"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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How to be “normal” in normal groups?

M

Miguel

Don Juan
Joined
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Around Toronto, On. Canada.
Alright, so this by far is the most embarrassing question I can actually think of asking… and also the one I need answered more then ANYTHING to get my game going on the fast track. How do I be ‘normal’ in the average groups of people commonly found on the street/club/or wherever? Now I know this sounds bizarre, but I’ve found that because of the people I priory hung out with (arts/drama/and nerd kids) I’ve developed terrible habits when talking to people who are, well… not nerds.

You see, I got the image down, I got the vocals down, heck I even have the body language pretty good. But when it comes to actually conversation I can never seem to find the sacred common ground with the targets group. Any advice, what should I do to get this sorted out?

(like I said, embarising.)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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R

Rex Man

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Midwest
The trick isn't to be 'normal' but to be palatable to the normal types. If you have an engaging personality, your quirks can really work to your advantage. Believe it.
 
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