How to approach this girl

[Mex]

Hey all,

I am in grad school, and I want some tips on how to approach this other grad student. We have exchanges smiles a few times, but I have not had the opportunity to talk with her, since the only time I see her is when she finishes teaching a class (I think she teaches German), and her male students always stay late and walk out with her (because she is so hot). Maybe that is a lame excuse, but it is moot now since the class I was teaching when I saw her got relocated to a different room so I dont walk past her anymore. Is there anyway I can still find an opportunity to approach her now without being creepy? I can't imagine anyway to talk to her now without seeming like a creep. I guess I could stop by her office, but she probably shares an office with other people which would make it even more awkward. Email might be an option, but that might be too passive.

Any tips are appreciated,

 

[Sinistar]

....but it is moot now since the class I was teaching when I saw her got relocated to a different room so I dont walk past her anymore. Is there anyway I can still find an opportunity to approach her now without being creepy? I can't imagine anyway to talk to her now without seeming like a creep

Okay, you're locking onto the "creepy" vibe and you're the guy! FYI women are way more perceptive than men when it comes to these subtle clues of attraction and desire. So yes, it is possible that any more contact (which seems to be trying to hard to be random) will set off her creepo meter.

I don't think the question is how to approach but rather should you approach. Now let's try the other side. Many a guy (via self talk, buddies, coworkers, family, etc) have been talked us out of an approach because of the "creepy" label. But in a way, isn't a convenient tool in avoiding rejection!

The funny thing about attraction is timing. You could have the perfect lines, perfect look and on the day when the opportunity first presents itself any host of things could trip you up. After that, if she's seen you and picked up on your desire and you didn't follow with an approach she'll always remember you didn't man up after that overly long stare or second look or quick scan down her body and back to her eyes, etc.

Meanwhile, the first guy to come long on a day she's feeling good and open to approaches already has an advantage over you. And if he's the guy with nothing to lose, quick on his feet and confident she'll bite.

I think you can pull this off, but your best bet is probably to entirely forget about her first. Creepo's can't do this. Start seeing other women which builds or retains confidence. She'll seem way less important. Then if you bump into her again (which will be totally random) she won't detect the vibe of the AFC who's been mentally obsessing over her. You'll have a second "creepo - free" chance since you haven't already blown it.

I do have a couple of questions too. Are you afraid of this woman? She has all kinds of guys following her around. From your described POV, her frame is very strong. Can you be the guy who could give a rip less if she's dating you (and other guys) while more AFC's follow her like puppies. Are you really ready if she says yes?

When I was younger, I am sure I would have missed my first opportunity and analyzed and analyzed until it seemed stupid.

Now (being wiser) in the situation you've given I probably would have given her a solid smile and eye contact and then teased her pretty good (C&F) about the "puppies" following her around. Better yet, do it while a few of the puppies are within earshot which CB's them and elevates you to AMOG. Then if she sort of takes your side, kids about it, etc follow it up with c0cky "...well the alpha is going to have a beer, care to join along..." - you'd have your answer in like 3 minutes.

 

[hover411]

i was in a similar situation in which i got subtle hints of interest, but did not have a consistent meeting place to strike up a conversation....

i basically just had fun with it, and pulled some spytech/borderline creepy maneuvers, to time it just right in passing to have a brief conversation with the girl. it worked, mainly because i was smiling, giving good vibes and nonchalantly ACTING like it was a coincidence that we happened to pass each other. i basically treated it as a little game.

after the good initial exchange, i was laughing my ass off at how i pulled it off, as ultimately i was just having fun with it because i really had nothing to lose.

we ended up having several conversations, having drinks at the bar, etc...

if i would have had any nervousness in my demeanor at all, it would have been really creepy, but you can honestly set a good vibe with the right frame of mind.

just have fun with it and try to set yourself up in a situation where you can have a brief conversation and establish some good vibes. don't really have a goal of getting a number or email, but just being friendly and sparking some conversation. if she has any interest in you she will let you know. if you can build enough rapport/ interest, then say you gotta run but would like to continue the conversation another time, then get her number.

the direct approach is an alternative, but usually the hotties just put up their defenses UNLESS they are extremely attracted to you from the get-go. its also really hard to develop any kind of rapport when you "cut to the chase" so to speak.

good luck,

keep us posted.