"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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How to Answer Tricky Questions

Mercenary

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We know that on dates the focal point of the conversation should be the woman and not yourself. Nevertheless, there comes a point where you have to divulge a bit of specific, personal information about yourself (i.e. what you do for a living, education level, your plans for the future). But sometimes the answers to such questions are going to be dealbreakers or just subconscious turn-offs for her (you work at WacArnolds, or you drive a chevy nova).

Obviously, the easiest way to deal with this is to have your **** together ("the relationship starts b4 you meet her" type deal) But most people, especially young guys, will admit they are a work in progress. So when these issues come up, should you just be as generic and elusive with your responses as possible... or should you employ a different strategy? I thought about just being confident and honest like you don't give a fvck, but this isn't going to always trump the fact that you make less than her.

discuss...
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Tell the truth!! Your goal as a man is to question whether you want to be with her. If you don't comply with her standards then so be it...continue to be the strong confident man that you are and brush it off as a incompatibility issue!
 

khanboy

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The only reason you view the questions as tricky, or wish to avoid revealing information about yourself is because you are concerned about how you will come to be perceived in her eyes.

This is, or will be, your downfall,
khanboy

P.S. Try something along the lines of "This is me, take it or leave it. Now, are you what I'm looking for?"
 

HuuBinh

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despite what others said about being yourself, there's a technique that i often use to divert these kinds of questions, your not lying, but your using it to divert the convo. away from yourself. like,

her: so, what do u do for a living?
you: im an underwear model for Calvin Klein, so what about you?

her: are you in school?
you: well, i have about 4 phds, what's your major?

her: what r your future plans?
you: well, i'd like to b/come a porn star..., what would u like to be?

say all these things in a playful manner, and then direct the convo. somewhere else, your not lying, but at the same your not telling her what she wants to hear.
 

squirrels

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Answer them with pride. Or if it's none of her business, tell her so.

Of course, if YOU feel ashamed of yourself because you have a dead-end job and no ambition, it's hard to answer ANYTHING with pride.

Which raises the question, "How do YOU feel about your answers to these questions?"

And what are you going to DO about it? ;)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Mercenary

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Originally posted by khanboy
The only reason you view the questions as tricky, or wish to avoid revealing information about yourself is because you are concerned about how you will come to be perceived in her eyes.
Exactly... shame on me

In most cases I wouldn't care as much, but right now i'm seeing a woman who is significantly older than I am (higher 20's).
I know I'm gold, but as an older woman her level of scrutiny is a bit higher, and I'm already having to fight the whole "younger guy" syndrome at least on the subconscious level.

But all this advice is putting things in perspective for me a bit. You are your toughest critic, as you've known yourself your entire life. A lot of times you can take your postive traits and skills for granted.
 
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