How To Avoid Becoming The Nice Guy!

[soulforge]

Do you guys ever catch yourself in a moment with a girl & realise.. hmm that thing I just did was a little too nice.

I'm in my mid 40's and something I have learned or realised over the years is, that your either naturally a bad boy or you are naturally a nice guy.

Then it depends on what type of chick you are dealing with too.. With an average girl, I tend to be a little more careless and from time to time let her down, by canceling a date or naturally saying something a little arrogant to her.

When it's a hot chick, I have realised that I tend to be a little nicer as my interest level is higher.

Occasionally it dawn's on me, that I might be a little too nice and need to reel that chit in.

Do you guys have any active steps, measures a man can take to avoid falling into the nice guys trap??

I want to see maybe a list of things to avoid saying or doing around a chick.

Also maybe some ideas on how a bad would operate.

 

[RangerMIke]

Nothing wrong with being 'nice', just don't be a pushover.

(1) Be selfish.
(2) Always ask "Why am I doing this?"
(3) Ask "What am I getting in return?"
(4) If there isn't some level of reciprocity then don't do it.

Always remember time = currency, and no amount of money ever bought a second of time.

 

[soulforge]

As a recovering "Nice Guy, I can tell you being a "nice guys" is not what you think it is. I had all these traits when I was a nice guy.

This a list of my former traits as I remember them:

1. Texting all the time
2. Calling all the time
3. Giving gifts, investing too much early on
4. Never saying anything that bothered me
5. Always being supportive when my support wasn't being asked
6. Always trying to solve her problems
7. Giving her money
8. Never putting her in her place
9. Always afraid to walk away for fear of losing her
10. Over complimenting her all the fvcking time
11. Always saying I love you first and a lot of cursi $hit from movies
12. Never taking charge on dates
13. Being boring
14. Having no aspiration to be better
15. Not being in the gym to improve my physique
16. Not trying to be better financially
17. Always putting her needs first
18. Always begging for sex
19. Always being scared of other girls hitting on me in front of my girl
20. Scared of confrontation with my girl or with other guys even in front of her
21. Not being a leader, if she told me to jump I'd ask how high
22. Always being too available
23. Being super clingy when I was with her, always trying to kiss her, trying to hold her hand even if she didn't want
24. Afraid of doing things different in the bedroom, like slapping her, calling her names, putting my fingers where they didn't belong
25. Always asking her for advice in how to dress when we were going out
26. Being a pushover
27. Allowing disrespect from her
28. Always paying for dinner
29. Spending every dime I had on her
30. Always saying "good morning and good night" all the fvcking time
31. Always walking on eggshells in order to not upset her highness
32. Always checking her phone
33. Always asking who's that guy that's texting you at 2am (the writtings were on the wall)
34. If she asked me to spend time with her, I would reschedule my things
35. Always complanining to her about some things didn't go my way
36. Giving her attention when I wasn't getting anything in return
37. Being her therapist and emotional tampon
38. Asking for forgiveness when she was mad at me
39. Telling her that I couldn't live without her
40. Fvcing crying in front of her like a fvcking little b!tch I was, when she left me

I had the worst case of nice guy behavior, super cringe I know, but in hindsight I'm glad of the things that happened, knowing is half the battle.

WOW that is nice guy Nuclear Meltdown... Hope you're a changed man now.. I can't say I'm a pushover, because I'm not. However I do have a few of the traits in your list.

One is being the one who arranges most of the dates. Seems to be two schools of thought on this... The man should take the lead & arrange the dates. Or it should be equal effort.

 

[The Duke]

I've always been called a dihk. Its somewhere between a nice guy and a bad boy. I take it as a compliment. Never had a woman leave me because I'm such a dihk. All it means is I call them out, don't let them take advantage of me, and keep things fair.

Always remember the one who cares the least wins. All the stuff you learned on tv and what other women told you is mostly lies.