"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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How to apply silence and distance in a relationship

jnMissouri

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Especially temporarily long distance. Our first 3.5 months was local, now she is out of state on and off for 3 months for work. We have a plan to see each other regularly. We were seeing each other once a week up until month 2, at which point it creeped up to 3-4 days a week around each holiday, but usually 3 days a week in general including Friday through Sunday every week.

I used to not text or call for a couple days at a time, and she would initiate. Last couple of months that creeped up, we skipped talking a day here or there but she wanted to talk more often, she even told me at minimum every 48 hours.

Now we talk every day, with her initiating 80-90% of the time, and almost always being the one to call me to talk for a few hours. I've started calling her more largely because sometimes she get's on my nerves with things she does and I don't know if she does stuff intentionally to get me to call her or what.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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ubercat

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Get busy with work and projects. A female should not be taking up too much of your headspace.
 

jnMissouri

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Get busy with work and projects. A female should not be taking up too much of your headspace.

That I already have but I'm talking about how much silence to apply, not respond or answer calls for a day? Two days? Until end of day? Four hours?
 

ubercat

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There are no rules if you are busy you answer when you have time for it. Stop being sucked into her frame it's your world she comes along for the ride if she wants. You might be suffering from scarcity mindset yes a nice little rice pie is great I took one home myself but there are no shortage of them in the world mate.
 

jimwho

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Talking for two hours a day is a guaranteed relationship death sentence. I might suggest during all that chatter to her that you man up and tell her it's exhausting. I fell asleep on Cindy once, she was ragging about that also. Handle it!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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