How to be a man with a penis?

[Babnik]

Lets get some things straightened out first.

1. I am in control of my life and I have never sacrificed plans for a girl.
2. I do get rejected a lot...always... and it makes me feel more insecure, but it does not affect things I am dedicated to (college, my 4.0 GPA, body building).
3. I never buy gifts of any kind to girls...
4. I barely spend time on the phone with girls.
5. I personally rejected girls out of my own stupidity (some were real hot...)
6. I get complimented by women and men of almost any ages mostly about my looks. This gives initial attraction and girls do approach me often enough.
7. I don't compliment women and don't listen to their problems.

The problem is that I never get seen as anything more than a friend by girls that I approach myself (I am not sure about girls who selected me because I rejected them).

Even when I get their numbers, and ask them to hang out, they see it as friendly hanging out...

For example:
I get approached by a girl in my class and she asks about the test we're having but its obvious its just a reason to talk. So, I lead the conversation from there to something about fun. This time it was traveling to Ibiza (Party zone).

We talk about drugs, alcohol, clubbing and SEX. She laughs often.
She finds it real cool that I'm foreign and bla bla and then its test time and I say "Well, you sound interested in this stuff, lets continue this conversation sometime." - "Sure" - "Let me have your number, I'll call you when I'm free".

Mind you, my body language was perfect. I didn't even really want her because she wasn't that attractive.

Well, she definately took that as friends only...(after we meet up a week later).

This happens to me all the time.

So, here is the question - how, upon first meeting someone, do you project interest in a sexual way? How did I fail?

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

Did u use kino? Conversing only ,no matter the subject, is a path to the FZ.

 

[Taviii]

Kino?!

 

[everywomanshero]

Talkign about drugs? Raise your standards man! Anytime I was seeing chicks that regularly did or brought up drugs, I banged them a few more times then got out of dodge. These people are not living up to the DJ standards, they are inferior to you. She should be trying to figure out how she's going to win you over (and may very well be).

I think you should try *showing more interest*, not less. The idea that some tiny body language cue is the cause of your delima seems unlikely. The fact that you are holding back tellegraphing insecurity is a much more likely cause, IMHO. Sometimes girls see that as arogant conciously, but it is the telegraphing of insecurity that is the root cause in many cases.


My best guess is that you need to open up more.Watch some comedy, go to open mic nights, do some karaoke, really let loose and try being incredibly open for a while. I bet this will fix your problems inside of 6 months, probably a lot sooner. Talking sex, clubs, interesting topics, your home culture, etc sounds good. From what you're telling me, you've got down 90% of what you need, but you might need to release some tension and a little bit of how closely you monitor yourself. I think you might need more deep rapport. When you really go crazy and get active like this, the women should just turning up kind of like they can even get annoying. You also want to make sure you are doing at least a coupel dozen attempts per week. There is so many duds, you have to go through a lot to find something worth bothering with. Just a hunch.

 

[brenbaus]

ummm.....kino at all?

 

[Babnik]

Did u use kino? Conversing only ,no matter the subject, is a path to the FZ.

I tried...I tried putting my hand behind her back when opening the door for her and she quickly and rejectfully snapped out of it.


To another poster - if you think you are doing everything right and you feel that you are and yet women are not trying to win you over - there is something wrong...

Its just a lot of girls will go out with me, but they won't act interested at all. Its like they are doing it UNwillingly... they'd cross arms and legs when sitting and such... I mean, if she doesn't want me...why give her number, answer my calls, and go out with me whenever I say?


To another poster - couple dozens a week? I am REAL busy with college. I have Friday and Saturday night off. Thats it.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

My feeling tells me you're trying too hard to involve everything you read on these boards,which to concludes to you being tense and uncomfortable when going out with these girls.I get this from you saying "i tried to kino her etc" which is the #1 reason of why it won't work,you should make kino a part of your character not a "weapon" you should use to seduce a woman,they can smell your anxiety from a mile.

 

[Babnik]

My feeling tells me you're trying too hard to involve everything you read on these boards,which to concludes to you being tense and uncomfortable when going out with these girls.I get this from you saying "i tried to kino her etc" which is the #1 reason of why it won't work,you should make kino a part of your character not a "weapon" you should use to seduce a woman,they can smell your anxiety from a mile.

But how do you change or improve yourself with women if you don't THINK about things you learned here? I know they can smell anxiety, but its hard to overcome.

Honestly, the time when I attracted most girls was when I simply was MYSELF because it felt easy and careless. But, DJ says being yourself is bad.

Like, I never had to kino a girl when I was myself? Why? They'd do it themselves! It doesn't feel right for me to do it, but how do you learn? You try and you crash and burn because its not part of you...yet or ever.

 

[Hitman10000]

You have the "Mr. Creepy Guy" flag on you.

 

[Babnik]

You have the "Mr. Creepy Guy" flag on you.

Why is that?

 

[donjuanjovi]

Honestly, the time when I attracted most girls was when I simply was MYSELF because it felt easy and careless. But, DJ says being yourself is bad.

If I said that running around in a mini-skirt with a japanese flag on your head, screaming "I got fvcked in the ass by micheal jackson" would get you girls, would you do it?

All this DJ stuff is here so that you can change yourself for the better. Not so you can memorize it and go pick up teenage girls at the mall.

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

If I said that running around in a mini-skirt with a japanese flag on your head, screaming "I got fvcked in the ass by micheal jackson" would get you girls, would you do it?

^


someone field test that, and tell me how it went :kick:

 

[Babnik]

Yeah, but if you don't see the results then its pointless or maybe it hasn't changed you or maybe you only think it did, but it didn't.

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

you might be too perfect. bodybuilding, great grades, handsome with good confidence and body language?

u might be intimidating the girls.

 

[Migel]

I have a similar problem.
There are two possibilities:
1. You are too perfect and she is insecure. She is afraid of "falling in love" with you.
2. She knows about your insecurities but hangs around with you to impress her friends.

I think no matter what the answer is (you'll never know what is inside her head) act like the problem is number 1. It's a place of confidence and will get you more.

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

Yup, they are strange insecure little people, these women.

wont want u if ur too perfect, or not perfect enough

 

[Babnik]

Yup, they are strange insecure little people, these women.

wont want u if ur too perfect, or not perfect enough

...

 

[Babnik]

So my approaches are fine actually? I don't actually give a hint of "I want to f8ck you" upon first encounter and number getting?

 

[DonJuanForever]

FROM THE RETIRED DESK OF DJF

Hey I seen a buddy on here who needed some advice, and I'm always down for helping a guy with motivation and the ambition to succeed add that little extra "thang" to seal his deals.

No I'm not coming out of retirement, I'm still retired...but to the original poster.

Attraction, Comfort, Horniness.

"Let's Just Be Friends" Is a guy that a chick is very comfortable around, I mean, she can tell you all her problems, she can "take her shoes off," but her pvssy isn't quite wet yet, so ummmm, when you try to do something sexual, her gut tells her, "I don't know if I like him, and I don't want to lose him as a friend so....Can we just be friends?"

Fvcking and the things that come with it are a result of her pvssy getting wet, she naturally does the comfortable and horny part. You EASILY get a chick attracted to you by being in what I called a sexual flow and sexual state. It's a state of mind, where you are basically living in the bedroom, it's hard for me to TEACH THIS, you just have to CATCH AND SEE THIS.

Its a natural thing, you'll know you're in it, because you will naturally be grabbing your dyck, licking your lips, walking slower, speaking in a lower tone, etc.....and this is what drives a chick wild.

I made a post which I believe is still in the Tips Section, its called, "I Have It!" Check that out, after wards, you shouldn't have anymore problems with your pvssy flow.

It's always best to just perfect and be comfortable being in your sexual flow, always be that way around girls. MOST GUYS, always want to MAKE GIRLS COMFORTABLE, that is play all their cards right, show the girl value, give her a good time, etc...all that is fine, but without the sexual flow/vibe, her pvssy can't get wet over you, and if it ain't wet you ain't hittin it yet (Okay, I guess I should be speaking more English)

Alright buddy there you go, you should be all set. Now I must go back into retirement.

-DJF

 

[Babnik]

Thanks! I'll keep practicing and reading.

The final question remains only - when you ask a girl out, how do you make sure its a DATE and not a friends only hanging out? If her mind is SET that we're only friends then she can surely say "Yes, lets go out."

Oh!! EDIT:

I so agree on relaxation part.

How do you make yourself entirely relaxed? I get nervous because I keep like expecting something and its SO difficult to relax yourself no matter what I say to myself. Thats why alcohol helps a lot, but thats not a real solution.

So, how to relax yourself around women? Jokes help a lot (seeing them smile helps), but they don't always laugh if they are not interested...