Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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How to Answer Tricky Questions

Mercenary

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We know that on dates the focal point of the conversation should be the woman and not yourself. Nevertheless, there comes a point where you have to divulge a bit of specific, personal information about yourself (i.e. what you do for a living, education level, your plans for the future). But sometimes the answers to such questions are going to be dealbreakers or just subconscious turn-offs for her (you work at WacArnolds, or you drive a chevy nova).

Obviously, the easiest way to deal with this is to have your **** together ("the relationship starts b4 you meet her" type deal) But most people, especially young guys, will admit they are a work in progress. So when these issues come up, should you just be as generic and elusive with your responses as possible... or should you employ a different strategy? I thought about just being confident and honest like you don't give a fvck, but this isn't going to always trump the fact that you make less than her.

discuss...
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Tell the truth!! Your goal as a man is to question whether you want to be with her. If you don't comply with her standards then so be it...continue to be the strong confident man that you are and brush it off as a incompatibility issue!
 

khanboy

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The only reason you view the questions as tricky, or wish to avoid revealing information about yourself is because you are concerned about how you will come to be perceived in her eyes.

This is, or will be, your downfall,
khanboy

P.S. Try something along the lines of "This is me, take it or leave it. Now, are you what I'm looking for?"
 

HuuBinh

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despite what others said about being yourself, there's a technique that i often use to divert these kinds of questions, your not lying, but your using it to divert the convo. away from yourself. like,

her: so, what do u do for a living?
you: im an underwear model for Calvin Klein, so what about you?

her: are you in school?
you: well, i have about 4 phds, what's your major?

her: what r your future plans?
you: well, i'd like to b/come a porn star..., what would u like to be?

say all these things in a playful manner, and then direct the convo. somewhere else, your not lying, but at the same your not telling her what she wants to hear.
 

squirrels

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Answer them with pride. Or if it's none of her business, tell her so.

Of course, if YOU feel ashamed of yourself because you have a dead-end job and no ambition, it's hard to answer ANYTHING with pride.

Which raises the question, "How do YOU feel about your answers to these questions?"

And what are you going to DO about it? ;)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Mercenary

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Originally posted by khanboy
The only reason you view the questions as tricky, or wish to avoid revealing information about yourself is because you are concerned about how you will come to be perceived in her eyes.
Exactly... shame on me

In most cases I wouldn't care as much, but right now i'm seeing a woman who is significantly older than I am (higher 20's).
I know I'm gold, but as an older woman her level of scrutiny is a bit higher, and I'm already having to fight the whole "younger guy" syndrome at least on the subconscious level.

But all this advice is putting things in perspective for me a bit. You are your toughest critic, as you've known yourself your entire life. A lot of times you can take your postive traits and skills for granted.
 
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