"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

How to Approach a group of girls?

Nino-Tk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2009
Messages
628
Reaction score
6
Age
33
Location
South Africa, Johannesburg
Hello amigos I'll get straight to the point...Back in the my AFC days I would never even try approaching a girl...then i found this site,and since then my life has turned around...the key word being LIFE,not just girls...I mean i just passed and i'm goin to grade 11..everything is good thanks to this site,and I'm just 16..so my question to my fellow older Don Juans is " I never hesitate to approach a girl that I like,but now its the holidays and I'm visiting my cousin...the girls here are so different from the ones in my hood...they literally chill together as a GANG...and i dont know why,but i feel so immobolized..anyone got advice for a young DJ on what to do?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Lexington

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 23, 2008
Messages
1,244
Reaction score
71
Groups can present a challenge if there's one girl in particular that you're after. It's tough to get something going with a girl in a group setting. You have to first open the entire group and be friendly with everyone. Make sure you've taken the time to interact with everyone. Then you can eventually start to focus more attention on the girl you're after. Finally, you should try and isolate her. If you have been nice to everyone in the group, the other group members won't have an issue with you taking her away.
 

Nino-Tk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2009
Messages
628
Reaction score
6
Age
33
Location
South Africa, Johannesburg
Yo guys thanks for advice...It really worked well,anyway this is what went down

So I'm bored and I decide to go see a friend,on the way there this GIRLY I want is finally alone
ME:HI can I ask you Something
GIRLYL:hi Oh and you can ask me later
ME:eek:h you i guess you need to take bath now
GIRLY:*Smile* *NOD*
As you can see nothing special happened here

So now I'm back from my friends house,I'm tired so I decide to chill outside the house...and something weird be happenin GIRLY's
friends keep on passing by my house,but I couldn't be bothered,until such a time the chill right across me on the pavement
so I,In a slow,relaxed tone TELL them I'm coming to chill with 'em Because they seem bored and it's obvious they want a piece of me,
agreed.But GIRLY practically ran away when she heard I'm coming over,Strange I know.
Lets just say my ****Y-FUNNY-CONFIDENT-HAPPY attitude makes em warm to me so much that they told me that GIRLY likes me...Can
you Believe it...I guess thats why she acting like this...
anyway tomorrow Ima speak with her and see if she'll IMPRESS me
Thanks DON JUANS
LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

nyc123

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 13, 2006
Messages
74
Reaction score
6
Location
queens ny
I'm bringing back this thread because I was having trouble with this recently but I don't think I've found the answer.
Two stories- I saw 6 Asian girls sitting at some couches at a lounge/bar. I felt the urge to approach. I opened directly with something like "hey excuse me, I know this is really random but I saw you girls just now and thought you were really cute and I wanted to come meet you"
They looked at each other and about 4 seconds later one of them tells me that they're leaving soon. I exit the set.

Story 2- I'm at Central Park and I see 4 Korean girls hanging out on the lawn. I wanted to approach but I didn't know how. I didn't want to go hard direct like I did in the first story. I thought I could try something indirect like try to ask them about some Korean language matters. They left before I approached. Too unsure and too much approach anxiety.

Speaking to some of my Korean friends who know Korean girls well, they said that this approach idea would be too unnatural. And I would probably come off as creepy. They suggested that I go even more indirect, something like trying to sit kind of close to them, try to get some eye contact and get a conversation going that way.

Any thoughts?
 

MrWood

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 15, 2016
Messages
1,743
Reaction score
1,178
Age
60
Location
Scandinavia
never ever ever open with:
"you (girls) are really cute/beautiful"
every guy does this
"can you help me with some random lame Korean comment?"
every guy does this

stroll by, if they see you or one catches your eye... say "Hey girls" with a smile that says "I caught you lookin" as you keep strolling by
go to the bar, buy yourself a beer.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,762
Reaction score
7,975
Location
USA, Louisiana
Talk to all of them, do not focus on any one particular girl. The key is DON"T ASK FOR PERMISSION TO ENTER THE GROUP.... just go in. The best way in my opinion is to just walk up and say "You look like a fun group... how did you get here?" How they respond will tell you all you need to know to get a conversation started. Did they come together... did they meet there.... who came with BFs... bottom line you are trying to build rapport, the only thing that you know at that moment is that you all had to get to that location somehow.... then build on that.

The one that wants you the most will make an effort to keep the conversation going... then focus on the one or ones that are showing interest.
 

fastlife

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 3, 2015
Messages
1,115
Reaction score
2,139
My default if I can't think of anything is, "Oh, so you guys are over here talking sh1t about everybody. So stuck up." Most girls will invest in not seeming like the group of stuck up girls talking sh1t about everyone--they're put in a position where they either have to bring me into the group or seem like the total b1tches that all of the sudden they're worried is the vibe they're giving up. Then I just introduce myself to the one I like and tell her to introduce me to her friends and go from there.

But it doesn't really matter what you say. The key is to shift your mindset from a place of Please accept meeee. Let meeee be apart of your group to Let me see what you're about and I'll decide if this group is cool and I want them to be a part of my night. Open your eyes. Have you ever seen a group of girls that looked liked they were having fun? You know what I see--and I'm out a lot? Girls on their phones, not even talking to each other. Girls in bachelorette parties where the bride is drunk and her friends are tired and bored and want to go home but have to babysit their friend. Girls gossiping about the environment without ever engaging it. Girls trying to take the perfect selfie, and one of them always vetoing it. Even in mixed groups, the girls look bored as sh1t.

You're literally doing them the biggest favor by opening them and giving their night purpose.
 

nyc123

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 13, 2006
Messages
74
Reaction score
6
Location
queens ny
never ever ever open with:
"you (girls) are really cute/beautiful"
every guy does this
"can you help me with some random lame Korean comment?"
every guy does this

stroll by, if they see you or one catches your eye... say "Hey girls" with a smile that says "I caught you lookin" as you keep strolling by
go to the bar, buy yourself a beer.
I think that very few guys would be bold enough to approach a group of girls at the park. If I approach at all, I think I'm already not like every other guy. But I could see myself being like every other guy that does approach.
I also think that your suggestion about what to do in the bar makes sense. I think I'd be willing to try that/experiment at a bar. Don't think it would work at a big park though. haha. it also depends on if they see me or not when I walk by.

Talk to all of them, do not focus on any one particular girl. The key is DON"T ASK FOR PERMISSION TO ENTER THE GROUP.... just go in. The best way in my opinion is to just walk up and say "You look like a fun group... how did you get here?" How they respond will tell you all you need to know to get a conversation started. Did they come together... did they meet there.... who came with BFs... bottom line you are trying to build rapport, the only thing that you know at that moment is that you all had to get to that location somehow.... then build on that.

The one that wants you the most will make an effort to keep the conversation going... then focus on the one or ones that are showing interest.
I like your suggestion. I've actually tried something like this a couple of times in the past in bars (only 2-sets though). I don't know why this didn't occur to me while I was at the park. I'll try this one for next time.

My default if I can't think of anything is, "Oh, so you guys are over here talking sh1t about everybody. So stuck up." Most girls will invest in not seeming like the group of stuck up girls talking sh1t about everyone--they're put in a position where they either have to bring me into the group or seem like the total b1tches that all of the sudden they're worried is the vibe they're giving up. Then I just introduce myself to the one I like and tell her to introduce me to her friends and go from there.

But it doesn't really matter what you say. The key is to shift your mindset from a place of Please accept meeee. Let meeee be apart of your group to Let me see what you're about and I'll decide if this group is cool and I want them to be a part of my night. Open your eyes. Have you ever seen a group of girls that looked liked they were having fun? You know what I see--and I'm out a lot? Girls on their phones, not even talking to each other. Girls in bachelorette parties where the bride is drunk and her friends are tired and bored and want to go home but have to babysit their friend. Girls gossiping about the environment without ever engaging it. Girls trying to take the perfect selfie, and one of them always vetoing it. Even in mixed groups, the girls look bored as sh1t.

You're literally doing them the biggest favor by opening them and giving their night purpose.
Sometimes I see groups of girls that are pretty involved in their own conversations. These groups I'm much more hesitant to approach. But you're right about a lot of times they're on their phones and not that actively talking to each other. Whenever I see this, I see it as a green light of sorts. I feel a lot more confident about this scenario.

Thanks everyone for the help!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Yewki

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2013
Messages
1,504
Reaction score
589
ME:HI can I ask you Something
GIRLYL:hi Oh and you can ask me later
ME:eek:h you i guess you need to take bath now
GIRLY:*Smile* *NOD*
As you can see nothing special happened here
Was this translated from a different language? I don't even...
 
Top