"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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How to avoid feelings for FWB?

Dan08

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I've got a FWB currently and we recently spoke about what we were as a relationship dynamic.
Both of us came to the conclusion that we would push for a relationship if timing and situations had been different i.e. She's out of a longterm relationship and off to uni and I'm off on a placement year etc etc

So from the convo we resolved to stay FWB and just enjoy each other's company while we have the time to do so.

I like this girl and what we have, so I want your suggestions and tips to avoid falling for her in the longrun as I'd rather just keep her as a FWB after the convo we had.

I know it can be difficult so I'm asking you guys for advice on keeping this strictly FWB.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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TheException

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
You need to date other women and understand the true nature of women. Women that sleep with many men concurrently like your fwb will do are slvts and not for relationships.
This advice is correct.....the reason is not.

Start dating multiple women and sleeping with them. Its the absolute best way to avoid developing "oneitis" with a chick. Right now your "life goals" should be numero uno and women should be a secondary priority.
 

Turuwal

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Totally agree with the others. You should use PairPlusRoyalFlush's reasoning for now to keep you from falling for one particular woman until you are have seen enough to truly understand the nature of women.
 

Mr Wright

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You've already crossed a line. You can pretend that you dont have feelings for each other when you f*ck but it's too late. Someone is going to get hurt when you leave, you can pretend that you can go back to the start but you can't emotions have been formed and spoken about, it's not "just sex" anymore.
 

Dan08

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Mr Wright said:
You've already crossed a line. You can pretend that you dont have feelings for each other when you f*ck but it's too late. Someone is going to get hurt when you leave, you can pretend that you can go back to the start but you can't emotions have been formed and spoken about, it's not "just sex" anymore.
Fair enough mate, I'm new to the whole scenario so I'm going to learn from it either way.

I find if I treat the sex as an ego boost and nothing more it makes things alot easier in the immediate aftermath. It's a lift for the confidence which is all I need it for.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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GADavid

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Dan08 said:
Fair enough mate, I'm new to the whole scenario so I'm going to learn from it either way.

I find if I treat the sex as an ego boost and nothing more it makes things alot easier in the immediate aftermath. It's a lift for the confidence which is all I need it for.
That confidence boost is addictive. You better date other women. Don't hide it from her and keep her at a distance. She is secondary to any other relationship which you need to keep actively pursuing.
 

Dan08

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GADavid said:
That confidence boost is addictive. You better date other women. Don't hide it from her and keep her at a distance. She is secondary to any other relationship which you need to keep actively pursuing.
I'm confident within myself already, it's merely a top up :)
Aye, believe me when given the opportunities I take them.
 

VladPatton

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You can't do the most intimate thing between 2 people and not catch feelings. This FWB concept is nothing but trouble (as you have found out).
 

Dan08

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VladPatton said:
You can't do the most intimate thing between 2 people and not catch feelings. This FWB concept is nothing but trouble (as you have found out).
I've caught those feelings. I'm shutting them down, I don't initiate, I don't text her, I don't see what her life is when I'm not in it. Tell me if I'm doing that wrong fella but by all accounts that's the way to go about it.
 

apprenticedj

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Danny boy I don't know if you can ever stop yourself from developing feelings, that's a subconscious thing. You can only control how you will ACT on them. The inside of your mind might be all puppy dogs and rainbows, every time you see her she's surrounded by angelic white light, those feelings are normal especially if she's also cool outside of the bedroom. But you can never let those feelings show, EVER. You must remain stoic and mysterious because that's where the attraction lies, once she thinks she has you bested she will move onto more challenging territory.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Dan08

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apprenticedj said:
Danny boy I don't know if you can ever stop yourself from developing feelings, that's a subconscious thing. You can only control how you will ACT on them. The inside of your mind might be all puppy dogs and rainbows, every time you see her she's surrounded by angelic white light, those feelings are normal especially if she's also cool outside of the bedroom. But you can never let those feelings show, EVER. You must remain stoic and mysterious because that's where the attraction lies, once she thinks she has you bested she will move onto more challenging territory.
That's a fair point, I also do not know if I can stop the feelings. I can merely try to do so and acknowledge them and like you say decide whether to act or to not act upon them. I whole-heartedly agree that in remaining stoic I can only benefit myself.
 
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