how to ask for a date

[rose123]

hey,
i wanna go out with a hot girl at school. i talked to her on msn messenger and she told me "why dont you go talk to me?" but i see her rarely like once a week and she always is with her friends. I don't know what to say when i go talk to her when she is with all her friends... like " hey can i talk to you for a
second?", but it sounds kinda dorky...
i actually talked to her today very fast like for 1min. i saw her walking by right in front of me so i didnt have time to think and i just went to talk to her.
i want to talk to her more... how should i ask her for a date? ill ask her on msn or something.. i asked her once but she said she is too busy. she is very shy thats a problem too

( i have her phone number, but she doesnt want to talk with me over the phone and i dont like that eather. once i was talking to her a bit on msn messenger, and i asked her if i could call her to see if the number works and she didnt answer so i called her and she didnt answer the phone and then she wrote to me on the chat "was it you who called?". so i asked her why she wouldnt talk to me over the phone and she said "we can talk here".)

 

[theobserver]

hey,
i wanna go out with a hot girl at school. i talked to her on msn messenger and she told me "why dont you go talk to me?" but i see her rarely like once a week and she always is with her friends. I don't know what to say when i go talk to her when she is with all her friends... like " hey can i talk to you for a
second?", but it sounds kinda dorky...
i actually talked to her today very fast like for 1min. i saw her walking by right in front of me so i didnt have time to think and i just went to talk to her.
i want to talk to her more... how should i ask her for a date? ill ask her on msn or something.. i asked her once but she said she is too busy. she is very shy thats a problem too

( i have her phone number, but she doesnt want to talk with me over the phone and i dont like that eather. once i was talking to her a bit on msn messenger, and i asked her if i could call her to see if the number works and she didnt answer so i called her and she didnt answer the phone and then she wrote to me on the chat "was it you who called?". so i asked her why she wouldnt talk to me over the phone and she said "we can talk here".)

really, just go talk to her, learn to be a good conversationlist, funny, confident, mess with her, and don't care about the outcome. how you say anything is more important than what you say. also remember to have fun and enjoy yourself. all that stuff that they say on this forum. you came off a bit needy when you asked her if you could call her, just call her. if you want something, go for it, but you've been way too hesitant in even going up and talking to her at school. you've given her all your power, and she knows that she has it. you need to always dictate the pace and be in command of the conversation.

you're so worried about asking a date, yet you failed to spark her interest, but it's all part of the learning process. in your situation, you're already marked in the friend zone, and this girl can and probably will take advantage of you. which is why first impressions are so important, if you come off as hesitant and needy in the beginning, even when you know you aren't, she can see that you're very likely to submit, and therefore she will always see you as hesitant and needy and a pushover, see where i'm getting? this has happened to me before, and it totally sucks, luckily the girl i was with was nice enough not to take advantage of me.

this is all just concluded from my experience, but it's best if you stop talking to her for a long time, and when she asks why you don't talk to her anymore, stand up for yourself and say something ****y and funny like "well i've been busy jeez sorry i can't cater to your every whim" i'd personally say somethign along the lines of that, just cuz i don't like to take **** from girls. but just stand up for yourself and demand respect. i remember in one of the threads on # closing, you should always switch "can i.." with a "let me.." good stuff. good luck man, hope i've helped.

 

[rose123]

thanks man, should i rather call her or send text messages? rather short or long text messages? what do i do if she doesnt reply to my text message.
what if i send a message that goes like this " hey im going out to the city tomorrow to see a friend and there are such nice coffees there, wanna take a cup of coffee with me before i meet him?" (the city=paris, cause i live a bit outside and she does too) She may not answer because she is too shy to do that like i know her...
if i dont talk to her for a long time, im not sure if she will care because we havent really talked and she doesnt know me. i dont want her to forget about me!

edited 4hours later:
ok i sent her the message but she didnt reply -.- why?? what should i do now? not talk to her until i see her at school? when i talk to her at school, how should i end the conversation to make her agree to meet me out of school?

 

[theobserver]

thanks man, should i rather call her or send text messages? rather short or long text messages? what do i do if she doesnt reply to my text message.

you should call her. but seeing that she won't answer your call it shows that she's not interested. if she isn't interested, you won't be able to take her out. even if she does agree, you probably won't have a great time with her anyway.

what if i send a message that goes like this " hey im going out to the city tomorrow to see a friend and there are such nice coffees there, wanna take a cup of coffee with me before i meet him?" (the city=paris, cause i live a bit outside and she does too) She may not answer because she is too shy to do that like i know her...

well she's either too shy, or not interested. like i said answering your last question. if she isn't interested and she knows you are, she'll either use that to her advantage, or completely blow you off.

if i dont talk to her for a long time, im not sure if she will care because we havent really talked and she doesnt know me. i dont want her to forget about me!

you're acting like she's the only girl out there, there are a million more girls who would love to find out how great of a guy you are. don't get oneitis with this girl especially since she's not interested. i hate to break to you man but you gotta move on, cuz you're already in the friendship zone with this girl.ask yourself if it's worth all the trouble just to even stay in contact with her.

edited 4hours later:
ok i sent her the message but she didnt reply -.- why?? what should i do now? not talk to her until i see her at school? when i talk to her at school, how should i end the conversation to make her agree to meet me out of school?[/QUOTE]
oh whoa i didn't see this, but i answered your question already, but let me reiterate just to get it in your head. SHE'S NOT INTERESTED. cut off all contact with her, don't even talk to her at school. i know it sounds extreme, but she's not worth all this trouble.

 

[rose123]

thanks. alright then... but i wont be negative, cause i know she is very shy so ill just go talk to her.