How to act on Rollo Tomassi's material

[popsickle]

I love the Rational Male. I've subscribed to the email news and always enjoy reading new articles. I find it incredible how much it makes sense and how easy it is to relate to. I started reading a couple of years ago and like to think I've internalized at least the basic concepts about hypergamy, relational equity and why it doesn't matter, etc. I am at peace with those facts.
What I often have trouble with after reading an article is understanding how I'm supposed to act on it. To me it all just sounds like no woman is every worth being with. The posts often highlight a fact ("hypergamy doesn't care", "alpha phucks/beta bucks", etc), which I think are true but I don't know how to translate that into actions in my relationship. I am OK acknowledging that all women are subject to these hard-wired behaviours, meaning my girlfriend also is, but does that simply mean we should never seek a companion and just phuck around for life? Surely that's not what Rollo means given he is himself married?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

The guy, like the rest of us, learned the hard way. He's not infallible; no one is. He or his wife can walk away from their marriage at any point. I think in a nutshell that's the main thing to accept. Free will does exactly what it says on the tin.

Rollo, along with many others like him, continue to debrief modern men on the conditioning that they been through from day one, and in essence had disproven. Rollo actually describes the blue pill way of life the best that I think |I've heard - Blue pill men are those who are not aware of their own conditioning.

There's nothing wrong with companionship, and if a man behaves like a man and his woman behaves like a woman, marriage is still a great idea. Still like most things in life, there is an element of risk. I think this is the message I take. But at the end of the day, a man, or indeed the woman must be prepared for their partner to lose interest and/or walk away - the Disney conditioning prescribes happily ever after which is just quite unlikely in today's culture of seemingly infinite choice and opportunity. The reality is that our conditioned notion of romantic love simply rarely if ever exists.

I'm sure I've read Rollo say that he still has to game his wife every day, still.

 

[popsickle]

Thanks for the quick reply. If we take a specific example, say that all women hit the Wall eventually and are rather looking for a LT provisioner. Is the point here simply to be aware of that fact, but we cannot do anything about it? What could you possibly do about it apart from simply not being serious with any woman? And similarly for all the other concepts, are we supposed to just accept all of this as a woman's true nature? Frankly sometimes after reading, it just makes me not want to be in any sort of LTR after understanding "the dark side" of women. After acknowledging the facts highlighted by Rollo, are there any sort of steps to take to ensure you don't end up "losing" to the feminine imperative? How do you end up on top in all of this?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Learn and read. Learn and read some more. The only way to avoid 'losing' is to never allow oneself to become so dependent on another person ever again. A woman's prerogative is not the only reason relationships come to an end, you know.

When you meet a girl who likes you, (at least try to) never waiver from that person who she liked the first time. This means being a very strong, centered man with clear passions and purposes in life that will never be dropped for anyone. Be the genuine article. This lifestyle is not for the sake of attracting or keeping a woman; it's just your life. Enjoy it!

There is no way of preventing someone from leaving. You can't control others. You can only control your own life and how you react to the actions of others. And it's not other people that will be there for you in times of need; it's your own self esteem and worth. And that must be preserved regardless of anyone or anything else.

 

[popsickle]

It's almost like a burden of knowledge in the end. Sometimes I feel like ignorance is bliss.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

It's almost like a burden of knowledge in the end. Sometimes I feel like ignorance is bliss.

I get that. I think most guys here do, at least to start with. It takes some time to transition. I'm personally coming out of the other end.

I am sure that the burden of knowledge is far outweighed by the pain caused by ignorance. Too many principles about the dating game ring true to be ignored. Be reassured that it does get easier if you abide by a few simple rules, like self improvement, and preservation having a set of personal standards that you hold others accountable to (in your own mind), and focusing primarily on positive outcomes rather than problems, seeing opportunity rather than things you don't have. Wanting rather than needing.

 

[zekko]

does that simply mean we should never seek a companion and just phuck around for life? Surely that's not what Rollo means given he is himself married?

Rollo used to confuse the crap out of me when he used to post here. He took such a hard line stance, and yet he was married, happily so, he claimed. His explanation was that he was trying to teach beginners who didn't know anything about women, and they needed to be aware of the pitfalls. It certainly IS possible to successfully find a girlfriend (marriage is fraught with danger, however). But you need to put everything into perspective first.

If you've ever seen Game of Thrones, notice how women are treated on that show. That is historically the place they have occupied through most of history. They are there mostly to serve or please men. The men have their own ambitions, and those are their main concern, not their women. It's not that women aren't valuable, it's just that they are not the goddesses that the media likes to portray them as today. They are not above you, and they should not be on a pedestal.

 

[yuppaz]

Dude I never took Rollo's advice to heart (sorry bud). So self-aggrandizing and his experience as a single man was from my understanding very limited. All of his writing seems to be based on other people's writings and experience. Ultimately his lack of real world experience leaves me thinking he is the ultimate kbj.

He's a smart guy, and writes well but give me a dude from the streets that's been dating from cold approaches for a decade any day.

 

[WanderingMan]

I love the Rational Male. I've subscribed to the email news and always enjoy reading new articles. I find it incredible how much it makes sense and how easy it is to relate to. I started reading a couple of years ago and like to think I've internalized at least the basic concepts about hypergamy, relational equity and why it doesn't matter, etc. I am at peace with those facts.
What I often have trouble with after reading an article is understanding how I'm supposed to act on it. To me it all just sounds like no woman is every worth being with. The posts often highlight a fact ("hypergamy doesn't care", "alpha phucks/beta bucks", etc), which I think are true but I don't know how to translate that into actions in my relationship. I am OK acknowledging that all women are subject to these hard-wired behaviours, meaning my girlfriend also is, but does that simply mean we should never seek a companion and just phuck around for life? Surely that's not what Rollo means given he is himself married?

Rollo IS contradictory in a lot of his "teachings". That's one of the reasons why I cannot fully support him. He does have some great material, but a lot of it is based off of research, and not actual experience(s). I have had problems/issues with a few of his post on here and other places, and have questioned him on it....where he has not responded - ignored - which has implied, that what I have asked him, he does not have answers unless he does research.

 

[WanderingMan]

Dude I never took Rollo's advice to heart (sorry bud). So self-aggrandizing and his experience as a single man was from my understanding very limited. All of his writing seems to be based on other people's writings and experience. Ultimately his lack of real world experience leaves me thinking he is the ultimate kbj.

He's a smart guy, and writes well but give me a dude from the streets that's been dating from cold approaches for a decade any day.

Agreed.

 

[raider87]

I've been reading models by mark manson. Good stuff so far.