How to be a good Listener

[CosMoenTropic]

So... when she tells you about how badly something went last week and she clearly does not feel happy about it... I sometimes get uncomfortable because I want to keep everything upbeat. What would be the best in this situation? Just listen and not say anything? In the past I would try to give advice, but usually I realize its best to just be a good listener and show her that you care...

But I still cant help but feel bad for just sitting there and not saying anything .How to show that you care (without needing to offer a surefire solution, which usually there are none) and be a good listener?

 

[WC2]

Are you talking about a girlfriend? OK. I'll take that as a yes.

I'm going to take a lot of flack for this, but I don't really give a sh!t because I've been through enough great and god awful relationships to know what works and what does not.

When your girl is feeling under the weather/not in a good mood, the worst thing you can do is ASK her what is wrong.

Women are not that easy. She's not going to tell you what's wrong right away (unless she really feels like whining).

Even worse, if she does tell you what's wrong, you trying to help her with logic will almost NEVER work.

For instance, your girl had a bad day at school because a teacher went crazy on her. You think by telling her that she needs to switch teachers it would make things all better. NO!

WOMEN DON'T WORK ON LOGIC!
WOMEN WORK ON EMOTIONS!

Next time your woman tells you she's not feeling great, grab her by the hips and bring her to your lips. Tell her she's got nothing to worry about because you love her.

When women come to us with problems, they don't want them to be solved. They just want to be cheered up by our manly positivity. They want us to transfer our optimism to them. They want to feel better emotionally, not logically. They want you to make them laugh and get things off their mind. The last thing she wants is a rehashing of her sh!tty day from her supposedly "sexually enticing" boyfriend. What a buzz kill.

So remember, LISTENING is good. Rehashing and asking about problems is not. Unless a woman is asking for advice, don't make it your priority to give it to her. Unless a woman wants to talk about her problems, don't ask her about them. Show her that you love her, make her laugh, and she will be much happier than any advice could have made her.

 

[tsmith2334]

How to show that you care (without needing to offer a surefire solution, which usually there are none) and be a good listener?

If you want to show someone you're a good listener, do this.

Every now and then, repeat what they say. Don't just give generic, blanket answers.

For example:

"Where would you want to go to dinner? Applebees? Macaroni Grill? Chilis?"

"Applebees sounds good, as does Chilis. Not sure about Macaroni Grill. Let's go to Chilis".

 

[Igetit!]

Are you talking about a girlfriend? OK. I'll take that as a yes.

I'm going to take a lot of flack for this, but I don't really give a sh!t because I've been through enough great and god awful relationships to know what works and what does not.

When your girl is feeling under the weather/not in a good mood, the worst thing you can do is ASK her what is wrong.

Women are not that easy. She's not going to tell you what's wrong right away (unless she really feels like whining).

Even worse, if she does tell you what's wrong, you trying to help her with logic will almost NEVER work.

For instance, your girl had a bad day at school because a teacher went crazy on her. You think by telling her that she needs to switch teachers it would make things all better. NO!

WOMEN DON'T WORK ON LOGIC!
WOMEN WORK ON EMOTIONS!

Next time your woman tells you she's not feeling great, grab her by the hips and bring her to your lips. Tell her she's got nothing to worry about because you love her.

When women come to us with problems, they don't want them to be solved. They just want to be cheered up by our manly positivity. They want us to transfer our optimism to them. They want to feel better emotionally, not logically. They want you to make them laugh and get things off their mind. The last thing she wants is a rehashing of her sh!tty day from her supposedly "sexually enticing" boyfriend. What a buzz kill.

So remember, LISTENING is good. Rehashing and asking about problems is not. Unless a woman is asking for advice, don't make it your priority to give it to her. Unless a woman wants to talk about her problems, don't ask her about them. Show her that you love her, make her laugh, and she will be much happier than any advice could have made her.

Bingo,WC2. My sentiments exactly. You really know your stuff man.
CosMoenTropic,listen to what Wc2 said,man. It's right on the money correct.
When a woman starts talking to you about some problem,she doesn't want you to solve the problem,she just wants you to listen and be with her at that moment. And for pete's sake man,don't try to fix her problems. That's getting dangerously close to what I call the number 2 most worst thing a guy can do with a woman he likes,which is to be her therapist. Don't do man. Even if you have the answers to her problems,and her listening to you would solve them,still don't do it. I've said this before,and now I say it again. A woman would rather be distracted from her problems than to have her problems solved. I know that sounds stupid,but that's how it is.
When she starts telling you about her problems,change the subject.


Talk about something else. Take charge of the conversation and lead her somewhere emotional. If you do this,then being with you will be sort of like a vacation for her. She can hang out and spend time with you,and completely forget about all the problems and negative things in her life.