"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How to ask wisley what girl loves ?

zorg198

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Hello,

I want to know how to ask a girl , what are your hobbies? what you like to do after work? what excite you? in a way she will respond to my question.

I mean coming to a girl and ask her directly what you love its stupid, so how i do it?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Iceberg

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zorg198 said:
Hello,

I want to know how to ask a girl , what are your hobbies? what you like to do after work? what excite you? in a way she will respond to my question.

I mean coming to a girl and ask her directly what you love its stupid, so how i do it?
It comes through the course of normal conversation.

If you were talking about a thunderstorm outside, you'd say, "Looks like I can't go biking tonight. Blah blah blah. Do you bike at all?"

She'll say "No. But I might skip a yoga class."

Next thing you know, you're talking about hobbies and interest.

Like you said, you don't want to walk up to someone and directly ask them what their passions are. Because it sounds corny and fake. It's not how people talk to each other. So you get to topics like that gradually through conversation.
 

cuffs.allister

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You ask it just like that. Or you can guess, example: "You look like someone who loves to read romantic novels" and if she agrees, ask her what was the latest book she read and what was it about. I prefer to just ask it like I first suggested not try to guess.

By the way, what I suggested isn't an opener. You do that if you feel the conversation is dying.
 

zorg198

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That's the issue , i am not quite getting her well ... how i crack her open? i mean when a girl talks about her family and how she's helping her mother prepare meals for the holiday is good ? WTF?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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zorg198

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i did , also asked her the second time we saw each other when the holiday was over , i asked her? well , did your mother gave you to do more than slicing veggies? she said ,yeah! she let me cook cakes and so like i care.. but i want to go deeper but in the same time not stress it and go too fast.
 

zorg198

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i want to ask her what she's like doing but should i ask it like it is or i should pronounce it in a way it will sound different ...
 

slitherjef

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Are you waiting for the right time to ask her a specific question?

Next time you are in talking distance with her and its quiet.... just ask her. Strait out. :eek:

She standing next to you and not saying anything? "So... got any hobbies?" Simple. Now if she is like talking about horses or something, ask her something about that, don't say something like, "do you like jelly?" while she is taking about horses, however because that will tell her you are not listening.
 

zorg198

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slitherjef said:
Are you waiting for the right time to ask her a specific question?

Next time you are in talking distance with her and its quiet.... just ask her. Strait out. :eek:

She standing next to you and not saying anything? "So... got any hobbies?" Simple. Now if she is like talking about horses or something, ask her something about that, don't say something like, "do you like jelly?" while she is taking about horses, however because that will tell her you are not listening.

just like that , got any hobbies?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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