of me. not that i cared what she thought.

our chemistry just didn't work out. even as friends. up until now, i think she's still a self-centered girl who's as boring as driftwood. its funny how she laughs tho. she opens her mouth as if she was gonna bite into an apple or something and then holds it open as if she had lockjaw or somethinng.